Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Keyword Chaos: Revisionist Edition

Let’s try some Keyword Chaos. For those who haven’t seen this feature before, it’s an attempt to have a little fun with the weird and wonderful search terms that people use to find MBS. Never ones to leave well enough alone, Randy and I add our comments to each. I hope you enjoy the results as much as we enjoy assembling them.

  • adult hair brush paddles - At Tanner Groves, we harvest only fully mature paddles

  • adult spanking comebacks - Yeah, and your strap is one too!

  • are you spanked? - Uh huh

  • bonnie sexy - Thank you!

  • bubble butt skiny - Is that anything like Fatboy Slim?

  • do massages include spanking - Only if you’re very fortunate

  • duck tape blowjob download - PETA isn’t going to like this

  • embarrassing situations porn - Do you mean embarrassing situations depicted in porn or those caused by porn?

  • errotic spanking - In this case, eroticism might have been erroneous

  • four glasses wine mages me wet pantswhile sleeping - You need to stay away from search engines late at night

  • goatlist - It’s sort of like Craigslist for the barnyard set

  • googd reasons to spank your wife - Well, what did you find when you googd it?

  • how about using a flyswatter for spanking? - Our rule is one for pesky insects and a separate one for naughty bottoms

  • humping your womans leg during a spanking - Down boy!

  • I make my husband wear pantyhose as a punishment - On a hot day, I could totally see that

  • jigsaw puzzles>spanking - That might be the silliest implement ever

  • kinky spanking technique - Is there an unkinky technique?

  • ladies that like`s spanking - I like’s it

  • loving couples spank - Yes, we do

  • majority male spanking relationships - Just how many people are involved?

  • mammy spanked my bottom - I think you’ve watched Gone with the Wind too many times

  • my bottom is too - Yes, I suppose it is

  • nude woman wearing butt plug - If she’s wearing something, she can’t be nude, right?

  • picture of clowns spanking! - There’s no way I’m getting into that car

  • punished for wearing panties - I could be in big trouble!

  • pure spanking - Well, 99.44% that is

  • renaissance faire spanking - Beware of the sadistic friar behind ye olde turkey leg stand

  • rules to be an old fashioned wife - (1) Be born a long time ago

  • scottish spanking - You have to admit that those kilts make things mighty convenient

  • sex stories boat fucked her - I hope it was a really, really small boat

  • shoe salesman panties confession - Ah, a multi-fetish extravaganza

  • slovakia spanking films - I Left My Heart in Bratislava

  • sotires of spankings - Snow tires? So tired? Sot ire?

  • spank bare bottom memory - How could one forget?

  • spank my thong - I prefer my spanks on either side

  • spank that fat butt - Who you callin’ fat?

  • spank your amateur girl - As opposed to a professional girl?

  • spank? - Yes, please

  • spanked buttplug footed jimmies - OK, to each his own

  • spanked for not wearing sensible shoes - I have to think that’s its own punishment

  • spankie spank time - Does anybody know what time it is?

  • spanking a pisces woman - Get one fresh fifteen pound cod…

  • spanking addict - Hey, I’m trying to cut back!

  • spanking inocent looking girls - Looks can be deceiving

  • spanking my girlfriend diapered - It works much better if you take that bulky thing off

  • spanking shame - It’s a shame when it doesn’t happen

  • spanking that arouses - For me, that would be all of them

  • spanking with a belt side effects - Side effects may include redness, bruising, discomfort, difficulty sitting, and increased sexual appetite; If you experience a spanking that lasts longer than four hours, see your doctor immediately as it may be a symptom of a more serious condition

  • what else goes with birthday spankings - Scented massage oil, candles, vibrator, scarves…

  • who likes spanking - I do! I do!

  • why practice domestic discipline - Because practice makes perfect


Keagen said...

LOL :-D How do you find out how people find you?

Hermione said...

Bonnie, I love them all, but ye olde turkey leg stand conjures up quite an image!


Anonymous said...

Forsooth, Hermione stole my favourite one! LOL (Spanko AND RenFest geek; my parents would be so proud . . . .)

Your deadpan responses to those whimsically spelled and punctuated search terms reminded me of Lynn Truss. (ie, Seeing a sign that read Pupil's Entrance, she commented "must be a very exclusive school.")


Angie said...

do massages include spanking -is that what they mean by a happy ending?

duck tape blowjob download -Can't imagine the ducks are terribly thrilled at this, either.

renaissance faire spanking -what the stocks are Really for! (and, have seen spankings while there...)

why practice domestic discipline-because you still aren't doing it right...

Ashley J said...

Thank you! I'll be laughing about some of these the rest of the day.

Bonnie said...

Keagen - I use Google Analytics. There's a little bit of code you include in your template and it collects all sorts of interesting statistics. It's a great way to learn more about who visits your blog and what they like.

Hermione - To give credit where credit is due, that gag was Randy's. We laughed about it too.

Missy - I marvel at what great jokes MBS readers casually hand to me. I couldn't think up material as funny and outlandish as some of these query phrases.

Angie - Often times, we come up with competing responses and try to pick the best one. Sometime, just for fun, I should list ones we rejected as too obscure, too tasteless, or too complicated.

Ashley - You're very welcome. I'm glad you enjoyed Keyword Chaos.

Mrs M said...

These are all hilarious, I loved 'spanking with a belt side effects' - I think every belt from now on should come with a warning label like they use on medicine lol!

Thanks for sharing!

Mrs M

Craig Aych said...

Laughing my ass off! How do you track that? Get the results? Amazing...

Bonnie said...

Mrs. M. - I'd love to see that! Such a notice would certainly remind the reluctant spanker that belts are just as useful when the pants are down!

Craig - You can find out all sorts of interesting information about your readers by installing a counter. I use Google Analytics, but there are many others that are helpful, easy, and free. It requires adding some code to your blog's template, but I doubt you would have any trouble with that.

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