Welcome back to our weekly gathering of spanking enthusiasts. Our question this week is one I am asked regularly. I have an answer, of course, but it's not nearly as valuable as everyone's answers. So let's see what you think...
A couple is new to spanking and they are enjoying their initial explorations. They have been relying upon hands and common pervertable implements, but they are considering expanding their toy collection. What would you recommend (or not recommend) for a first purchase and why?
For those who are unfamiliar with our spanko brunch (we love new participants!), it works like this. Guests leave their thoughts in the form of comments below. Once everyone has had a turn, I will post an edited summary of our discussion.
23 comments :
for us, using toys that have a more well-known purpose helped ease my wife into spanking. Most grocery stores have wooden spoons, large rubber spatulas and other household items that could be use for OTK fun. Goto Home Depot or any hardware store and buy a short length of weather stripping, it can provide a nice sting.
Assuming the are well versed in preventables like the hairbrush and the belt, I would recommend the first purchase be a leather paddle with enough flex that is it a good in between implement
I'd also recommend a leather paddle if you want to go for a new spanking implement. That was my first implement I got outside of the typical household items like hairbrushes and such. Plus I wanted to experience leather but didn't feel ready for the belt as it makes me really nervous. So a leather paddle seemed like a good start! I absolutely love mine! :)
I recommend the London Tanner's 17 x 2 in spanking strop, in the Barbershop section of the LT's website. Ian's toys don't come cheap, but if that's not a key consideration, their quality is superb. The strap I've recommended isn't too severe, and I loved it almost immediately. It's short enough to use OTK if you'd like, and it's wide enough that the blow is spread out, much more than it is for a wooden spoon-- eek!
My only complaint about it is that I can't get my hand comfortably around the handle to use OTK or on a spankee who is lying on a bed. I have to use it with a tennis racket grip, with a spankee bent over a bed or similar. So if you're a female top or a man with small-ish hands, you might want to go for the 1.5 inch model.
I think the leather paddle is a good suggestion, too. I recently bought the Nanny Paddle from the LT, and it can be used sensually or quite stingily, depending on your preferences.
Whatever you buy, I hope you enjoy it!
As above, leather paddle. Reason: it's easy to guage the intensity. Something like a belt often there's no middle ground, either too soft to feel...or big sting.
Leather paddle u can tap and gradually increase the intensity. Plus there's nothing that really sounds as good a leather on a bare ass.
Something simple and versatile, such as a ping-pong paddle, short leather strap or even a small leather paddle.
That way, they can both learn how the implement feels in their hands or on their bottoms and take time building up to full effect.
Plus, that keeps the FUN at the root of it all, so boredom or negative influences don't slip into the mix.
From my own experience I know that it's easy to move to implements that are perhaps more severe than someone new to spanking would be comfortable with. If this couple has already been experimenting with pervertibles, then they've discovered how much a hairbrush can hurt. Riding crops can also inflict too much pain.
I think leather is the way to go, both because it's my own personal preference and because it isn't as harsh as wood. I would suggest a small leather paddle to start with. A slapper makes a lot of noise, which is always fun, but doesn't hurt much. They can later try something larger or thicker.
But that's my preference. The couple involved should also consider their own preferences, and what item resonates with them, or simply looks like something they want to try. A lot depends on the force with which an implement is used, so if, say, a wooden paddle really appeals to them, then by all means they should go for it.
Hugs,
Hermione
I'm going to have to jump on the leather paddle bandwagon, too. Something small for starters, nine inches long or so, no more than two inches wide, with enough give that it can be used for slapping (playfully or punishingly) as well as used more forcefully for sting and a growing red glow. Also, it should have finished edges. For some reason, many of the typical sex shop leather paddles are left with sharp, unfinished edges. Leather, under no circumstances, should be sharp!
As for what should be avoided? The cane! If both parties are new to it, the top should absolutely wait until his/her aim is perfect with other implements, and even then, he or she should practice on an inanimate object, like a throw pillow, to gain both accuracy and understanding of its use. I also agree with Hermione (hi Hermione!) that riding crops can inflict too much pain. It's surprising but true. It's just my personal preference, but I wouldn't want to start with anything wooden, either. My body considers wooden implements to be for punishment only.
xo,
Abby (Yay! I'm brunching again!)
As a first purchase I would recommend a leather paddle. Something simple and with which can give gentle and harder spankings so you can get the feel of it and build up your experience.
I wouldn't recommend a cane but that is just me. It is not something I would want to feel or use so early but something to grow into to.
The thing is there are so many great pervertibles that you can spend so much time using them alone and many can ensure a rosy bottom for any enthusiast.
Hugs
Mina
Taking the scenario in the question - "They have been relying upon hands and common pervertable implements," - I would recommend that they invest in a good quality medium weight leather flogger. These can be difficult to use at first but it will help the spanker develop delivery skills, as the couple transit from beginners to more experienced players, whilst not being harsh enough for any miss hits leaving the person on the receiving end "peeing purple". Like all new things it is best to start off lightly and work up to the spankee's limit. It is a shame that good floggers are expensive but they are a good skill development toy with limited risks for the spankee.
I would also recommend that they get the book "Never mind the roses, send me the thorns", it is a little dated now but it offers good, sound, practical advice without over concentrating on the psychological side of things, as some reference books do.
Prefectdt
I would send them straight to the London Tanners site. :-)
For a new couple, I'd definitely recommend something made of leather for their first implement (or implements). Jumping into something wooden--wood paddles or hairbrushes--might be a little harsh for newbies. A nice piece of leather--one that can be used OTK--should send them spankily on their way into the next phase of their exploration. Perhaps a nice ruler strap would do the trick...
I most certainly would NOT recommend they get a cane. It takes a lot of practice to use one properly, and at this stage of their play, I think a cane would be a disaster...
Dr. Ken
A leather (or rubber-soled light shoe) slipper like a makes a really excellent spanking implement, and slippers can be left lying around without needing an awkward explanation!
The "My First Bondage" kits you can get in sex stores on-line and in many towns can be very good (or can be useless pieces of crap, so buying from people like Babes in Toyland or Good Vibrations is best recommended!)
Exploring with blindfolds and the like can be quite exciting for the newbie, as well!
Funny you chose that picture for this brunch, Bonnie -- I just made up a huge pot of chili -- and my Master agrees it's my best chili ever! :)
There are so many perfectly acceptable pervertables that by the time a couple is ready to move on, they may not be novices any more. ;-p
For several years my husband just used his hands and that was quite fun.
Then we moved on to wooden rulers (which I don't like very much as the one we have stings like the dickens and leaves welts), ping pong paddles (the one we have makes really good noises, loud and smacky, but didn't really provide much in the way of sensation ( light and stingy, no matter how hard the wallop)), and belts (leather is better and be careful of how the edges are finished, they can leave welts).
The first implement I bought for my husband to use on me was a riding crop. I wanted something fairly discrete (it is easy to tuck out of sight), that had the potential to be both stingy and thuddy, and wasn't terribly expensive.
I found one that was less than 10$ off of amazon. (I got one of the ones for horses because, honestly, I couldn't see paying twice as much for the same thing because it was something for "spanking enthusiasts".)
Since spanking for us is primarily about the sensation and secondarily about the submission, I opt for implements that can give a variety of sensations. The flogger that we just got is really nice, it can be soft and caressing, almost tickling, stinging, and thuddy, depending on how it's used.
If the couple enjoys other aspects (the visual, discipline, role play) or other sensations (really stingy, thuddy, loud, etc.) other implements work better. Find the implement that gets you excited and go with it.
Look around, there are lots of places, especially on-line, where you can find decent implements that don't cost all that much.
Good luck!
**michelle**
Hi Bonnie! Long time reader here and now first time poster.
Ok. I'll add the vote for paddles as a first time true spanking toy purchase. Leather if you can afford a good one. Not one with a bar running through the middle of it or the like. London Tanners has some good ones, but do shop around. There is a site, I think it's 'Nancy's Basement' that has a few good leather paddles for about $10.
Now if in wood you want to try, I suggest a thin to medium thick paddle, without holes. No need to leave bruises if you don't have to.
Oh and for the book choices; The Complete Spanker by Lady Green and if you can find this one 'The Essential Guide To The Practice Of Corporal Punishment(Or how do I get my partner interested in spanking)by Lucy Bailey should be on the shopping list.
Oh and Hi Rogue. I am glad that you found this site.
Our first spanking only implement was a wood paddle. Several reasons we picked it. We had nothing else like it in our 'pervertable' collection... wood paddles had been the thing that most meant 'a spanking' to us growing up (school paddles, at home, etc)... and we wanted something for real discipline spankings.
If this couple were similar to us, we'd day get a wood paddle. But if they were more into playful spankings... might recommend a leather paddle. Erotic play... maybe a flogger. Or maybe something like a cane would work for them (especially if they were British).
So, it really does depend. We'd say talk it out, and really... don't be afraid to try things out. After the first, will come a second and third... and so on. So if something doesn't really work as was hoped, no biggie.
:)
Todd & Suzy
Hi Bonnie,
Not knowing what they have actually used, I would suggest the leather paddle, one that is supple and flexible, not too big.
Or a nice small leather flogger, it can give so much pleasure in different ways depending on how it’s used.
Hmmm. Interesting question.
I know ...
How 'bout a 2x4?
It would make sure future discipline problems were rare plus make anything else you ever used seem heavenly in comparison.
I'm going to vote for a nice soft suede flogger because they are so yummy. You can even get the ones that are actually intended for breasts (they are shorter and smaller and so easier to use for an OTK type of scene since they don't need so much swinging room)
Well, this was my question only a year ago! Three toys appear regularly today: the Boudoir paddle from London Tanners, a maple OTK paddle from Walt's, and the Beaver Tail leather paddle from Leather Thorn. Though both leather, the Boudoir and Beaver Tail paddles have quite different feels: the Boudoir is thinner, softer, and more flexible and so stinger; the Beaver Tail is thicker and stiffer and so thuddier. And of course the wood is another thing! All are easy to handle (or so I'm told!). I wouldn't want to give up any of them, and we've both enjoyed exploring the different sensations in different positions and scenarios!
I'm new to spanking, so my take on this might be different than others, but I would love to experience a wooden hairbrush. Something about the old fashioned, more discipline aspects really appeals to me. My partner and I only do spanking for fun, not real discipline, but playing around with "punishment" for silly things is something we've enjoyed so the hairbrush seems like a good one to try.
I love the riding crop. As it only strikes with the tip, which flicks the skin, there is minimal noise, and only a tiny area of skin is stung each time, giving plenty of scope to cover the whole bottom! Also, there is something incredibly sexy about the crop....xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
I followed Bethie's advice and got a leather paddle from Leather Thorn Paddles (he's in the US). We later got other kinky stuff but my paddle with the pretty pink rose is still my favorite. We like spanking to be purely sexual, so pervertables are a turn-off to us. I only want special things to smack my bottom!
Has anyone ever used a Hot Wheels track?
It is truly a unique spanking experience?
OUCH!
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