Bonnie's Mailbag - Part One

The old mailbag is splitting at the seams! I have so much mail to share that I'm going to break it into several posts. Here, for your reading pleasure, is the first installment.

Question: idk if u remember me im the person that asked u about spanking in a relashionship but i did find a gf and we r talking about spanking and even though shes in a different state then me i plan to see her in april but as i was saying we are going to do spanking in a relashionship and we made up some rules for fun that me and her both have to follow but not only do we want to do it as fun we want to also have serious spanking for bad things like smoking is a thing that really really makes me mad so thats an example but i was wondering what all percautions to take and what to do and what not to do and when its time to step it up for more hard smacks but yet at the same time knowing we both r going to be safe but yet take that kind of punishment i guess u could call it.

Response: I encourage you to read some of my tutorials (there’s a drop down box on the right). They address many of the issues you mention.

Comment: just wanted to thank you for your website it has been very helpful for my husband and i and very informatative we have took some ideas from the tutorials and some of the advice has helped him to loosen up and showed me how to talk to him to explain to him what i need thank you

Response: Bravo! Good for you.

Comment: Nice pic of your tushie. The one thing it needs besides a spanking would be a nice thick diaper!! Yummy!!

Response: That’s a whole different fetish.

Question: My wife has a friend at work, a single male, who is a frequent guest at our house for Friday night pizza. I like him and trust him, too. He jokingly refers to me as a "put-upon" husband, though I notice that my wife often nags and teases him in much the same way she nags and teases me. I'm guessing that an arrangement in which he and I bend her over the couch and jointly spank her fanny -- as in the Gidget clip -- would be of interest to him. The thought of it certainly turns me on!

I've spanked my wife now and then in the seventeen years we've been married; I know she likes it at least somewhat. I could bring the subject up with her as well as him, but I don't want to spoil the delicious element of surprise if and when such a dual spanking occurs. As long as our mutual friend and I spank her playfully, is this fantasy worth pursuing? Thank you for your time and consideration to this matter.

Response: I don't have a simple answer for your question. A lot depends upon the relationship you share with your wife. Your plan could be a hoot, but it could also be a disaster.

You might want to try the flip over the sofa back technique without the friend involved. If that generates a positive response, you could consider moving ahead from there.

In any case, it's best to move slowly when you're not certain of outcome. For many of us, spankings are sexual. Even for experienced couples, involving someone else is a significant step.

Comment: I'm a spanking enthusiast too and stumbled over your site while looking for spanko material.

Your site is well organized, a treasure trove of titillating and useful texts, and easy to navigate and read. I'm very happy that you're breaking all the current "standards" which result in the opposite.

But why I'm writing is to compliment you on your ass. It, too, breaks the mainstream "standard" in being just a little too well padded... I LOVE IT! Don't know what it looks like out of those jeans (come on, be daring, post a pic!) but it's just perfect as pictured. Were it not for a thousand little obstacles like the fact that you're already happily married and on another continent, I could see myself eagerly whupping your delectable buns on a daily basis or better.

Response: Too well padded. Yup, that’s me all right.

Question: Shortly after a wonderful (and intense) encounter with a variety of spanking implements, I was shopping at Costco on a very busy day secretly enjoying the soreness of my backside when it occurred to me to wonder if there was anyone else in the store experiencing the same thing. It was a delightful idea because it was entirely possible that there was at least one more sore bottom in the crowded store. Have you ever wondered? Wouldn’t it be fun if there were someway to tell?

Response: Of course I wonder whether people are spankos. Randy and I came up with a fun idea last year. It involves the use of some red fabric tied to a back belt loop as a tag. I don't think anyone else has adopted our suggestion, but it would be fun!

Question: I find I need to be spanked about every 3 days or so. Sometimes, two days in a row, but at least 3 times a week. Is that common? Unfortunately, our sleep-deprived, kid-filled lives interfere. We're spending a lot of time in the closet these days, literally.

Response: I think desire for spanking varies among people and over time. It's much like sexual appetite in that way. Randy and I have enjoyed spanking for many years. In that time, our interest has waxed and waned, but never quite disappeared. There's certainly nothing uncommon about 2-3 spankings per week.

Question: I have been wondering if the need to be dominated runs in families. My mom used to read "Gor" novels. When I was a kid I didn't know what they were. A few months ago, I stumbled upon a description of them on the internet, and had an "aha" moment. Not my scene, but for a divorced/widowed woman in the 70's who didn't want to be in charge of someone else's laundry, probably the best she could get.

Response: I don't know whether this interest runs in families. It would probably be difficult to conduct a study!

Question: What kind of spanking have you always wanted but never had?

Response: Now that’s a great question! I would say that I would like to experience spanking (and lovemaking) in zero gravity.

Question: I registered with your site, but for some reason I can't bring up any tutorials, fiction, etc. What do you think is wrong?

Response: Registered? This site is free and no registration is required. If the drop-down boxes don’t work, it may be because you have JavaScript disabled in your browser.

Comment: I am a fan of your website. I read some of your links and do not like almost all of them. I like your approach best. I think it erotic in a healthy.

I miss your stories. I think that you must be very busy with work, etc..........

Bottom Smarts website is not a money maker. I am mustering up the courage to write some stories of my own. I may share them with you.

Response: I'm glad you enjoy my blog. Thank you for your kind words. I'm a little surprised that you dislike most of my links. There are several that are reasonably close to MBS in tone and content. One of the benefits/curses of operating a popular blog is that people tend to borrow. I choose to take that as an acknowledgment that I'm doing something right. In any case, my purpose in posting all of those links is to present other voices that MBS readers might appreciate.

Yeah, I miss the stories as well. There will be more, but I can't tell you just when. I have lots to share, but precious little uninterrupted quiet time to write. I tend to be a perfectionist. Until a story is just right, I don't want to post it. As a result, I have this remarkable collection of half-told spanking tales. I tell myself that I'll finish them one day, if I remember what happened.

I don't take any money for MBS. I like it that way. The arrangement allows me to say what I want without fear of offending a sponsor. I decided at the very beginning that this blog cannot be about money. There are enough mercenary spanking sites already. I have no argument with bloggers who choose to participate in advertising and affiliate programs. That's just not me.

If you choose to share spanking stories, I'd love to read them.

Stay tuned for more mailbag posts in the coming days!