It's Sunday and time again for our Spanko Brunch. We have a fun topic this week and I look forward to reading your responses.
Most of us enjoy spanking and/or being spanked, but we have slightly different reasons why we enthusiastically partake in the percussive arts. I thought it might be enlightening to explore those motivations.
What is your favorite spanking outcome? Is it seeing and feeling that warm, red, stinging flesh? Is it raging lust? Is it a feeling of peace? Is it the thrill of the experience? Is it renewed openness and communication with your partner? Is it a sense of submission (or dominance)? Is it greater emotional intimacy? Is it restoration of order and perspective? Or is it perhaps something else?
As always, your input is most welcome. Just leave a message below. Once everyone has had a turn, I will post an edited summary of our conversation.
15 comments :
My favorite part of the spanking is the feeling of anticipation. Waiting for the 1st swat to land feeling the heat from Aeons hand. The gentle caress afterward knowing that anytime another swat will fall hearing the moan of pleasure that escapes my lips as Aeons fingers trace the palm print he left behind and then my breath catching as he lands the next swat with a surprising quickness. Its like a roller coaster...you know the hill is coming and that you will be turned upside down but the rush is still good.
I have a very busy brain. I'm constantly thinking about lots of things all the time.
When my husband spanks me, it is one of the few times I am able to just live in the moment. When he turns me over the edge of the bed and starts reddening my tush with whichever implement, the only thing I'm thinking about is how good it feels. Everything else recedes into the background and my head is quiet, often for the first time in ages.
I like the seeing the red left behind, as well as the ache and occasional bruise because depending on how long they last, it can be a vivid reminder even a few days later of our fun time together.
The submission is part of it as well. I'm very much an alpha female and every once in a while I want to not be in charge. For spankings, he is totally in charge. Sometimes he lets me choose implements but mostly he say, "turn over, lift your skirt" and starts in. This is tied very closely to the being in the moment thing above.
But most of all, I like that he cares enough about my desires to do something that's just for me. Spanking isn't his thing and it took him several years to get comfortable with it. He does it because he's seen how much I enjoy it. I treasure that. Each time he spanks me, it shows me that he is accepting of who I am and that he cares enough about me to do something that isn't really his thing.
Michelle hit a nail very squarely on the head with her "busy brain" comment.
For the effects of a spanking, in the short term (at the time) it is the high, in the medium term (2 to 3 weeks after) it provides stress relief and in the long term (2 to 3 months after) it helps maintain mental focus, more than three months without a whupping and the thought process turns to mush.
My favorite time during the spanking is the half way through point. Once you're over the "Oh my God that hurts" part and your flying high but you know there is still lots more to come. Sometimes, when the world seems to be sweeping you up in the mass of humanity, it is good to be the center of attention in someone else's universe, even if it is just for a short time.
Prefectdt
I have a lot of favorite outcomes! Mainly I love the feeling of submission. It is a huge turn-on for me that he has absolute control during this time. I wouldn't call myself an alpha female like Michelle, but I definitely am something of a control freak. Giving up that control and being so vulnerable to him is really freeing for me. I can go into this sort of meditative space during a spanking that is a wonderful stress reliever for me. And like most of us, I love feeling it the next day!
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, Bonnie, it is all those things, though not all every time...different types of spank, and depending where we are in our heads, we experience some or all the things you mention!My favorite outcome is the closeness we feel afterwards, the total exclusion of the world and its problems and burdens; its just us...
If its a punishment spanking, I crave it, so I can feel forgiven, restored, free of the burden of guilt, totally submissive to his total dominance....back in my sweethearts good books. It also confirms the feeling that I am loved, because if he didnt love me he wouldn't care how I behaved.
If its a stress relief, I feel (derrr...) relieved of stress, light headed, content, centred, at peace with everything, "nothing can touch me now"...
If its an erotic spanking, it is wonderful way of getting real close and in the mood, relaxed, pushing the troubles of the day out the door, and wow, what a time we have!
Just because, turns out much the same way!
If its a good girl spanking, there is an intimacy and tenderness about it even tho there are no tender smacks...lol
If I havent had the attention I deserve/want, I will not ask for a spanking, but will brat till I get one. He understands this is why I do it and never fails to deliver, though he delights in doing this in some way that shocks/surprises me, or pushes the boundaries somewhat, because he says, if HE is in charge, he should be the one to decide when he spanks me! This is exciting, fills me with apprehension which is so sexy, yet scary at the same time...raging lust fits here, lol. And the stinging flesh is also a factor!
If I am cross with him I have a tendency (which infuriates him) to not speak to him; this is because I often don't trust myself to handle it right, i am prone to say things on the spur of the moment which are not well thought through...and make matters worse. However, he hates me not talking to him, so even though it is HIM who has pissed ME off, I am the one who gets in trouble! This spanking culminates in openness and discussion, but if i still say it wrong, the communication results in me being spanked again(red, stinging flesh! owchh!) till there is a restoration of order and perspective, ie. "damn well speak to me in a proper fashion, there is a way to tell me I have messed up, and a way not to...you picked the wrong way..." OOOHHH, I LOVE it when he gets all stern on me...
As others have said, I too am a strong, in charge type of person, and to have that taken away (I would never give it up willingly) is liberating, freeing, sexy beyond belief!
No matter what type of spank, the result is always greater emotional intimacy, and a stabilizing effect on our relationship.
Hugs, xxx
All of the above! I crave the combination of receiving controlled physical pain and feeling completely submissive. That puts me into a very special mental place.
As others have said, it provides a merciful--although temporary--escape from a mind full of noise. The peace that results does away with stress for a while.
The sexual release after a spanking is always much more intense and satisfying. I experience a strong feeling of closeness to my husband afterward, because he has reached the most intimate part of me.
Hugs,
Hermione
My favorite spanking outcome is the great sex that nearly always comes afterward (other than domestic discipline spankings). I wouldn't say that finishing off an erotic spanking sparks off "raging lust," but there is always a sense of excitement about what is about to happen. As for "renewed openness and communication," spanking has pretty much provided with that 24-7, so I guess that qualifies as a favorite outcome too.
I agree with those who said all of the above. I have to say that it doesn't do much for me on quieting my busy mind, but I adore the emotional intimacy, and someone taking the situation out of my hands for a moment.
Of your very complete list of possibilities and as a switch, it is: enjoyable sting for me and enjoyable sharing arousal with my partner bottoming. It is the lust that comes during and after and it is the tighter emotional bond. Since I'm not into discipline spankings, it is only the pleasurable aspects -- before in anticipation, initially in the contact, during in the building sting and being stung and a during and after in the arousal.
To some extent I like the controlled pain. The physical contact is nice too. Mostly though, I love the warm, tingly feeling I get afterwards. I even like seeing the marks that will undoubtedly have been left (a combination of not getting spanked that often and very pale skin), though most of the time I immediately bruise. And sometimes I just need an excuse to brat, and roleplay or doing shoots gives you the opportunity to be as bratty as you want, with both people knowing you don't actually mean what you're saying.
I guess it's a combination of all of those things, and just the situation itself as it unfolds. It's the little things that happen during the spanking, the funny moments and the truly mortifying ones, that I treasure.
Bonnie,
Firstly, spanking my girl was a celebration of our love for each other, a little later glorying in my dominance and her submission.
As we grew closer the awareness of just how intimate an act this became, in some ways far more intimate than sex.
My growing awareness of her needs, her knowing that her submission fed my needs.
Our lifestyle fed our strengths and ameliorated our weaknesses,
not to mention the fantastic sex.
Warm hugs,
Paul
I think it is a combination of many things. I like the feeling of being cared for. I love that Sir cares about me enough to correct me when I've done something wrong. I grew up in an unsatisfactory and abusive home in many ways, and never really got to feel the compassion and care that I should have gotten as a child.
When I am disciplined, Sir never takes it too far, never *hurts* me more than neccesary to make a message stick.
So there is a sense of submission that I like because I am allowing this to happen, yet I am surrendering myself into Sir's arms because I trust him. I never got to expereience that feeling of trust when I was younger, and knowing that it is there now is one of my favorite outcomes. It also restores order and perspective in my life. When I break rules like staying up too late and I am punished, it is a sense of closure, and another one of my favorite outcomes because it really brings home the fact that I found a good Sir, someone who cares about where my direction in life is and who is willing to help keep me on the track to success.
Wow, I love this queston and everyone's comments. I too suffer from "busy brain" and there are tiimes when, try as I might I cannot get into the momment with sex alone. (Not often - but there are times) Lucky for me, all the spankings have increased my comfort level with straight out honesty, and saying, "It feels good, but I can't get there." TO my delight, this is a spankable offence - and oh so easily I am totally in the moment, and the sex afterward always has the desired release. There is a release with spanking too, and just the intimate connection. It is so special to be totally his and totally surrendered.
Hi Bonnie, Hope you are well?
My favourite outcome is catharsis and a clean slte, always works for me to feel whole again :)
I was tagged for a meme by Spankedhortic who posted it in his blog this Sunday (2nd November), part of the meme is to tag 7 other bloggers for it and I thought that you might consider giving it a go.
It works like this,
The Rules
* Link to your tagger and list these rules on your blog.
* Share 7 facts about yourself on your blog - some random, some weird.
* Tag 7 people at the end of your post by leaving their names as well as links to their blog.
* Let them know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.
Hope you can join in and keep it going
Emma
xx
For me I feel it is chiefly about connection. I am a very tactile person and love to touch and be touched so spanking is great for that. It is also a sexual and sensual experience so it arouses me and makes me feel loved, it also allows me to be more open on every level.
Hugs
Mina
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