Sunday, November 02, 2008

Recap: MBS Sunday Brunch for Nov 2

Our topic of the week was favorite spanking outcomes. Here are your responses.

Aeon's Angel: My favorite part of the spanking is the feeling of anticipation. I like waiting for the first swat to land and feel the heat from Aeon’s hand. I feel the gentle caress afterward, knowing that any time another swat will fall. I enjoy hearing the moan of pleasure that escapes my lips as Aeon’s fingers trace the palm print he left behind. Then as I catch my breath, he lands the next swat with a surprising quickness. It’s like a roller coaster. You know the hill is coming and that you will be turned upside down, but the rush is still good.

Michelle: I have a very busy brain. I'm constantly thinking about lots of things all the time.

When my husband spanks me, it is one of the few times that I am able to just live in the moment. When he turns me over the edge of the bed and starts reddening my tush with whichever implement, the only thing I think about is how good it feels. Everything else recedes into the background and my head is quiet, often for the first time in ages.

I like the seeing the red left behind, as well as the ache and occasional bruise because, depending on how long they last, they can be a vivid reminder of our fun time together, even a few days later.

I like the submission is part of it as well. I'm very much an alpha female and every once in a while I want to not be in charge. For spankings, he is totally in charge. Sometimes he lets me choose implements, but mostly he says, "turn over, lift your skirt" and starts in. This is tied very closely to the being in the moment thing I described above.

Most of all, I like that he cares enough about my desires to do something that's just for me. Spanking isn't his thing and it took him several years to get comfortable with it. He does it because he's seen how much I enjoy it. I treasure that. Each time he spanks me, it shows me that he is accepting of whom I am and that he cares enough about me to do something that isn't really his thing.

Perfectdt: Michelle hit a nail very squarely on the head with her "busy brain" comment.

As for the beneficial effects of a spanking, in the short term (at the time) it is the high. In the medium term (2 to 3 weeks after), it provides stress relief and in the long term (2 to 3 months after), it helps to maintain mental focus. If I go more than three months without a “whupping,” my thought process turns to mush.

My favorite time during the spanking is the half-way point. It when you're over the "Oh my God that hurts" part and you’re flying high, but you know there is still lots more to come. Sometimes, when the world seems to be sweeping you up in the mass of humanity, it is good to be the center of attention in someone else's universe, even if it is just for a short time.

PM Duo: I have a lot of favorite outcomes! Mainly, I love the feeling of submission. It is a huge turn-on for me that he has absolute control during this time. I wouldn't call myself an alpha female like Michelle, but I definitely am something of a control freak. Giving up that control and being so vulnerable to him is really freeing for me. I can go into this sort of meditative space during a spanking that is a wonderful stress reliever for me. And like most of us, I love feeling it the next day!

Daisy: Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, Bonnie, it is all those things, though not all every time. There are different types of spankings, and depending upon where we are in our heads, we experience some or all the things you mention. My favorite outcome is the closeness we feel afterwards, the total exclusion of the world and its problems and burdens. It’s just us...

If it’s a punishment spanking, I crave it, so I can feel forgiven, restored, free of the burden of guilt, totally submissive to his total dominance, and back in my sweetheart’s good books. It also confirms the feeling that I am loved, because if he didn’t love me, he wouldn't care how I behaved.

If it’s for stress relief, I feel (derrr...) relieved of stress, light headed, content, centered, at peace with everything, and as though "nothing can touch me now."

If it’s an erotic spanking, it is wonderful way of getting really close and in the mood, relaxed, pushing the troubles of the day out the door, and wow, what a time we have! Just becausespankings turn out much the same way!

If it’s a good girl spanking, there is an intimacy and tenderness about it even though there are no tender smacks...LOL

If I haven’t had the attention I deserve/want, I will not ask for a spanking. But I will brat until I get one. He understands why I do it and never fails to deliver. In fact, he delights in doing this in some way that shocks and surprises me, or pushes my boundaries somewhat. He says that since HE is in charge, he should be the one to decide when he spanks me! This is exciting. It fills me with apprehension that is so sexy, yet scary at the same time. Raging lust fits here as well. LOL The stinging flesh is also a factor!

If I am cross with him, I have a tendency to not speak to him. This infuriates him. I often don't trust myself to handle it right. I am prone to say things on the spur of the moment that are not well thought through. This makes matters worse. However, he hates it when I don’t talk to him. So, even HE pissed ME off, I am the one who gets in trouble! This spanking culminates in openness and discussion. But if I still say it wrong, the communication results in me being spanked again (red, stinging flesh! owchh!) until there is a restoration of order and perspective (i.e. "Damn well better speak to me in a proper fashion. There is a way to tell me I have messed up and a way not to. You picked the wrong way..."). OOOHHH, I LOVE it when he gets all stern on me...

As others have said, I too am a strong, in charge type of person. To have that control taken away (I would never give it up willingly) is liberating, freeing, sexy beyond belief! Whatever the type of spanking, the result is always greater emotional intimacy, and a stabilizing effect upon our relationship.

Hermione: All of the above! I crave the combination of receiving controlled physical pain and feeling completely submissive. That puts me into a very special mental place.

As others have said, it provides a merciful – although temporary – escape from a mind full of noise. The peace that results does away with stress for a while.

The sexual release after a spanking is always much more intense and satisfying. I experience a strong feeling of closeness to my husband afterward, because he has reached the most intimate part of me.

Spanky: My favorite spanking outcome is the great sex that nearly always comes afterward (other than domestic discipline spankings). I wouldn't say that finishing off an erotic spanking sparks off "raging lust," but there is always a sense of excitement about what is about to happen. As for "renewed openness and communication," spanking has pretty much provided with that 24-7, so I guess that qualifies as a favorite outcome too.

Lee: I agree with those who said all of the above. I have to say that it doesn't do much to quiet my busy mind, but I adore the emotional intimacy and someone taking the situation out of my hands for a moment.

Curtis G: Considering your very complete list of possibilities as a switch, my favorites are an enjoyable sting for me and sharing enjoyable arousal when my partner is bottoming. I like the lust that comes during and after and the tighter emotional bond. Since I'm not into discipline spankings, it is only pleasurable aspects throughout – the anticipation, the initial contact, the building sting, and the arousal afterward.

Irelynn: To some extent, I like the controlled pain. The physical contact is nice too. Mostly though, I love the warm, tingly feeling I get afterward. I even like seeing the marks that will undoubtedly have been left (thanks to a combination of not getting spanked that often and very pale skin). Most of the time, though, I bruise immediately. Sometimes, I just need an excuse to brat. Role play or doing shoots gives you the opportunity to be as bratty as you want, with both people knowing that you don't actually mean what you're saying.

I guess it's a combination of all of those things, and just the situation itself as it unfolds. It's the little things that happen during the spanking. I treasure both the funny moments and the truly mortifying ones.

Paul: Firstly, spanking my girl was a celebration of our love for each other, and a little later, glorying in my dominance and her submission. As we grew closer, we gained an awareness of just how intimate an act this became. In some ways, it was far more intimate than sex.

My awareness of her needs grew as her knowledge of her submission fed my needs. Our lifestyle fed our strengths and ameliorated our weaknesses, not to mention the fantastic sex.

Jai: I think it is a combination of many things. I like the feeling of being cared for. I love that Sir cares about me enough to correct me when I've done something wrong. I grew up in an unsatisfactory and abusive home in many ways, where I never really felt the compassion and care that I should have gotten as a child.
When I am disciplined, Sir never takes it too far. He never *hurts* me more than necessary to make a message stick.

So there is a sense of submission that I like because I am allowing this to happen, yet I am surrendering myself into Sir's arms because I trust him. I never got to experience that feeling of trust when I was younger. Knowing that it is there now is one of my favorite outcomes. It also restores order and perspective in my life. When I break a rule, such as staying up too late, and I am punished, there is a sense of closure. This is another one of my favorite outcomes because it really brings home the fact that I found a good Sir, someone who cares about where my direction in life is and who is willing to help keep me on the track to success.

Mary: Wow, I love this question and everyone's comments. I too suffer from "busy brain." There are times when, try as I might, I cannot get into the moment with sex alone. It does happen often, but there are times. Lucky for me, all the spankings have increased my comfort level with straight out honesty, and saying, "It feels good, but I can't get there." To my delight, this is a spankable offence. Then I am oh so easily totally in the moment and the sex afterward always has the desired release. There is a release with spanking too, as well as the intimate connection. It is so special to be totally his and totally surrendered.

Emma Bishop: My favourite outcomes are catharsis and a clean slate. It always works for me to feel whole again. :)

Mina: For me, I feel it is chiefly about connection. I am a very tactile person and love to touch and be touched, so spanking is great for that. It is also a sexual and sensual experience, so it arouses me and makes me feel loved. It also allows me to be more open on every level.

Bonnie: For us, all of these considerations apply, though typically not simultaneously. If I must choose just one, my favorite outcome might be the emotional intimacy and sense of connectedness. After a great spanking session (with all the trimmings, of course), I feel as though Randy and I are two complementary halves of a greater whole.

Thanks to everyone who shared their experiences and insights. I hope you’ll join us for brunch next week.

1 comment :

Anonymous said...

Afterwards, when he says, "I'm so proud of you. You really tried hard to take your spanking without squirming. You did squirm a little, though, so next time you're going to get 3 extra...."

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