Recap: MBS Sunday Brunch for Sep 21

Our topic was canes and caning. Here are your thoughts.

D: I have never been caned. It looks very painful and from what I can see it leaves quite the impression for some time. I am curious and would like to try it at least once.

Brambleberry Blush: Canes?! The marks alone are enough to convince me that I couldn't take it, but I felt that way about big paddles a year ago too. So who knows? Maybe I will someday.

Jai: No! I hate the cane! I got out of a bad relationship with an ex-boyfriend who abused the cane and, through that, abused me. Now that I've connected with an official Dom, he knows that I have a fear of the cane. So far, he hasn't said he would use it on me.

Maybe in the future, I can allow myself to be caned again, but for the time being, I can't handle the cane or the emotions it would bring up.

Anon #1: I've been caned. I could take a few strokes, but not all that many (maybe 20). I preferred it to the large wooden paddle he had and it was a welcome break from his rubber paddle. I always find that a change can really make a difference, even if it is to another ouchy item.

Todd: I went many, many years without ever using a cane. It's something I wasn't exposed to growing up. I didn't even know what it was until I found spanking on the internet. Even then, my spanking partners had no interest in canes. That was probably for the same reason – they weren't exposed to canes growing up in the US. Paddles, belts and hairbrushes are far, far more common.

A couple of years ago, at our first spanking party, Suzy and I got to watch a caning scene live. It was pretty interesting, and something that Suzy wanted to experience. I have to admit though that it still wasn't my thing. The idea of 'crossing lines' or causing a cut kind of freaked me out.

So... Suzy had some sessions at parties with experienced tops. I picked up some tips and got more comfortable with it. A few months ago, we ordered some canes from Cane-iac. We bought several different types including classic rattan school-type canes to some pretty harsh synthetic ones.

We have played several times with them, and I have enjoyed myself (as has Suzy). I do keep it light though. No more than pushing to the edge of moderate. I just don't want to cause an injury.

The fact remains that canes still aren't a part of my 'spanking DNA.' I just don't have that connection with them. They're good for having some fun, and I will continue to use them from time to time. But they'll never be “my thing.”

Em: We play with canes fairly regularly, though not as often as some of our other toys.

Jack's technique with the cane has always been more a series of light to moderate strokes very quickly. I am intrigued by the more traditional "six of the best" type caning and I would love to have a go at one sometime.

I will say that our cane is pretty ordinary. We don't have any super fancy ones. We did have a few acrylic canes once, but the thin one broke on me the first time we used it. Despite the sales lady assuring me that they don't break, I know one other couple who broke one, so they haven't made an appearance in our toy box since. Hmm... Maybe that sales lady needs a caning? *grin*

Heather: I've never been caned. I'm too scared of it. Even if my husband knew about caning, he understands that marks bring back horrible memories of an ex-boyfriend bruising me during a spanking. What happened when he bruised me was that the abuse and marks in any form became etched in my brain as something I never wanted again. While I have not given up my desire to be spanked, I certainly never want to be marked.

RPT: We have a collection of canes, conventional rattan and one nasty Lexan.

We play with them often. They are painful, but we like the marks they leave and the after-effects last for a while, which we also like.

Sometimes I just want a hard spanking and a cane does that beautifully.

Dragonmage: I got a small (cheap) rattan cane from a local shop when Luvbunny and I started exploring spanking. She hated it at first, but as I practised (on a pillow and on her ass), I got better at controlling the cane. She loves it now, so much so that I recently acquired a thicker (and nicer) rattan cane to add to the thin rattan and acrylic canes we already had.

Mrs. Smith: We have never used an actual cane, but we have used a blind twist. I HATE that thing and it is reserved for really bad occasions.

Another experience I had with a cane-like object was with a riding crop. One day, Scott and I were wrestling for it and the little leather tip ripped off. It was left as just a long skinny rod with a handle.

He used it on me a lot before he left for basic. It worked for play, for punishment, and for everything. I absolutely LOVED it. I never thought I would say that about any cane type object, but it just hurt oh so good!

I love it.

Impishh1: No cane for me! I'm the spanko, so there's no chance of my husband wanting to try one on his own. Just to make sure he keeps it straight, I tell him, "no sticks, no sticks!" That way, there's no confusion and no canes, switches, or rods of any kind! Since we do fun spanking, the whole point is to spare the rod and spoil the... well, me.

Prefectdt: I love being caned and cannot get enough of it. The great thing about canes (rattan type) is that every cane has a slightly different effect and combined with every spanker having a different style, means that every caning is (although similar) a unique experience.

The fun does not stop with the caning. Walking around after a hard caning creates a wonderful sensation in the buttocks.

For anyone new to caning, I would recommend that you try it a few times before deciding if it is for you or not. The cane is an implement that can take some getting used to.

Dr. Ken: I've never used a cane, and I don't think I ever will. In spite of its reputation as an English disciplinary tool, it just never seemed like a "spanking" implement to me.

OliviaManners: The cane is an implement that commands a lot of respect from me.

More than most other implements, I feel that it captivates us both into a certain timelessness. That is because the pace of the cane is different. It can be used with quick, sharp, stinging strokes, but more often, it is the slow, deliberate placing of each stripe, the pause between each one, the sense of a longer gaze at my bottom as he admires his work and decides where to place the next.

It is often used in my discipline sessions as the penultimate, the most formal, and the most eye-widening upon the mention of it or the sound of it swishing behind me. Oddly, it doesn't hurt me the most (that will be the plimsoll :( ), and yet, I still feel most disciplined by it.

Outside of discipline, it is also the implement that takes me most readily to the core of my submission, with an almost sacrificial quality to it. I feel bared, enduring, open, incredibly strong, and offering of myself.

The positions required for the cane are often amongst the most embarrassing and the feeling of a finger tip trailing over a fresh welt is delicious. Then, of course, there are the lasting stripes to remind you and connect you. So, if I hadn't already made it clear, I love the cane!

P.S. A friend of mine who had tried the cane once and really disliked it a few years back, recently was encouraged to try it again by someone new. He felt the reason she may have disliked the feelings was because it was being done too *lightly*. Sure enough, when he gave her a few more purposeful ones, it prompted a different sensation, with a deeper bite, that somehow just felt bearable. Now she wants to experience it more!

Helpmegrow aka HMG: My only cane experience is through reading stories and website accounts of real punishments. I have to admit that to me they are very scary things indeed. Even so I would someday like to experience it and eventually "six of the best." At this point, however, I have no idea how I would respond. Perhaps it would work as a strongly needed discipline. A girl can dream.

D & S: Yes, but we treat the cane with great respect. A heavy cane, used hard on a bare bottom will cause serious damage, and even bleeding. We use a light swishy cane about 30" long and not too hard. D tries to keep his elbow into his side, as they do in some Arabic states, which limits the force. We also very rarely cane on the bare. S wears thin jeans, stretched drum tight, and says she thinks it stings more like this, as the bottom beneath them is held so tightly, but does give some protection against long term bruising, and the cane makes a lovely 'thwack' on the tight denim. She loves to feel the stripes still tingling her bottom the next day, or making her fidget on her chair.

PK: None of my fantasies ever included the cane when I was growing up. I like something wide and flat. Since I am the spanko, I doubt Nick would decide to try it with out my suggestion. He has used the shaft of the crop and I didn't like it too much. He switched me once and while it hurt like the dickens. I would be willing to try it again in moderation. There were a few marks, but I liked them. If Nick did decide he wanted to try a cane, I would be willing to at least give it a try.

Jim: For me, the cane is champagne!

Suzanne: For me, the cane is the ultimate punishment. Just my husband mentioning it is enough to straighten me out REAL quick. In our house, it’s only used for really bad punishments. Although I hate it, I have to admit that it does put me back in that submissive state that my husband demands of me.

Paul: Mel hated the cane for punishment, but loved it for scenes. It was the marks she loved. Many times I would catch her in the bedroom admiring her marks or unconsciously running her fingers over the marks with a smile. I had to ration her canings or else her bottom would never heal.

Soma: I don't think I will ever try the cane. It scares the hell out of me. I'm not sure why. If it were ever used, I'm sure it would only be for very, very serious punishments. But the person who spanks me now has never used the cane, and like me, he doesn't have an interest in using it either. Maybe it's not as bad as I think it is, but just the reactions of spankee's in the few video clips I've seen are enough to scare me away from it.

PM Duo: We've never used a cane. I have to admit that I'm curious and would probably be willing to give it a try. However, it scares me a little! I kind of doubt that I could ever get him to use one. He worries about marks and pain despite my repeated assurances that I love both!

Hermione: We have never used a cane. I am curious and would like to try it, although I might be sorry I did. I have read many enthusiastic reports about them, most notably how Abby Learned to Love the Cane. I think that if I got the cane after being very well warmed up, I might enjoy it.

When I asked Ron what his thoughts were regarding caning, he said it had never occurred to him, and that it would probably deliver more pain than I would really want. He couldn't imagine beating me with a rigid walking stick. He did say it was up to me and if it was something I really wanted to try he would go along with it.

But do I or don't I?

Anon #2: My wife and I actually have three different canes, a light one, and two heavier ones. We are very careful in how we use them. Used properly, they need not be dangerous or even uncomfortable! The effect can be just delightfully stingy if you use them lightly – especially a number of light, quick strokes with the light cane.

We have shared our techniques with some couples with whom we play with and no one has found them objectionable when used correctly.

When my wife is in the mood for stronger or heavier play, canes are very effective. They also have such a strong history that their use adds greatly to the psychological aspects of spanking play!

Raheretic: I've used canes a good bit and have a collection of canes and rods of a variety of materials, thicknesses, and lengths. My favorites are Deluxe Canes of select rattan, with the excellent treatment Adam & Gillian’s uses to prepare them. I have had a lot of success with delryn canes too.

My swan had never been caned when we first met. One of our most momentous early sessions was her first caning. I'd played with her head for weeks in advance of the caning (we were in a long distance relationship then). When the time came, I was (uncharacteristically) merciful. She was actually disappointed. The experience had not lived up to the "build up" I'd given it. It had been anti-climactic for her. It was very early on in our relationship. I didn't want to risk so severely traumatizing her that she felt it was unsafe to continue with me. The next time we were together I flayed her bottom for her so that she never complained about the laxness of a caning again.

Swan has come to love the cane, and if we go too long between canings, she will begin to long to have her bottom striped again. I usually work some amount of caning in most of our spankings, and sometimes caning is the essence of the event.

Recently we lost our favorite cane to breakage. swan led the way in our search of the Internet for a suitable replacement. Finally securing a worthy cane from Adam & Gillian’s, she was thrilled until I switched in the air. Then she assumed that tremendously paradoxical visage that somehow combines blushing lust, excitement, consternation, and terror. I had her undress immediately so we could resolve her dilemma. :)

Our Bottoms Burn: I am frankly surprised that so many readers of MBS have a fear of the cane. Sure it can be a terror, but it does not have to be. I think a single tail whip is something to be feared more than a cane. While I don’t think most readers of MBS are into real pain, I know a cane can be used with awe-inspiring effect for both parties. Try a short whippy cane. Swoosh!

Eliane: I really don't like the cane much. It's a very intense kind of a pain, but I like the marks afterwards ;-) Then again, I could probably say that about most stuff I'm spanked with!

Greenwoman: I've tentatively tried a few times with my husband. He's been very gentle with these early experiments. The jury is still out for me. I think I'd like to try it someone with someone who's really got a love for canes. I have taken note that people who really love to spank with an implement tend to use it quite masterfully. My husband isn't partial to it, so I doubt he'll get to that place with it that I'd like to experience before I fully make up my mind about it. Mostly, I think that it might deliver more pain than I can handle.

Cookie: I don't particularly like the cane at all. I do enjoy watching canes being used in the videos or others, but I hate having one used on me for more then just a few playful swats. Although the cane actually doesn't have the same effect as a brush, I feel that is worse because the effects last longer and it can be given longer and harder. I am not sure though, but if I had the choice, I’d rather take a cane stroke then one from a brush.

Daisy: My ex came home very drunk one night and in a bad mood. Let’s just say canes are a terrifying memory for me.

But, with my new sweetheart, I would trust him to use one without causing damage, and almost look forward to the ghost being laid to rest...

Radha: We have a couple of canes, but I've only been swatted with them on a couple of occasions. I do like the after-effects! And he likes the stripes. But, I have to admit that they don't come out as much as I'd like. They do seem scary and I think that's what I like about it.

P.S. It's so lovely to read such varied responses!

Elle: I used to fantasise about canes a lot. Growing up in the UK, it was always something of a topic for discussion and I remember some of my earliest spanking fantasies and experiments were with caning as a focus rather than "spanking."

However, I seem to have grown out of it. Previous partners used canes and I enjoyed it, but my boyfriend now would never dream of using something as painful as the cane on me. I really do prefer his hand or belt and his playful style. I wouldn't really want him to cane me as it would change the dynamic of our relationship. I like the way we are. I don't need the cane.

Carye: Yes we have tried it, but only over clothes. PS is too worried about breaking the skin with such a thin implement. It was too stingy for what I like best, but I did like that the warmth lasted for a long time!

Bonnie: As Todd says, the cane wasn’t part our spanking lore during our formative years here in the US. When I was first exposed to the concept of caning, it was through various spanking publications and later on the Internet. The depiction in those venues was frequently savage and punitive. I vividly recall photographs of unfortunate young women whose grotesque welts bordered on disfigurement.

I carried this vision with me for a number of years. I wouldn’t have considered accepting even a single stroke, let alone an entire session. Then I started talking with caning enthusiasts. As I probably should have realized, there is a whole spectrum of severity levels, just as with any serious implement. The cane can be brutal to be sure, but so can a paddle. But in the right hands, a cane can also be quite sensual.

Our cane was selected with precisely this in mind. It’s short and light. I imagine it might break if Randy were to crank back and swing it like a tennis racket. His technique consists of a large number of repetitive short, quick, snapping strikes. It’s more than a tap, but less than a blow. The effect for me intensifies as he continues. Within a few minutes, I achieve a delicious stinging glow. There are no visible stripes, just some redness and warmth to the touch. It’s painful, but certainly not excruciatingly so.

We don’t use the cane often. It’s more of a change of pace implement for us, but it’s definitely part of our repertoire.

Thank you all for an excellent discussion. I hope you'll join us again when we reconvene next Sunday.