Sunday, August 03, 2008

Recap: MBS Sunday Brunch for August 3

Our brunch topic this week was sharing our internet adventures, such as blogging, IM, chats, and forums, with our partners. Here are your thoughts.

Thomas: Being as "out" as I am about my spanking interests, it would be hypocritical of me to hide my activities from those that I'm close to. I've never had any trouble from this, even when those activities included cyberplay in chat rooms or looking for new playmates through personals. It's a part of who I am, and they have always understood that.

Naomi: My husband isn't quite a 'spanko' just yet. He's still embarking on the journey, but he's getting there. As far as him knowing all of what I do, he has an idea. He knows I have a blog. I've shared the link with him, but I don't think he reads it. He knows I participate in forums, and have friends that I talk to over IM.

Sometimes, he's a bit weary about it, and I think it's because he's not quite sure of how the whole 'spanko community' works.

We are currently seeking a disciplinarian, because he just joined the army. This is a big step for him. He is sort of becoming more involved with the search, so every day I am more and more 'out' about the things I do in the 'spankosphere.'

Before he was more involved, I did sort of keep it a secret. I guess I was just scared of his reaction. I would close the windows every time he walked in, and I still do sometimes. But, again, I think it's mostly just that I'm scared of his reaction. Because even though he's slowly transforming into a spanko himself, he still thinks first with his vanilla brain.

Dragonmage: My partner, luvbunny, is very aware of my activities, as she is involved in them. We both blog and chat online, but we don't hide any of these activities from each other.

Abby: Mr. Williams and I always share our Internet travels with one another. Honestly, there are days when I'm tired and I just don't want to know! But we are both short on time lately, and we try to "make the rounds" when we can, and fill each other in on what everybody's up to. We both have sites we tend to gravitate towards (though we both come here!), so it allows us a freedom to fill each other in on the whole of what's going on in the spankosphere.

Thanks to tabs, we also occasionally leave windows open for the other to find, be it featuring toys or a blog we haven't encountered before. I really do have the perfect partner for Internet adventures and otherwise. :-)

Anon: My husband knows I like spanking, but doesn't know I participate here or look at anything related to spanking, be it pictures, stories, etc. There are some times when I quickly push a button and open up something else or close Internet Explorer really fast so he doesn't find out. He already knows I like spanking (and sometimes does it), but I can't put my finger on why I don't want him knowing I blog here and look at the pictures I do.

C: My vanilla husband knows I read blogs. I have tried to get him interested in them as well to help him understand. He knows I like spanking. I do think if I had a blog, I would be hesitant to let him read. Reading others’ musings is different than reading mine. I would be embarrassed.

PM Duo: He knows that I read a lot of blogs and sometimes comment. He isn't really interested in on-line stuff, but I like to send him particularly interesting posts/articles, especially ones with new ideas! Someday, maybe I'll blog about spanking, but I think he probably wouldn't like that too much!

Daisy: My fiance knows I read this blog. I introduced it to him, as he was unsure whether it was right to spank me. It was a worryingly abusive practise to him. So I asked him to read Bonnie’s tutorials, and WOW, he became a wonderful HoH and disciplinarian within hours! Now he can't imagine any other way! I have a tendency to be bossy, and bratty, and cheeky, and sarcastic (need I go on?). As I explained to him, he could either be HoH or henpecked. LOL

He sometimes comments on these brunches, too, and once, after he had sent me to bed, I sneaked on here after saying goodnight to him, and posted a comment. Unfortunately, he also came on after saying goodnight to ME (it’s much earlier in the evening in the States) and saw I had JUST posted it. So, I got in trouble. Oops! I blame you, Bon, for being so addictively readable! But, yes, we are on a learning journey together. It’s great fun and verrrrry sexy!

MP and RPT: We sit side by side on identical twin iMacs surfing for spanko stuff, working, and chatting about what we are doing so it's next to impossible to keep anything secret.

Radagast: My wife, Sandy, and I met in the scene and are both active in it. We both have play partners (aside from each other) and are pretty much aware of every single thing the other does when it comes to spanking play.

PK: I didn't tell Nick when I first started reading. After I started my blog and I realized that he was reading it, I was a little upset - even though I had never tried to hide it. Now, I love that he reads it as well as most of my friends’ blogs.

As I go through my list each morning, I will nearly always find something I especially like and say "Don't forget to check out Bonnie or Eva" or someone else.

I really do not understand men who know that there wives have or read blogs on this topic and they do not read them themselves. Guys - You have a window into how your gal feels and thinks, what she wants and is willing to do. My feelings would be hurt now if Nick knew all that information was out here and just didn't bother to read it.

Can you imagine telling your spouse, "There is something that is so very important to me. It’s something that I need and want so badly, but it is very hard to tell you. Could you please read an article or two that explains it better than I can?" Now, really, if your spouse said that, can you imagine saying, "No thanks I don't want to bother." I would really be hurt.

Fanny: I think that without blogs, especially yours, I would still be unspanked! My journey into the spanko world began in the same way as many other accounts I have read. I Googled spanking, found a lot of scary stuff, and then found your site. From your links I found many other sane and fun blogs. Having articles that explained TTWD in a mature, intelligent way to share with my husband made it so much easier to come out to him.

I love sharing blog stuff I have found when Hubs gets home from work! Sometimes, it is still uncomfortable for me to discuss what I want or need openly, so I show him blog posts that do it for me! That approach makes it easier. Actually I think that at times, I might be "topping from the bottom," but ssshhh, we won't tell him that will we?

Greenwoman: Yes, my husband is aware of my blogging. In fact, sometimes he helps me pick music or Jiggles.

His response to it all is arousal. It enhances our intimacy.

Hermione: Even though I suggested today's topic, I seriously considered skipping brunch so I wouldn't have to reveal my guilty secret to you.

My husband knows I read spanking blogs and comment on them, and that I have a special email account for blogging correspondence. He no longer asks me "who's Bonnie?" or "what's a blog?" He enjoys the blogs with pictures when I send him links to posts I think he'll like, or leave one for him to see on our computer.

My husband doesn't know about the guest posts I have done here and on other blogs. Nor does he know that Hermione's Heart is my blog, or that thousands of readers know him as Ron.

It took me a while to feel comfortable with seeing my words in print on this blog. It took more time to make the decision to have my own blog, and getting used to that was quite an adjustment. I weighed the need to tell him everything against the need to do something that is extremely fulfilling, creative and therapeutic for me. Blogging is something I want to do and I couldn't risk being told I couldn't.

Ron has read a couple of my blog posts and liked them. They weren't ones that contained intimate details. I will probably need to seriously consider what the possibilities of telling him might be, then tell him when the time is right and I am prepared to suffer the consequences. He might be extremely angry, but then again, he might not even care. Or he might laugh and think it's silly.

I have never written anything on my blog that I would be ashamed to have Ron read. Embarrassed, maybe, but not ashamed. In fact, I think he might be pleasantly surprised at how highly I regard him, once he got over the initial shock.

Jessica: Before I "came out" and told him about my interests, my husband did not know I was lurking out here. When I told him, he started reading right away. Now he goes through and looks for my comments. Sometimes, he even goes on my profile on the PC and looks at my history to see what I am interested in. I see it as him doing research about what I like. That's a good thing!

Diesel Diva: My slowly converting vanilla husband doesn't have a clue about my internet activities. He did confess that he read a spanking blog the other day but doesn't know which one. He's becoming more open about spanking and tells me that I'm not weird and, according to the internet, obviously not alone. I'm hoping for LOTS more action in 3 weeks when OUR LAST CHILD MOVES OUT! (Hey, I'm not mean. He's 24, so it's time!) I'll be sharing more of my "secrets" at that time.

Terpsichore: My husband knows that I read out here and comment and that I have even shared a story or two. But he has not read as far as I am aware, though he glanced at a few things I printed. He is happy that I have found friends out here and I share stories with him. Someday, perhaps he will read...

Bonnie: Randy is generally aware of my internet activities. I typically provide more detail than he needs to hear. He claims that he only occasionally reads this blog, but I know better. All I need to do a make a passing reference about not being spanked for a while and I find myself abruptly upended within a matter of hours.

As for his web surfing, Randy’s tastes are different from mine. While words are my preference, he loves pictures. Realistic spanking photos are first in his heart, but in a pinch, almost any pretty woman will suffice. He often shows me his latest finds and seems puzzled when I fail to match his level of enthusiasm. Oh well. I don’t care whose digital images he collects, so long as he reaches for me when he seeks genuine human flesh.

Thanks to one and all for sharing your insights. I hope you will stop again for next week's brunch.

1 comment :

Anonymous said...

I must say I agree - a man who is interested in the womanly form is a good thing! I tease my husband by pointing out pretty, showy lovlies while we are out knowing that that interest will pay off for me later!

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