Monday, July 07, 2008

Keyword Chaos Retread

Once again, it's time to dig into those oddball phrases that somehow bring folks here to MBS.
  • spanking the wife - It sounds like a chore, as in "mowing the lawn"

  • midget spanking and sex - Short people are entitled to a little fun too

  • perfekt spanking - That's more than I can say for your spelling

  • caning pony girls bottoms - No, no, no! Get your fantasies straight. Use the cane for English schoolgirls. Ponies get the crop!

  • cyber spanking - The blog police are getting strict these days

  • how many spanks should be given when using a hairbrush? - That depends upon how you use it and what you hope to accomplish

  • painful spanking implements - In my experience, that would be most of them

  • wooden paddles spank - Paddles don't spank people. People spank people.

  • cowboy love spanking stories - Tarzan love bondage stories

  • crush on adam clayton - I'll bet they were confused when they arrived here

  • how often do you cane your wife - Or have you stopped beating her?

  • my husband darling honey boss powerful cruel instructed me - We need a scorecard to figure out all of the action in this query

  • pull down your pants and bend over - There's nothing like the direct approach

  • no way to sit without skirt - After you lose your skirt, it's a little late for modesty

  • adult foreplay punishment - So which is it?

  • automated machine discipline spanking fantasies - Asimov must be spinning about now

  • bare bottom in just the right place good for spanking - Wouldn't it be easier to simply bare the entire thing?

  • bound and spanked in diapers - Whatever, dude

  • butt-plug diy - There are some things that are better not made at home

  • canabulism in africa - That's a lot like what you do to the English language

  • dog style spanking - I'm picturing a lot of heavy mastication

  • eneama lady - I always liked that song, "Girl from Eneama"

  • f/m otk otk otk - Pressing the elevator call button multiple times will NOT make it arrive any sooner

  • federation for wobbly bottoms - Great Caesar's ghost! They've organized.

  • spanked by my husband dressed as a naughty schoolgirl - Who knew they made knee socks that size?

  • funny spanking porno doggy - This sounds like an adult variant of monkey-cam

  • getting someone spanking - For just $39.95, you can sent your favorite couple our famous spanko starter kit including paddle, crop, scented oils, and a blindfold

  • grab cheerleaders boobs - Not a good plan. Go back, sit down, and think some more

  • Hermione spanking story - I hope you're talking about the blogger and not the underage wizard

  • home made spankings - Doesn't it just make you feel all nice and toasty warm?

  • husband spanking wife slup - Try aiming for her bottom - it works much better

  • I am not lesbian but I fantasize about being spanked otk by older women - Do the letters T-M-I hold any significance for you? This is a search engine, not Dear Abby

  • I love bikinis - I have no doubt you look simply stunning in your Brazilian tanga.

  • lady godiva spank - Hey, don't mess with my chocolate connection!

  • master spank granny - You never know... Granny might just enjoy it

  • my bootm smarts - He's good at starting his computer

  • my bototm smarts - This sounds like a South Pacific island

  • my bottem smarts - Germanic perhaps?

  • my bottom msarts - It could be a little known Microsoft drawing program

  • my bottom msmarts - Obviously savoring the burn for one extra syllable

  • my nottom smarts - I think this must be the opposite of a bubble butt

  • open air forest bare bottom caning photo - Now that's what I call roughing it

  • paddled by boss instead of firing panties - Please, sir, don't fire my panties!

  • panties down arm of couch - What's this beneath the cushion? Why, it looks like someone's underwear!

  • panties down principal cheerleader - The principal needs to keep his panties up around the cheerleaders

  • perfect female celebrities being spanked - If they're perfect, what excuse is there to spank them?

  • photos of sexy girdles - Yet another oxymoron

  • pics de pantylines - Hunting the elusive telltale crease

  • red sore asses spanked - Once they're red and sore, no additional spanking is required

  • schoolgirl short skirt white cotton squirt - Why are these cotton balls all over the floor?

  • sorority initiation naked paddle - I actually never considered clothing a paddle, but it could be cute - sort of like a cross between a dog coat and a tea cozy

  • spank my butt London - and call me Duchess Sally

  • spanked by wife's lover - This sounds complicated

  • spanked with a strap on tape - I don't think that's what they usually strap on

  • spanked with wet bottom - OK, this might be the strangest implement ever

  • spanking adult discipline therapist wisconsin - Oh, those wacky cheeseheads!

  • spanking bloopers - Spanker's note to self: Don't apply oil with paddle hand

  • spanking clothes off - It's much easier to just pull them off

  • spanking curvy women in string bikinis - Yeah, in your dreams

  • spanking game hockey bottom - So which end of the stick do we use?

  • spanking with nylon panties down - Once they're down, it doesn't much matter what the panties are made from, right?

  • unconverted spanking positions - Say what?

  • virutal bottom spanking - Now available for the Wii

  • what is kinkier than BDSM? - Why, BDSM at the rodeo, of course

  • women wearing panties in mainstream movies - I imagine most of them do

  • my spanking inside panties - I'm sorry, but there's only room for one in here


Span King said...

I so look forward to the latest keyword chaos. Very very clever and extremely funny. Thank you for brightening the day.

Ellie said...

Oh this is hilarious. I am always amused by the keywords that I rack up but nothing like this! Maybe I need to post more about spankings ;)

Paul said...

Bonnie, very funny collection this time.
Warm hugs,

Thomas_III said...

Odd as it may sound, I've had the keywords "perfekt spanking" bring people to my blog, several times. I've just assumed that it was a Nordic or Germanic bastardization of English.

Hermione said...

"spanking the wife" - I really hate that 'the wife' stuff. The variations on 'my bottom smarts' were cute, though. That's how I type sometimes.

I see I got a mention too. No, I am definitely far from being under age.

Hermione (of legal spanking age)

Sherryl said...

"spanked by my husband dressed as a naughty schoolgirl" is she suppose to wear the outfit not him? Not sorry didn't want to resist.

Loved them.

Hermione said...

canabulism - OMG - I Googled that word and got pages of hits. Many people really spell it that way. I hope cannibalism is still the Canadian spelling.


Anonymous said...

Hi Bonnie,

This was pretty darned funny. I love your comments!


Anonymous said...

ROFLMAO!!! Girl From Eneama! Bonnie, you are priceless.

Aren't we lucky that idiocy is alive and well? Look at the mileage we get from it! -- Erica

Indiana said...

My favorites this time were "I don't think that's what they usually strap on" and BDSM at the rodeo. ROFL at *that* image!

Isn't it amazing that people provide you with so much fresh material every time?

Mr Nadz said...

Oh that was so good - I haven't cried that much this year! I had to bail out of this a third of the way through I was crying so much ... thank you! Shame I can't share this with my co-workers ;-)

Hans said...

Lot's of fun here, I always finds these things very amusing. However, I really like the idea of "clothing" a paddle... like a tea cozy or a mitten or something. I think I will perhaps ask my girlfriend to knit us one for our favourite one. If I ever get it made, pictures will be shown... :)

A.S.S. said...

lol... we got a hit for "midget spanking" too. Fun read, as always.

Todd & Suzy

Bonnie said...

SK - You're very welcome.

Ellie - You know we'd love to read about it!

Paul - Thank you.

Thomas - Nah, I chalk it up to the linguistically challenged.

Hermione - Nor are you a wizard, at least as far as we know...

Sherryl - As you see, I definitely can't resist.

Hermione - I'm still wondering how they ended up here. Regardless of the spelling, that's not a popular topic on this blog.

Greg - Thank!

Erica - I can't make up material as hilarious as what collects in my mailbox and my statistics.

Randy claims that as soon as they make a product idiot-proof, someone inevitably comes up with a better idiot. It is these *special* idiots to whom I am forever indebted.

Indiana - I think BDSM at the rodeo is a natural. Where else would you find so much leather?

I never cease to be amazed by the stuff that washes up on my little stretch of cyberbeach. I found all these gems in just seven days of keywords.

Mr. Nadz - I think the same thing about my co-workers. They would probably enjoy some of these gags, but they already think I'm a little unusual.

Hans - I totally want a knit paddle scabbard. It could display a clever saying such as "Remove for Warmth."

Todd & Suzy - Thank you!

spanking hero said...

very nice dictionary for us spanko's

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