It's a new year and we have a brunch topic unlike any we've considered before. I wish I could take credit, but this idea came from a loyal reader.
What references do you use to find accurate and clear information about adult spanking and related subjects? Web sites? Books? Magazines? On-line forums? Where would you direct someone who is new to this lifestyle or simply curious about spanking?
I would love to hear what you think and I hope you will add your voice to today's brunch discussion. To participate, you need only leave a comment below, send me an e-mail, or create a post on your own blog.
20 comments :
I am sure many potential spankos would search the web, for many people the web is the first port of call for information.
We do have a few books of a fictional nature on spanking, but mostly we look at the blogsphere for our information.
If I was offering advice to a newbie, I think I would tell them to ask Bonnie!
When I first decided that I wanted to share my life long fantasy with my husband several months ago I was so afraid what he would think and felt like there was something wrong with me and so I looked on the internet to research and found Bonnie's site...I have found this website and Bonnie to be so encouraging and helpful to me and also linked me to some other great sites...I now know I am not alone...and instead of being fearful and judging of myself for my desires I am embracing them and continue to return to this community for support, advice, to read everyone's comments and stories....I am forever grateful.
Hi Bonnie
I used to come here under another name, so though the name is new I have been a regular reader and sometime poster here for a while.
The web was the first place I looked too. Given that erotic spanking is our thing the discipline side scared me when I first started reading. Reading many different blogs helped with this and though we still don't include discipline I can see how it would work for others.
The tutorials on this site helped a great deal more for my lover than me, as it was me who asked him to spank me.
These days sites are used more as a way of getting ideas. *wink*
Hugs
Mina
Where would I direct them? To your site of course! You have some great information and fantastic stories, and so many commenters and readers, your site and several others would be where I would start them!
Carye
You have an interesting blog.
Ramius
Hi Bonnie and everybody! I'll jump on the bandwagon and say this is an excellent place to begin exploring the spanking blogosphere. It's one of the first spanking blogs I discovered, and the rest is history. :-)
A few non-blog recommendations, though:
When I was 18 and a freshman in college with private access to the Internet for the first time, I dove right into searching for spanking sites. I literally lived on Laura's Spanking Corner. It's a collection of stories that span everything from real life childhood recollections to schoolgirl stories to more sexy and/or mature scenarios. It's still there, and still very much recommended.
If one is looking for more visual exploration (of the non-blog variety), I'd recommend Northern Spanking. Yes, it's a pay site, but everyone involved is clearly having so much fun, even when the spankings are more severe, and it's the only place I've ever seen a caning that resulted in giggles. There's some stronger stuff, too, but never squicky, and many of the girls (such as Niki, Adele, and Amy, to name a few) have their own fantastic blogs as well.
Happy Spanking!
Abby
My take is that for general information, self-acceptance, learning from a wide spectrum of the spanking community and introducing spanking if you have a partner, MBS is the place to go.
For those of us who do not have partners, I would also recommend the Shadow Lane web site, especially the classic Stand Corrected, Jr. issues and Eve Howard's columns, which contain advice about dating and party etiquette and safety. The reader surveys also contain interesting information. For example, I was a little surprised (relieved) to learn that most women are not comfortable being marked, as much of what one reads (or especially watches) on the internet might give a different impression. Similarly, they report that half the male readership switch, while most of the female readership prefer a partner who doesn't. Of course, it's not possible to say how representative these surveys are. But most of the information available on the internet is by nature anecdotal, so it's nice to have a broader perspective.
Well Bonnie, If someone asked me, I would send them to the same place I started. Right here! Your real life stories, tutorials and brunches was every bit of information that I needed. Now if someone was looking for more of a DD site, I think I would send them to Cassie's blog to read real life accounts. I'm sure there are plenty. That's just one that I frequent.
Search the internet with words like spanked, discipline, strap, ect. Eventually I got lucky and found Creative Spanko Wench (Patty's site was by a different name orinially) I loved her storyies -- I eventually found Bonnie - and I would definately point people here now. I like journey to the darkside (padme is fun) Now when I have the time to explore further I link from MBS mostly. I find great links from your blog and it saves time weeding through the endless google lists.
If someone I knew wanted to really find out about a spanking lifestyle I would send them here or to New Beginnings.
*hugs and grins*
There are several i would recommend.Here Of course,New beginnings,Cassie's and Discipline and Desire.
Bonnie, I agree with most of your commenter's.
I actually started with CSW and from there to here.
If I'd been fifty years younger MBS would have been my first port of call.
When I first met Mel, well we worked it out.
Warm hugs,
Paul.
I would of course suggest here as well as Spanking Blog, and Auntie Agony as points of initial information about adult consensual spanking. In terms of a book for beginners I would suggest The Compleat Spanker.
Tom
Go confiently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you've imagined.
I have never found any real resources outside of the web. Prior to the internet, there was the occasional stray story with spanking in erotic story magazines. MBS is the best resource site I have found so far. There are also some interesting explanations on Wikipedia for BSDM. Who'd of thunk it?
-Jess
I just recently started finding information on spanking last fall and this site was the first site I happened across. I went through alot of the past posts, especially the tutorials to learn more. I also found the forum/storyboard on spankingclassics.com to be very helpful in finding more information about spanking. I got alot of info from there that helped me learn about spanking and well, lessen my nerves a bit since this was all new to me. Both this site & that one helped quite a bit in preparing me & making me feel more comfortable for my first spanking that I recently had.
So I would definitely recommend MBS and the other I mentioned in finding out more information, especially for a newbie
I've actually recommended your blog to several people, Bonnie! You have such fantastic info for newbies!
I also recommend my own website, especially if they're looking for spanking stories to show their significant other. I now it's a bit of shameless promotion, but what can I say?! LOL!
*hugs*
Paige
I started playing long before there was internet, in those days it was (books for info) and you had to have the courage to go and look in bookshops for these, then. To get info on what was going on in your country then it was magazines. It was a specialised magazine that published an artical on codes used in personal adds in vanilla publications that helped me find my first playmates, god life was hard then. Now, websites, blogs, if your prepared to look hard and long enough there is a lot of info out there, with the advantage that you can read about the same subject from many different veuw points.
For someone who is new to the lifestyle Firstly I would try to get in contact with an established group for advice and try to speak to somebody like yourself but more experienced, eg. a male top should try to get advice from an experienced male top, same for all tops, bottoms, men and women.
This may be unpopular but I really would recomend that a new comer goes to see an experienced and understanding proffesional for their first "hands on experience". It is expensive but you will have, at your first play a lot of experience and confidentiality available to you. This way you can avoid the problems that two inexperienced players may encounter and avoid playing with somebody who is less experienced than they say they are (it does happen, it has happened to me). Even for a newby couple, if you can't find a playgroup with lots of members see if you can see a professional for a little instruction.
Prefectdt
The person who made me most comfortable with my spanking interest and echoed how I felt was (and probably still is) Eve Howard especially in her various early analytic but very sensual writings.
I've always been very aware of spanking in a way, I would play games that involved it as a child, I would joke about it as a teenager, it's always sort of been there in my life. But it was only in the past year or so that I started to really seriously consider my position on spanking and S'n'M in a wider sense.
A friend sent me a link to the wikipedia entry on adult spanking one night, teasing me that "it sounds right up your street". I hadn't ever thought about searching for spanking online, and thankfully when I did, this lovely warm friendly blog appeared. If I'd wandered onto a hardcore site first I think I would have given the internet up and gone back to fanasising in my head. It's really nice to be able to read about spanking as part of a relationship, not just as an abstract concept or random picture. From reading this blog and exploring others off it, I've gained a fuller sense of what exactly my interests in this are (and aren't) and I've been able to articulate this, both to my boyfriend and to my curious friends. If any of them ever asked I would send them here, because not only is it one of the best blogs online, but it also has the most comprehensive list of links to others which makes exploring easier and probably safer.
OK, folks. I was totally not fishing for praise or plugs. But thank you anyway.
This blog, quite naturally, covers those aspects of spanking with which I am most familiar. Specifically, we tend to focus on erotic spanking in the context of a committed M/F relationship. I acknowledge that this is but one of many permutations. That is one reason why my blogroll is as inclusive as it is. I think every blog and web site listed has a message that will be valuable for some readers.
For example, I don’t have much to say about F/M relationships, but Mike does. Similarly, there isn’t much I can add to a discussion about playing at spanking parties, but Doc Tsai, Emmy or Cigi surely can. I have no first hand experience with GLBT or poly relationships, but other members of our community do. Randy and I don’t practice domestic discipline. Neither do we employ heavy bondage. But our spanko blogging friends have intimate knowledge of all these topics.
The point is that no one can be knowledgeable about all subjects. But the next best thing is knowing smart, generous people who willingly share their knowledge. From this perspective, community is the greatest resource of all.
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