Thursday, January 10, 2008

Common Threads: The Embarrassment / Fascination Paradox

During a recent e-mail conversation concerning the I Love Lucy clips, I was reminded of the contradictory and confusing feelings that came over me as a kid when I watched spankings depicted in popular TV shows. This didn't happen very often, but it was often enough that I paid close attention so as not to miss the next spanking reference.

During those 1960s programs, the word "spanking" was used in dialog fairly frequently. Even a passing reference was enough to make my pulse race. Occasionally, characters would talk about spankings they had received or would soon receive or were afraid they might receive. Sometimes, a noisy spanking would occur offstage. Other times, we would see only the aftermath (typically heartfelt contrition and difficulty in sitting).

Cartoons were chock full of spanking references and I sometimes watched purely in hopes of seeing one of "those cartoons." Looking back, I think that someone at Hanna-Barbara was a dedicated spanko. Tom and Jerry, in particular, included lots of swats.

The best, though, was when real characters received extended spankings on camera. These scenes provided the foundation for many of my favorite kinky fantasies.

I recall sitting on the floor in our den in front of a black and white console television. Other family members were in the room. When a spanking scene began, I felt simultaneously entranced and mortified. I was embarrassed because I feared my feelings must be obvious to everyone. In retrospect, I doubt anyone had any idea I was obsessed, or that someone could even take an interest in such a thing. I imagined that my face must be glowing as red as a freshly paddled posterior.

And yet... I couldn't take my eyes and ears away from the action on the screen. This was a spanking. It was a real spanking, or as real as anything on a TV program could be. This was what I had been waiting to see.

I wanted to stare, but I didn't want to be seen staring. I wanted to be sure to memorize every word and gesture, but I wanted to appear disinterested. How can one experience one of the high points of their adolescence while pretending nothing was happening? Such was the paradoxical life of spanko in training.

These became treasured memories and they remain so to this day. Like keepsakes, I would recall the images and words with fondness a hundred times over. In bed late at night, I would blend these recollections with my own vivid fantasies. The result was a desire, not just to watch, but to become an integral part of the action. I wanted to be the special one, the one who accepted this vigorous attention. I wanted a strong man to pull down my panties and spank me hard.

From these roots grew my passion for spanking and my desire to be spanked.


Jessica said...

Hi Bonnie,
Did you ever see "Good Times" in the 70's? Rog and Dwayne and Rerun? Rog got his butt beat with the belt a couple of times. They didn't show it but the idea of it was facinating.

Paul said...

Bonnie, looking back to the popular boys comics in the 40's and early 50's.
The Beano and the Dandy and possibly The Eagle, whether they were available your side of the pond, I have no idea.
It seems that most of the naughty children in these comics were spanked at least once per issue. This was well before television.
I know that I was a spanko by the age of ten.
It never occurred to me that the comics might have influenced me.
I think spanking children was so much part of the culture when I grew up, that no one gave it a second thought.
Warm hugs,

Anonymous said...

I knew there was one I,L,L, spanking, but not all those others, Must have caused her some sitting problems, as they were quite firm swats.
Have you ever thought of doing a bit on spanking games - someone gets spanked as a penalty for loosing ?

Sara said...

I remember similar moments Bonnie, the pull and the embarrassment, the secret fascination from an early age. What I did not realize is that not everyone feels that!
Interesting. I wonder how non-spankos did feel? I loved the I Love Lucy clips btw! Sara

Hermione said...

Bonnie, I couldn't add a single thing to what you have said. This is really a twin moment for me.


Indiana said...

Jessica, I was thinking rather wistfully that TV in the 60's must have provided much better fodder for the young spanko than it did in the 70's, but, oh, boy, do I remember one of the Good Times scenes you mention! As I recall, the pre-spanking scene ended as his mother made him hand over his own belt for the task. Uh, yep, fascinating. :-)

Great series of posts, Bonnie-- thanks!

Curtis said...

I'm older than some people here, so my time for all of this was the 40s and 50s when spankings were in several comics regularly, more than a few movies, more than a few movies and talked about,threatened consummated by various family members, friends and teachers and recalled by the recipients and observers. All of which were received by this young spanko with intense but furtive stimulation. Those, perhaps, were the days which led us to these days

Anonymous said...

This made me feel rather unfortunate that I did not grow up in those decades, but there was still quite a bit of spanking on tv in my childhood. Not only was I convinced that my facination was weird and wrong, but that I was also the only one who felt that way. If I was watching tv or a movie with another family member, I always had an excuse to get out of the room when spanking references appeared (bathroom, snack etc.) so that they wouldn't notice my thoughts, I guess. I still remember being home alone and trying to find those scenes again so that I could watch without the awkwardness of my family. Thank you for the wonderful post!
-Lavender T.

Faith said...

Fantastic post! I also remember seeing spanking scenes with my family and needing an excuse to leave the room. As badly as I wanted to see the scene, I was sure my interest was obvious. I still remember seeing the movie Tank on tv sitting with my brother and father. The scene where the girl is strapped with a belt happened so quickly I couldn't get out of the room in time. I'm sure my face was completely red.

Anonymous said...

Bonnie, you spoke for me this time, truly. I grew up with all those shows and cartoons and so forth as well, and remember the butterflies and squirminess I felt when I would see one of THOSE scenes. And I'd be mortified, thinking people could read my thoughts. If only I'd known there were thousands of others feeling the same way!

Oh, and not to be too obnoxious, but the show with Dwayne and Rerun was What's Happening!, not Good Times. But there were spanking references and threats on Good Times, too. :-) -- Erica

Anonymous said...

I remember watching Lucy get spanked while watching TV with my parents, and it wasn't a big deal at all. However, I do recall going watching the movie 'Tank' with my mother and my aunt... and the embarrassment/fascination paradox thing was very-very much in play there.

Todd (and Suzy)

Lori said...

Tank has a great belt spanking scene. The first time I saw that movie I was with my husband and felt no embarrassment. Another time it was going to be on, I wanted to watch it really bad but I was going to be with family. I turned the tv on when it was time and everyone was watching it. I had to leave during the spanking scene. I heard everyone else saying, "wow, she's really getting her butt beat". I came back in the room and said "oh really?" as if I hadn't seen the movie before. The next time it was on, I taped it. I think I still have that tape.

Terpsichore said...

At first I wasn't remembering any references...perhaps I was in denial because at the time I watched anything involving spanking I was probably mortified and embarrassed by the fact that I was secretly intrigued but did not yet understand why. Thanks for bringing back memories...I think I only watched What's Happening a few times but I do remember one of spanking episodes and I clearly remember watching Tank and blushing...I had forgotten the name of the movie but never forgot that scene! :-) Best wishes, Terpsichore

Anonymous said...

What television shows/episodes do you remember most vividly?

Jessica said...

You're right, It was What's Happening LOL.


Bonnie said...

Jess - I remember the show, but not the spankings. How did I miss that?

Paul - I know childhood influences definitely fueled my desires, both then and now.

Anon - I think I've written before about our version of spanking Trivial Pursuits. It's fun, but it's not entirely fair because only one player ever gets spanked. :D

Sara - I assume the vanillas thought very little about spankings on TV. But, of course, I would have no way of knowing!

Hermione - I wonder how many of us thought we were the only ones in the world who possessed this peculiar interest? We may have been alone then, but we certainly aren't today. I'm grateful for the technology to connect with so many like-minded friends.

Indiana - The 50s and 60s were definitely the golden age of spanking on television. By the seventies, it was mostly gone. I know I definitely missed seeing it!

Curtis - Your analysis certainly matches up with my experience, but there is an interesting counterpoint perspective. Even though spankings in the media virtually dried up beginning in the late sixties, plenty of younger people are spanking enthusiasts. From this, we might conclude that there must be some other spanko factor, be it environmental or innate.

I don't know the answer, but it's fun to speculate.

Lavender - You're very welcome. I think these feelings are familiar to many of us.

Faith - Thanks! I remember that scene as well.

Erica - Yes, we had no concept that we weren't entirely alone in our strange interest. I can only imagine what might have happened had I friends with whom to compare notes in those early years.

I do remember those '70s sitcoms, but somehow I missed all of the spanking.

Todd (and Suzy) - That movie scene seems to strike (!) a resonant chord with a lot of spankos. I'll have to see if it's available on YouTube.

Lori - I'll admit to taping a few favorite scenes back in the days of VHS. Being able to watch those spankings over and over and in slow motion was a real revelation.

Terpsichore - We all seem to carry these memories, don't we?

Anon - Well, I'd certainly start with the ones we've been discussing. I'd add to that some of the memorable cartoons. I especially loved the Flintstones episode where Wilma and Betty got paddled at the Water Buffalo lodge. Not only did they absorb multiple hard swats, they stood around later and discussed the aftereffects!

Jim said...

I had similar experiences in childhood. Here in England, there was a police drama series called Z-Cars. In one of the episodes the cops were taking evidence from a teen-age victim of a sexual predator. The show went out at 7pm, perhaps with that in mind, the writers used a spanking as a metaphor for the sexual assault:

"He said 'You've been a very naughty girl and what you need is a good spanking.' He then put me over his knee and spanked me."

Other members of my family were also viewing, seemingly impassively. However, for me, the words had the startling effect, familiar to all who have contributed to this thread.

Interesting metonomy adopted by the writer of the episode, eh? I believe it goes to the heart of our condition as spankos i.e. for us, spanking signifies the sexual act.

Jon said...

Amazing reading this - completely. Wish I'd read this before the mini-essay I just posted on my blog which is also partly about literary, TV etc spankings encountered in childhood.

I find you can't match the excitement of encountering it unexpectedly by finding it on YouTube, more's the pity...

Southern Expat said...

I enjoyed this post, Bonnie. I know that attraction/revulsion duality well!

I grew up in the 80s, and I think there were still some spankings depicted in TV and movies. I'm trying to think of a particular example without success, though. Being a bookish kid, I remember the spanking scenes from classic novels more than from the tube.

When I was in college, one of my professors showed the Chinese film Farewell, My Concubine. Do you know this one? I nearly had a heart attack in front of the class. (I hesitate to mention this film, for fear that bottoms across the land will be facing sword-wielding tops!)

"Spank a Yankee"

MissyH said...

It's fascinating to read that many of the posters have such strong, vivid recollections of a ten second spanking scene viewed just once forty or fifty years ago.

I was born in the late 70's so I feel a bit cheated. But I've actually recorded shows I would never dream of watching otherwise
because I saw an ad for it promising spanking content; that's so rare these days. A couple of years ago an otherwise dreary sitcom called Yes,Dear promised this, and to give them their due they actually delivered the goods. I hadn't been too optimistic when programming my dvd, since I've been fooled too many times. I remember ages ago a Major Dad commercial promised a little CP and since the character was a Marine I thought he might actually go through with it. I remember the offense: his little stepdaughter had taken his Purple Heart medal out to play without permission, -and lost it! Whoa. The episode was all tease, because he delivered the
stern lecture about taking stuff
that doesn't belong to her, got her bent over the coffee table, drew back his hand decisively, and then . . . wimped out because she was so little, cute and defenseless.

Whaat!! And you call yourself a marine? You got her Mom to agree,
the kid was compliant and not fussing, so what's your problem?? And what about all of the cute little defenseless spanko kids who were watching and waiting at home, like me? Let your wife spank you then, but give us something! LOL

The Yes Dear episode, in contrast, was a triumphant 22 minute paean to spankophilia. Lovingly preserved and treasured by me. The four adult characters debated it endlessly, two pro, two con, nice balance and then they actually followed through. As a sop to liberal sensibilities (I'm liberal myself, btw, about most things, but not this) the father felt rotten afterward, but I felt too good to care. And the spanking
was in the middle of the episode, not during the last ten seconds, so it was endlessly rehashed afterward, too.

Indeed, they even threw in a comical second bonus adult spanking! Now that is quality television. The annoying whiny Dad was pestering for details,"How hard did you hit him? Jeans are pretty thick, so he probably
couldn't even feel anyth . . ." and then the exasperated 'guilty' father obliged with demonstration, resulting in annoying Dad's wailing indignant retreat.

While the end credits rolled we saw one of the moms (who'd been opposed) folding laundry while enthusiastically singing Baby got Back, which leads viewers to conclude that she was only opposed to spanking children . . . lol

Anonymous said...

I am behind on my blog reading..but this post almost could have come from my own living room in the 60's! The Gidget spanking scene is one that I played over and over in my mind. Like you, I would build on the scene in my mind..and I would become part of the action!

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