I originally had another question slotted for this week, but I had a last minute change of heart. I'm pleased that a number of readers enjoyed my spanko manifesto. When I wrote it last night, I was freshly swatted and full of energy.
One regular contributor mentioned to me that Eve Howard, a writer who I deeply admire, had recently penned a journal entry where she expressed her dislike for the term "spanko." I haven't read the article and it appears to be no longer available to the general public, but I find this a very interesting point of view. Perhaps I'm slow, but it hadn't occurred to me that this fun little word could be offensive to anyone, let alone to the very woman whose picture I would otherwise place next to the definition.
I won't try to debate the merits of the article, since I haven't read it. However, this is certainly a worthy question for our brunch.
What do you think about the word spanko? Do you feel it's derogatory? If so, what word or phrase would you prefer? Do you consider yourself a spanko?
If you would like to add your thoughts to our discussion, you may leave a comment below, send me an e-mail message, or post a response on your own blog. Once everyone has provided their input, I will publish a summary.
22 comments :
Hi Bonnie :)
I use the work spanko a lot and I don't think there is anything derogatory about it. I assume it is a shortened form of spankophile. I don't know what word you could use to replace it since it is one of the few words that can refer to both the spanker and the spankee and both sexes.
I am proud to be a spanko and loved your Manifesto. 0:-)
I like the word spanko! It gives me something easy to say when I talk about it! Now my husband doesn't like being called Vanilla but that is another story! :-)
Carye
I, too, am proud to be a spanko and take no offense. However, I do think that perhaps there might be a tendency, especially amongst "vanilla" or non-spankophile types, to use that to define us as individuals...
I HATE labels... all labels. But I don't see "spanko" as a label... I see it more as an adjective, kinda like saying I'm a redhead... it is just a PART of who I am, but it IS a part of me... and I'm proud of it!
Hugs,
Tiggs
I did see her article and pretty much have to agree, and I think the term spankophile or the lengthier 'spanking enthusiast' just sounds classier.
:-)
Dave
I like the full spankophile better - but I don't really care. It is simply terminology to me. Yet, I guess the downside to termonaloy the term can then be a label - and thus disliked. Adjective or noun? A description or a label?
I like the term spanko it gives instant identity to those of us who enjoy a paticular activity, that isn't always so simple to explain. I also very much enjoyed and agreed with your well written Manifesto!
Sally
Spanko it is for me. Spankophile sounds negative to me. Spanking enthusiast is okay however it's too many syllables for my simple mind. Spanko sounds fun, energetic, positive. I will be a spanko till the day I die.
hugs~
Eva
Nothing wrong with the word. Any of those listed in these replies are good, too. Your manifesto was the best outline of what I and many of us feel about ourselves -- but it took a long time and probably the Internet for us to be comfortable with ourselves.
Curtis
Bonnie, Mel and I were spanko's as were Mel's parents. It's a partial description, tall, brown hair, blue eyes, spanko.
It's a very inapt label as there are a great variety of us.
Warm hugs,
Paul.
I just read the manifesto and today's brunch topic, together. I'd be a signer of the manifesto and embrace the term "spanko." Sexually descriptive words ending in "phile" evoke the creepy to me, and "spanking enthusiast" seems dowdy and frumpy, too akin to "vintage car" or "hooked rug" enthusiast. Spanking is fun, it's foreplay, it's a connection heightener between a couple - spanko captures the essence, IMO. Scout
I also don't like spankophile. Most words with "phile" are negative terms....such as pedaphile. I also don't think of discipline when I hear "spanko". I Think toys, play and fun. It's a new word to me as I have only found these sights about five weeks ago.
KJ
As I said in the introduction, it never occurred to me that anyone would find offense in this little word. To me, it's light, easy, useful, and fun.
A spanko is anyone with an interest in adult spanking. It's inclusive because it makes no distinction about role, gender, or degree of involvement. There are plenty of synonyms, and I've probably used them all at various times, but none work as well or flow as easily off my fingertips.
Labeling is always an issue, but that concern applies to any term we select.
Spankophile sounds a little too academic to my ear. Spankophilia, the root word, seems like something for which people might seek treatment (and that's the last connotation we want!). Spanking enthusiast certainly works, but it's longer, conveys no additional information, and fails to express the element of fun.
As you might have gathered from the manifesto, I am a spanko to my very core. I'm proud to be called a spanko and delighted to associate with friends who consider themselves spankos.
I am a spanko. Spankophilia is just one of many paraphilias I heartily endorse.
If you are interested in the other paraphilias I find interesting, please visit http://spanco.blogspot.com/2007/05/paraphilia.html for a list.
Very Best Regards,
SelfSpanker
I used to say I was a freak so yes I like spanko better and am glad I heard it here.,
-teresa
I like spanko - the only reason I added the "e" on the end of my blogger ID is that one day whilst pondering the enigmas of the universe I realized that if you mix the letters of the nearest city up, they spell Spankoe (have fun now, all you word puzzle fans). What could be a more appropriate nickname for a spanko?
We like the term spanko. The phrase "spanking enthusiast" works too, but it's obviously longer. Spanko is a quick way to convey to other spankos what you're talking about... much like the more specific words spankee and spanker.
Obviously if you need to be more detailed, or you're speaking to someone outside the community... more words will be needed. But spanko works quite well with its limited goal of expressing a general enjoyment of consensual adult spanking practices.
Agree too about "phile" being a little too clinical sounding... as if perhaps a cure is needed.
:)
I love words. They fascinate and delight me (Ms. Spankoe from Spokane) probably finds the same joy.
So, yeah spanko is just a word. It can have any meaning we choose to attach to it. The first time I encountered the word spanko my gut reaction was how much it made me think of those awful childhood words:: 'weirdo, wacko, sicko or psycho.' I was new to my exploration and it took me a long time to understand it wasn't a negative term. It still makes me cringe when I read it.
I have no suggestions for a new word or phrase. Spanko works because it has been embraced positively by many people.
I'm not particularly fond of the word 'blog' either, yet I use it. I guess that's the beauty of language.
ciao bella~
CeeCi
*kewl*... I didn't just lurk today!
"phile" is a common term used in chemistry, meaning to like or to be attracted to; as in hydrophilic is a molecule attracted to water - usually because it has a like nature. It is unfortunate that many people find it associated with being negative. So in pure scientific terms spankophile describes those that like or are attracted to spanking perfectly.
I never gave it much thought actually. I suppose that since I love spanking, I must indeed be a
"spanko," though I never use the word to describe myself or my hubby. I don't think it's derogatory, though.
*hugs*
Paige (Tigger)
Spanko is a wonderful all-inclusive word. Be certain to add it to your dictionary whenever the word is underlined in red. Thus, we have invented a great word.
bottoms up
mike
Spanko says it all. I agree with everyone else who thinks spankophile is a derogative sounding term. To me spanking enthusiast is also somewhat strange sounding. Too generic maybe? I am a spanko, plain and simple, and I like it like that!
In this case, I respectfully disagree with Eve. I use it all the time, and I think it works perfectly. It's unisex, too. And I don't associate it with "sicko" or "whacko."
Spanking enthusiast is perhaps a classier term, but spanko rolls off the tongue more easily. :-) -- Erica
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