Saturday, April 21, 2007

OK, Uh, Never Mind...

I was at work yesterday, sitting in my cubicle and minding my own business. I had a project to complete by the end of the day. I was finding it rather difficult to concentrate because it was Friday afternoon at the end of a long week and the weather outside was beautiful.

My co-worker picked that moment to drop by for a chat. Gwen has been there maybe two months. She's in her mid-thirties, never married, and has no kids. She's a friendly person who always seems to have a lot to share.

We got to talking about weekend plans. Gwen said that she and her boyfriend were hosting another couple on Saturday night. I was politely smiling and nodding until she blurted out that they were all going to play the Cornhole Game.

At the sound of these words, my mind was immediately racing. I envisioned two-on-two nasty pillow-chomping anal sex! My next thought was that you sure can't judge people by first impressions. I then wondered if they managed to work spankings into this little game. It seemed a natural extension to me.

"Oh, don't you know about Cornhole?" Gwen inquired, no doubt picking up my puzzled expression.

"Er, I guess I don't." I mumbled. A second later, I decided that it might be best to save this conversation for a less public venue. But it was too late.

"I'm from Cincinnati. Everybody plays it there. It's great."

By now, I was completely dumbfounded. I listened in amazement.

"The Cornhole board is a sheet of plywood with a small hole cut in one end. The object of the game is to score points by tossing beanbags through the hole."


"Right. They were originally filled with corn, but any kind of beanbag works. It's so much fun!"

"Yeah, it sounds like it." I don't know if I was blushing, but I easily could have been. I felt so stupid.

"Maybe you and Randy could come over sometime for Cornhole. It's really easy." She seemed enthusiastic about that prospect.

"Yes, maybe we could."

"So what are you two planning for the weekend?"

By this time, I was determined to not out myself any further. "Oh, nothing special," I replied in a deadpan tone.

"Well, I hope you have a good time doing it." Gwen was still bubbling with Cornhole-inspired eagerness.

"I'm sure we will..."


Anonymous said...

:-) Well that's about as funny as they come!

luna said...


The game has huge popularity here in Iowa, where it's rumored to have begun. Wow, not sure I want to say that I'm from Iowa now. *sigh* Oh well. If it has to do with corn or named after corn, it's likely it is a Midwest invention.


Anonymous said...

LOL, Bonnie!!!


AnonVII said...

That's right up there with the supposedly true story about the young boy who asked his father where he, the boy, came from. The father, after a moment's pause, decided it was time to tell him about the proverbial birds and bees.

Upon his completion of the spiel, his son then replied, "Oh, all right. I was just wondering. You see, Joe, this new boy in my class, came from California."


Angel said...

Isn't it great how our minds work. We hear something completely innocent, and we change it to fit our fantasies. I'm sure we've all had moments like that, so you're not alone, Bonnie.

swan said...

Yes... here in Cincinnati, everyone learns to play "Cornhole" as soon as they can walk. It does take you by surprise the first time you hear it, but no one here seems to think a thing about it. If you react strangely to it, they just know that "you aren't from around here, are you?"


Paul said...

Bonnie, I wonder how long is a session, does it get very exciting.
Can you play it in bed?
Warm hugs,

CeeCi said...

I would have been thinking the same thing! So, when do we get your version of the game? I was thinking you could call it "Pornhole" then realized it's real name says just about the same thing!

Were you as red as your background? Lordy, I'm gonna chuckle over this one the rest of the day.

ciao bella~

Jujubees said...

*LOL* - Way to keep your cool under such "interesting" circumstances, be sure to let us know if you ever go over to play cornhole!

New Beginnings said...

Really wouldn't it have been fun to tell her how you and Randy plan to spend your weekend while she tosses a bag of something through a hole in plywood. LOL! We spanko can dream can't we??


Meg said...

Hello. I'm AnonVII's other half.

I had a similar reaction the first time a very straight-laced (and doubtlessly vanilla) neighbour told me of her plans for a game of "Bunko" at a party that evening.

"You're going to play WHAT?" I replied in what surely was almost a scream, more of disbelief than of shock. You've three guesses as to what I thought she said, and the first two don't count!


emmy said...

I am still laughing, very very funny, Bonnie. I never heard of this game either, but being from New Jersey I am not living in corndom, so I guess it's understandable. We played "kick the can" and "half ball." I guess both could be funny too if thought of in a kinky context. Tell me, were you able to get your mind around work after that conversation?

Raheretic said...

So, why not reciprocate. You could go visit them for a Saturday night session of cornhole. Then you could have them over for one of those neat poker and dice combo spanking games.

Could make for even more intriguing water cooler talk.

BTW, we are in Cincinnati and we've played spanking games with friends and have never resorted to "cornhole," although I know we are a minor and deviant minority.


Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you've imagined.

Bonnie said...

Anon - It sure is funny in retrospect. At that moment, though, I felt embarrassed for reasons I couldn't even explain.

Luna - I have to tell you. It was a revelation for me.

Tigger - Oh, I'm laughing NOW!

Anon VII - It's a lot like that! LOL

Angel - Not only am I not alone, I chocolatize innocent objects, words, concepts, and situations all the time!

Swan - As I wander through this life, I learn something new every day. Thanks for explaining.

Paul - I don't know about the original Cornhole, but my imaginary version can definitely be played in bed!

CeeCi - I'm sure my face was quite red. I was so trying to be on my very best socially acceptable behavior for work.

But I'm still amused.

JuJu - I kept myself from blurting out something dumb, but I'm not sure I would say I kept my cool.

As for actually playing, can you imagine what would happen if I asked Randy whether he wanted to play Cornhole? Even if I could keep my mouth shut, he would simply have to comment. I can just hear it now. "How's your cornhole, Bon?" I know better.

PK - The less my co-workers learn about our love life, the better I like it. I could be wrong, but my read is that they just wouldn't understand.

Meg - Hi! It's a pleasure to meet you. Welcome to MBS.

As I say, I constantly chocolatize ordinary situations and objects. For example, when I recently overheard someone use the phrase "crop rotation," I immediately envisioned a drum major twirling a riding whip!

Emmy - To be honest, I was a bit unnerved for quite a while. But I knew I had a good blog post!

Tom - How about the best of both worlds - spanko Cornhole? A game like that could really catch on, especially in Cincinnati!

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