Recap: MBS Sunday Brunch for August 13

A special thank you to everyone who contributed their thoughts to this week’s brunch.

Our topic dealt with spanking outside our primary relationship. Here are your responses:

Curtis: During most of the first part of my life, from grade school until a few years out of college, I played spanking games and had only one committed relationship where spanking was a part. I've had two marriages, one short and one long. During the first marriage, which did not include spanking, I found spanking outlets outside of marriage. These did not involve sex. My second wife played spanking games during courtship, while we lived together, and through one year of marriage. Then she announced she didn't like it. But a child was on the way, so we hung in together in an almost sexless marriage for 20 years. About four years before it ended, we both sought other companionship. Hers was conventional and failed. Mine included spanking and led to a torrid four-year affair from which I had not the slightest desire to stray. But that relationship broke up about the same time as my marriage and now I am back to playing and assaying the field.

If my primary relationship doesn't include spanking, I will seek something else. Should I have the joy of a committed relationship which includes spanking, I will be either fully monogamous or get involved with my significant other's consent and participation.

Paul: From ages seventeen until twenty-two, I had four relationships which included some fun spanking, nothing painful or too serious. Then I met Mel. She was a school girl and I was a soldier, it didn't seem possible that I was in love with a fourteen year old, but it happened. We soon discovered that we had a lot in common. Mel was fascinated with the idea of being spanked and I had been a spanko since early childhood.

We realised we were meant for each other and I married Mel on her eighteenth birthday. That same day, we signed a DD and D/s contract, which I still have. I was totally faithful to Mel as she was to me. I have never spanked another woman as she has never been a sub or anything else to another man.

Eva: I have never nor would I ever get involved in any sexual and/or spanking relationship with someone other than my husband. The topic does however make for some awesome fantasies. I just couldn't do it.

Anon: I haven't, but I won't lie and say I haven't been interested. Along with the regular thoughts that run along the line of "Man, she'd look good with a nice red bottom," there's been the occasional bitch out of whom I would much appreciate the chance to spank all of her bitchiness.

Mary: I love that my primary relationship is a spanking relationship. When my primary relationships did not include spanking, I attempted to introduce it. My mild attempts fell hard and I really didn’t consider straying in any of the cases. I did, however, spank myself on occasion. Now that I can experience the fun of spanking within a relationship, I don't think I could have a happy, monogamous relationship if it didn't include spanking. I don't have any desire, fantasy or otherwise, to play with a different partner. However, I can imagine that if there were ever a situation where we were friends with another couple that enjoyed spanking I MIGHT consider some pseudo-public discipline in front of another couple. But I don't desire anyone’s hands on my bottom except for my sweet's precious hands.

Elis: No. My husband is going to be my one and only when it comes to spanking and sex. But when I see a good looking guy I always think to myself, “I wonder if he spanks?”

Todd and Suzy: Expanding our spanking play to include another person(s) is something we've talked about. We're aware of spanking parties, both large and small, and it intrigues us. As would spanking in a more private setting.

Suzy is somewhat new to spanking. She'd never been spanked before we started our relationship five years ago. She's interested in both experiencing how someone else spanks and she'd like to see me spank someone else.

She also would like to *give* a spanking. But since she has no desire to spank me (Todd), and since I have no desire to be spanked, this is something she'd need someone else's bottom to do.

As for me, I've have been involved in spanking for some time, and have spanked outside a "primary relationship." That is to say, I've spanked someone I wasn't in a relationship with (nor was I in any relationship at all, at the time). I enjoyed giving those spankings quite a bit.

So, allowing spanking play to expand to outside the relationship would be new for both of us. We're both extremely secure in our relationship though, and we both are very open minded. We can separate "play" time, from the things that make us a couple in love.

Tigger: I've been spanked consensually by two men. One was obviously my beloved Dante. But before him, I was involved extramaritally (for both of us) with a true sadist, in every sense of the word. Oddly enough, that was my introduction into the real world of spanking, though I'd fantasized about it since my early teen years (I was spanked severely as a child, too... most unpleasant memories).

Anyway, I don't know how Dante and I have managed to save my spanko lust considering all of the trauma I've experienced, but I'm constantly awed and grateful.

SuZQ: Truthfully, the only spankings I have participated in were outside a committed relationship. Most of them were when I was much younger (and single). But even though I tried for years to encourage it (even posed bottom up on the bed one time with his belt across my ass), my now-ex-husband would never oblige my desires in the 25+ yrs we were married. I definitely have one coming!

My next committed relationship will include spanking because I don't intend to live the rest of my life without it. But until then, I'm considering a spanking partner, maybe a mentor/mentee-type relationship. I'll just have to see what comes along. Wish me luck!

Cassie: I own a Jaguar. I’m not dreaming of switching to a Vega!

Tigger Too: I hadn't even given that question much thought until a spanko friend asked me if I'd ever thought about getting spanked by another woman. At first, I was suprised, but then I began to get a tingle of excitement. I couldn't seem to stop thinking about her spanking me!

I talked to my hubby about it, asking him what he thought, and if he would be okay with it, and he was just as excited by the idea of watching my friend spank me as I was! Now, I can't wait for her to put me over her knee!

Bella: All of my spanking activities are outside my primary relationship. They all occur in my secondary relationship. Outside that, I don't have much interest in casual spankings.

I do have an interest, though I'm not sure I'd call it a fantasy, to experience the submissive viewpoint with a female Dom. It's something that I believe will happen at some point in the future.

Jean Marie: I'd love to get involved with a woman to switch with, outside of my relationship with Kyle. It would have to get sexual, seeing how aroused I get with anything spanking-related, which would be new for me, too. I think about it often.

Bonnie: For Randy and me, spanking is sex. We're not inclined to share it with others.

With that said, I have all sorts of wild fantasies that involve lots of improbable spankers and situations. I'm quite certain that Randy possesses more than his share as well. I doubt most of these scenarios will advance much beyond the fantasy stage, but even as such, they serve to inspire our roleplaying fun.

Mija: Yes, I've played with people apart from Pab, both before he and I got together and since. Likewise, my partner has played with other people, though geography and personality have combined to make that more limited. There are some dangers to playing with other people when you're in a committed relationship, but mostly it's been a great experience and we've both been happy for the other person.

For the longer answer, see my blog entry for today. :)

See you next time!

Keywords: spanking, monogamy, spanko brunch