Sunday, August 13, 2006

MBS Spanko Brunch #30


Many readers wrote to encourage me to keep alive our wonderful brunch tradition. I couldn't imagine disappointing you. So here we go...

For many of us, spankings occur in the context of a committed relationship. This arrangement, however, is but one of many possible alternatives. This week's topic examines our views of spankings, monogamy, and relationships.

Have you participated in spanking activities outside your primary relationship? If so, how did you feel about the experience? What was your partner's reaction? If not, have you any desire, real or fantasy, to play with a different partner?

I invite you to share your thoughts and insight. To participate in our brunch, please leave a comment below, send me an e-mail, or post a response on your own blog. Once everyone has submitted their responses, I will publish a summary of the discussion.

By the way, Randy and I are having fun and doing great! At this moment, my bottom is pink, my heart is light, and I just can't lose this silly grin.

16 comments :

Curtis said...

During most of the first part of my life -- from grade school to a few years out of college, I played spanking games and had only one committed relationship within which spanking was a part. I've had two marriages, one short and one long. Within the first marriage which did not include spanking, I found spanking outlets outisde of marriage which did not involve sex. My second wife played spanking games during courtship, when we lived together and through one year after we were married when she announced she didn't like it. But a child was on the way and we hung in together in an almost sexless marriage for 20 years. About four years before it ended (about two years ago), we both sought other companionship -- she conventional which failed; me something including spanking which led to a four-year torrid affair and from which I had not the slightest desire to stray. But that broke up about the time of my marriage and now I am back to playing and assaying the field. Which is, to answer the question, if the primary relationship doesn't include spanking, I will seek something else. And I would, should I have the joy of a committed relationship which includes spanking, be either fully monogamous or involve with my significant other's consent and participation.

Paul said...

Bonnie, from seventeen until twenty-twoI had four relationships which included some fun spanking, nothing painful or too serious. Then I met Mel, she was a school girl and I was a soldier, it didn't seem possible that I was in love with a fourteen year old, but it happened.
We soon discovered that we had a lot in common, Mel was fascinated with the idea of being spanked and I had been a spanko since early childhood.
We realised we were meant for each other and I married Mel on her eighteenth birthday. That same day we signed a D D & D/s contract, which I still have, I was totally faithful to Mel as she was to me. I have never spanked another woman as she has never been a sub or anything else to another man.
Thanks Bonnie we thought that you were going to away for longer than this.
Hugs,
Paul.

Eva said...

I have never nor would I ever get involved in any sexual and/or spanking relationship with someone other than my husband. The topic does however make for some awesome fantasies. I just couldn't do it. Nice to see you, btw. You're sorely missed.

Anonymous said...

I haven't, but I won't lie and say I haven't been interested. Along with the regular thoughts that run along the line of "Man, she'd look good with a nice red bottom", there's been the occasional bitch who I would much appreciate the chance to spank all of her bitchiness out of her.

Mary said...

I love that my primary relationship is a spanking relationship. When my primary relationships did not include spanking I did attempt to introduce it - but my mild attempts fell hard and I really didnt consider straying in any of the cases - although I did spank myself on occation. Now that I can experience the fun of spanking within a relationship - I don't think I could have a "happy" monogomous if it didn't include spanking. I don't have any desire, fantasy or otherwise to play with a different partner. HoweverI can imagine that if ever in a situation where we were friends with another couple that enjoyed spanking I might (big MIGHT - hard to know what is pure fantasy vs really something to try) would entertain some psuedo "public" discipline in front of another couple - but I don't desire any ones hands on my bottom except for my sweet's precious hands.

New Beginnings said...

No, my husband is going to be my one and only when it comes to spanking and sex. But when I see a good looking guy I always think to myself -- I wonder if he spanks?

Great to have you back, even on a limited basis!

Elis

A.S.S. said...

Thrilled to see you're still doing Sunday brunch during your vacation. Too bad you lost your bet with Randy... he should have given you odds!

Your topic this week is very interesting. Expanding our spanking play to include another person(s) is something we've talked about. We're aware of spanking parties, both large and small... and it intrigues us. As would spanking in a more private setting.

Suzy is somewhat new to spanking. She'd never been spanked before we started our relationship (5ish years ago). She's interested in both experiencing how someone else spanks... and, she'd like to see me spank someone else.

She also would like to *give* a spanking. But since she has no desire to spank me (Todd), and since I have no desire to be spanked... this is something she'd need someone else's bottom to do.

As for me, I've have been involved in spanking for some time, and have spanked outside a "primary relationship." That is to say, I've spanked someone I wasn't in a relationship with (nor was I in any relationship at all, at the time). I enjoyed giving those spankings quite a bit.

So, allowing spanking play to expand to outside the relationship would be new for both of us. We're both extremely secure in our relationship though... and we both are very open minded. We can separate "play" time, from the things that make us a couple in love.

I guess that puts us in the "desire" category... and, it probably also puts us in the minority as far as this question goes.


-Todd & Suzy

Tigger said...

Hiya Bonnie,

I've been spanked consensually by two men, one of them obviously being my beloved Dante. But before him, I was involved extramaritally (for both of us) with a true sadist, in every sense of the word. Oddly enough, that was my introduction into the real world of spanking, though I'd fantasized about it since my early teen years. (Yes, I was spanked severely as a child, too... most unpleasant memories).

Anyway, I don't know how Dante and I have managed to save my spanko lust considering all the trauma I've experienced but I'm constantly awed and grateful... thanks for such an intriguing question.

Byt the way, Bonnie, dear, since you have at least popped out of hibernation once, would you mind checking out my post from today? I'm trying to organize a fantasy game on my blog and would be THRILLED to have you participate. Nothing required of you except to send me via email (tggr69@lycos.com... new email) a fantasy of yours, not mentioning any names, one that you've never posted anywhere before. It's going to be a guessing game, with lots of other blog promotion, etc. So far CeeCi and Paul have responded enthusiastically... please let me know!

Enjoy your shades of pink and the serenity pouring from you!

Hugs,
Tigger

SuZQ said...

Hiya Bonnie - it's my first brunch. I hope there's room at the table for one more!

Truthfully, the only spankings I have participated in were outside a committed relationship. Most of them were when I was much younger (and single). But even though I tried for years to encourage it (even posed bottom up on the bed one time with his belt across my ass), my now-ex-husband would never oblige my desires in the 25+ yrs we were married. I definitely have one coming!

My next committed relationship will include spanking because I don't intend to live the rest of my life without it. But until then, I'm considering a spanking partner, maybe a mentor/mentee-type relationship. I'll just have to see what comes along. Wish me luck!

Cassie said...

Bonnie-
I own a Jaguar I’m not dreaming of switching to a Vega!

Anonymous said...

I hadn't even given that much thought until a spanko friend asked me if I'd ever thought about getting spanked by another woman. At first, I was suprised, but then I began to get a tingle of excitement. I couldn't seem to stop thinking about her spanking me!!!

I talked to my hubby about it, asking him what he thought and if he would be okay with it, and he was just as excited by the idea of watching my friend spank me as I was!!!

Now, I can't wait for her to put me over her knee!!!

*hugs*
Tigger

bella said...

All of my spanking activities are outside my primary relationship. They all occur in my secondary relationship. Outside that, I don't have much interest in casual spankings.

I do have an interest, though I'm not sure I'd call it a fantasy, to experience the submissive viewpoint with a female Dom. It's something that I believe will happen at some point in the future.

Nice to "see" you, Bonnie!

bella

jeanmarie said...

What a wonderful surprise to have an unexpected brunch!
I'd love to get involved with a woman to switch with, outside of my relationship with Kyle. It would have to get sexual, seeing how aroused I get with anything spanking-related, which would be new for me, too. I think about it often.
Jean Marie

jeanmarie said...

I gotta tell you Bonnie, I wasn't expecting a brunch topic and was sad, so I logged on, just to see recent responses to your "away message." It was such a nice surprise to see that you'll keep hosting brunches. Sundays aren't the same without 'em.
I hope that you're having the most delicious vacation. While you're getting tan lines and your hide tanned, think about us who're going back to school this week.
Love,
Jean Marie

Theresa said...

I love reading your blog. I can't typically comment much about the Brunch topics as I am not in a spanking relationship. So I have created my own blog. A spanking blog by a girl who does not get spanked! Anyway, I still enjoy your post. Hope you are having a wonderful hiatus!

Mija said...

So glad you're keeping the Brunch alive even during your downtime!

The short answer to Bonnie's question...

Yes, I've played with people apart from Pab, both before he and I got together and since. Likewise, my partner has played with other people, though geography and personality have combined to make that more limited. There are some dangers to playing with other people when you're in a committed relationship, but mostly it's been a great experience and we've both been happy for the other person.

For the longer answer... well, see my blog entry for today. :)

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