Monday, August 21, 2006

Keyword Chaos Revisited

People find their way to My Bottom Smarts in all sorts of ways. About a quarter of all visitors use a search engine. I derive considerable amusement from the keywords that somehow lead to this blog. Here's a fun sample:
  • miniskirt humiliating slut instructions - Any real slut wouldn't be humiliated by a miniskirt. Nor would she need instructions.

  • wife no sex - If wife no sex, maybe husband no use search engine for internet wank

  • my bottom is not well - Clearly a case of inflammatory paddlitis

  • priest naughty girl spanking - I smell attorneys

  • "ten dollars per hour" punctuation - Alas, there are a lot of English majors working in the food service industry

  • how do I finger pussy - If you ask her, I'm sure she'll show you what she likes

  • "brad pitt" "get spanked" - Now there's an amusing possibility I hadn't considered

  • television spankings - That actually worked back when TVs contained vacuum tubes, but modern sets don't respond well to spankings

  • male preferences, big wobbly buttocks - Here we go, another less than charitable assessment of my posterior!

  • girdle "plump bottom" - Yes, I have a plump bottom. No, I don't want to wear a girdle.

  • songs about spanking - "The hills are alive with the sound of spanking!"

  • sever spankings - Nothing good can come from severing anything during a spanking. I must firmly suggest that you contact your local emergency medical service.

  • should my boss spank my bare bottom - This concept works a whole lot better in fiction

  • definition of bonnie - In my case, it means a woman who enjoys good life, great love, and being the willing recipient of a well executed spanking

  • spanking every other sunday - Are we perhaps a tad anal retentive about our spanking schedule?

  • pains in bottom through wind - I'm picturing a mechanical spanking machine powered by a windmill

  • spank plump bottom - C'mon, guys. Give it a rest.

  • waistband spank thong stories - The waistband is a lousy place to spank. Aim a little lower, OK?

  • "I have been spanked" - Really? Me too!

  • my mistress owns my bottom - Next week, she's going to auction it on eBay!


bella said...

songs about spanking - "The hills are alive with the sound of spanking!"

Oh no... I feel a serious gigglefest coming on here.

Sung to the tune of Edelweiss from The Sound of Spanking

Riding crop, riding crop
Every morning you spank me
Blue and black
Hurts my crack
Gratefully I thank thee

Too much caffeine, I fear...

Very funny post. Thanks, Bonnie!


Anonymous said...

I love your comments, Bonnie!!! You're too funny!!!


Tigger said...

Back to your old form, eh, Bonnie? So, are you BACK for real or just teasing us?

In case you didn't know, the final stats are up and your identity has been revealed... though you were only correctly identified by ONE intuitive, thoughtful (or lucky) reader...

Big hugs and sure glad to have you back,

Paul said...

Very funny Bonnie, I'll bet your beloved thinks your butt is perfect, any spanker would approve.
I found you curtasy of CeeCi, for which I am very grateful.

Grace said...

Somehow the pains in bottom through wind, made me think of someone having pains when they fart!

Of course that's just me.

Glad to see you back!

Kelly said...

lmao! Those are so funny Bonnie! I love them!

New Beginnings said...

Bonnie, as usual your comments make me smile. If your story for Fantasy Friday is any indication of your vacation I would never come home! It was a great story!


Bonnie said...

Bella: I can see it now: Spanking - The Musical.

Sung to the tune of "Climb Every Mountain"

Spank every bottom
Swat high and low
Paddle every backside
Every seat you know

Spank every bottom
Flog every tail
Redden every sit spot
'Til it's never pale

Tigger Too - Thanks!

Tigger - I dunno. I'm here this week. I might be here a bit less next week, but I'll be around.


Paul - I'm grateful too.

Grace - :) That makes as much sense as my explanation.

Kelly - Thanks! I hope you're doing well in your new home.

Elis - Thanks. I'll be talking some more about vacation as time permits.

Hidden Flames said...

"Sever spankings" - that is just too funny...

This is great... Thanks for the chuckle!

A'marie said...

Sometimes I just don't understand how keywords work. :D At least they're amusing!

bella said...

I can see it now: Spanking - The Musical.


I think this is yet another idea that could fly.

(Whose favorite quote from the musical will be by Captain von Tramp: "The first rule of this household is discipline.")

Anonymous said...

Hello, new vistor here. I love your site! Bonnie, don't you dare get offended by the plump bottom references! Your plump ass is just the right size for my tastes, all round and curvy and looking EXQUISITE in those jeans! Your husband is a very, very fortunate man and I'm insanely jealous! I have a very vanilla wife.

The first post I read was the "Saga of the White Shorts" from July. That title caught my eye as I have a thing for women (and especially big, plump butts) in white pants and shorts. I've jacked off about three times to that story! I'd love to see a picture of your beatiful derriere in those spanking about an early birthday present for me?!

Keep up the good work!

New Frequent Visitor!

Bonnie said...

HF - You're most welcome.

A'Marie - Precisely!

Bella - First there was George and Ira, then Rodgers and Hammerstein, now Bella and Bonnie!

Tony - Hi Tony, and welcome.

The "round and curvy" speech is what Randy tells me, almost verbatim. Needless to say, he likes that look as well.

As for the white shorts, I'm glad you liked my story (although your reaction was a bit TMI). As for the photo, I'll see what I can do.

Anonymous said...


Sorry about the TMI [blush!] Sometimes I just can't help myself! ;)

Anonymous said...

Oh, and the anonymous post above is from me, forgot to sign it!

Tony L.

Anonymous said...

Oh, that is SOOO funny! I just love your comments on the keywords! Laughing like mad!

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