Keyword Chaos Revisited

People find their way to My Bottom Smarts in all sorts of ways. About a quarter of all visitors use a search engine. I derive considerable amusement from the keywords that somehow lead to this blog. Here's a fun sample:

• miniskirt humiliating slut instructions - Any real slut wouldn't be humiliated by a miniskirt. Nor would she need instructions.


• wife no sex - If wife no sex, maybe husband no use search engine for internet wank


• my bottom is not well - Clearly a case of inflammatory paddlitis


• priest naughty girl spanking - I smell attorneys


• "ten dollars per hour" punctuation - Alas, there are a lot of English majors working in the food service industry


• how do I finger pussy - If you ask her, I'm sure she'll show you what she likes


• "brad pitt" "get spanked" - Now there's an amusing possibility I hadn't considered


• television spankings - That actually worked back when TVs contained vacuum tubes, but modern sets don't respond well to spankings


• male preferences, big wobbly buttocks - Here we go, another less than charitable assessment of my posterior!


• girdle "plump bottom" - Yes, I have a plump bottom. No, I don't want to wear a girdle.


• songs about spanking - "The hills are alive with the sound of spanking!"


• sever spankings - Nothing good can come from severing anything during a spanking. I must firmly suggest that you contact your local emergency medical service.


• should my boss spank my bare bottom - This concept works a whole lot better in fiction


• definition of bonnie - In my case, it means a woman who enjoys good life, great love, and being the willing recipient of a well executed spanking


• spanking every other sunday - Are we perhaps a tad anal retentive about our spanking schedule?


• pains in bottom through wind - I'm picturing a mechanical spanking machine powered by a windmill


• spank plump bottom - C'mon, guys. Give it a rest.


• waistband spank thong stories - The waistband is a lousy place to spank. Aim a little lower, OK?


• "I have been spanked" - Really? Me too!


• my mistress owns my bottom - Next week, she's going to auction it on eBay!