Sunday, July 02, 2006

Recap: MBS Sunday Brunch for July 2

We're back, and it's back to work for me. I've compiled the responses to our very sexy Sunday brunch. All I can say is "Wow!"

Pagan: In our relationship, spanking IS sex. Spanking is woven so intricately into my sexuality that it can't be extricated.

My husband is a vanilla who has grown to enjoy spanking me. Not because he's dominant, but because he enjoys the reaction I have to it.

Not only does he have a woman ready to tear his clothes off in ten minutes or less (try getting from 0 to 60 that quickly with purely vanilla foreplay), but he gets to watch me 'squirm,' which he says is half the fun. (No kidding - If I walloped him with a variety of heinous instruments, he'd squirm too).

One hundred percent of our spankings end in sex. That's why he spanks me. That's fine with me. After getting my ass tanned, I want to have sex, believe me. LOL

He swats me frequently, and will sometimes pin me and give me a half dozen playful swats, but I don't consider that a 'real' spanking. Those kind of mini-spankings are usually pure play, and don't lead anywhere. Besides, the kids are often not too far away when he does that.

But if we're in bed at night, and he takes the time to haul me over him, pull down my pajamas and go for it? He's just given me my favourite kind of foreplay. :)

Katie Spades: For Jake and me, spankings have different meanings. Some are purely punishment and there is no sex involved and neither of us get turned on. Neither of us enjoys them, but we feel they are necessary.

However, we also do have erotic spankings which always lead to sex and are a boatload of fun. Sometimes we dress up and roleplay which is totally hot and we have a great time.

Mistress Sky: I'm with Pagan, but I appreciate what Katie says.

Since I started to become a sexual adventurer, I've realised that the domme in me can do BDSM without sex, but the sub in me demands the sex with BDSM. I adore my spankings. It's foreplay. It reinforces our role as a couple and I know that Raven gets as turned on by spanking me as I do being spanked by him. We're playing the "game" all day tomorrow, thankfully without interruption for once! I'm already excited!

Marcus: Yes, I use spankings as foreplay. It's a nice way to warm up some nerve endings. I'm about spankings as part of sex, not anything else.

Jean Marie: When it's a playful spanking, it's like the best foreplay and sex afterward is assured. Sometimes the spanks continue while he's in me, which is the BEST.

When it's punishment, I'm not rewarded right away with sex. That would defeat some of the purpose. But it is rare that we don't make love later, whether just half an hour later or half a day. Then it's like make-up sex. He's saying that my slate is clean and all's forgiven, and I'm saying that I appreciated his discipline and learned my lesson.

So, sex is inextricably linked with spanking for us.

Cuddlybum: Sex and spanking nearly always come together for us. Whether for punishment or fun, the sex brings us back together, especially if it’s been a bad punishment.

About the only time a spanking doesn't follow with sex is when its a stress relief one and I'm too exhausted and worn out to do anything but be tucked into bed and soothed asleep. But on those occasions we end up having very loving, very sweet, very vanilla sex later on or the middle of the night or the next morning, depending upon how tired I am/how late it is/ how upset I am or he is.

Sex as foreplay is fantastic. The sex after a punishment has en element of punishment in it, mainly because my bum HURTS! But it also has that element of reconnection. It’s really important. If I didn't get that, I'm not sure how I'd react.

Padme: Things for us tend to run their own course. Sometimes sex and spankings go together. Sometimes I am disciplined only as DD and there is no sex involved at all. Those are times of punishment. We try to keep them separate.

If we are playing, then usually the spanking goes first and then sex afterwards, so he can grab my very sore butt and it adds to the excitement for both of us.

The Last Romantic: If ever some spanking happens for me, it is only while having sex and never out of it, and I can hardly call a few slaps on the butt a spanking...

Escort Girl: I'm a call girl and I enjoy getting lightly spanked in doggy-style and cowgirl. For me, spanking is purely sexual. I don't seem to enjoy it during "making love," just during uninhibited sex with strangers, my johns. Getting spanked makes me feel more naked, I think, heightening the thrill. The sound of his palm clapping against my fleshy behind, the wiggle it produces, how it urges me on toward a climax. It’s like being told giddyup without words.

Mike: For us, it's foreplay. The spankings usually start after things are getting hot and heavy. We are pretty even on who gives and who receives. It seems like we go through phases, for a few weeks, she will get most of the spankings. Then one time we'll switch and I get them for the next few weeks.

It's a turn on for both of us to get spanked, and as a spanker we both enjoy arousing the other, so it works out well. So sex and spanking? For us, one is part of the other.

Paul: I freely admit it spanking for us was sexy. Good girl spankings were very much foreplay. Stress busters, attitude adjusters, and even punishments frequently found us doing what comes naturally, even though that wasn't supposed to happen. Any degree of comforting, and everyone needs comforting after a hard spanking, led to the ultimate in comforting. Ah well, ours was a very loving and solid marriage.

Ford: Irrespective of the type of spanking, and they're almost exclusively for punishment in my case, I can't recall an occasion when a spanking hasn't lead to sex.

So things do seem to happen in their own course, but sex seems to be where that course inevitably leads for us, no matter how much (or because?) my backside is smarting at the time.

Mary: Our relationship started over my need to be spanked. Neither of us seemed overly eager to enter into a sexual relationship. My reason was that I knew I wasn't ready. So when we first started together, spankings were without sex (How did we manage??) I guess I had no idea how good sex could be, especially how tantalizing it would be after spanking.

Now we have sex without spanking, but rarely, if ever, a spanking without sex. Things just seem to take a natural course. Sometimes after a severe spanking for a misdeed of a sexual nature, I am bent over and teased with penetration taking me to the edge, only to have him withdraw and spank me again. Of course, this leaves me begging for him, and even willing to take the cane just to have him back. Sex in this setting is very raw and orgasms are explosive. The ouch I feel in my bottom as he thrusts heightens my pleasure.

Other times, the sex that follows has a sweetness to it. Perhaps this would be considered aftercare as I am treated to multiple orgasms. Even if the spanking is of a punishment nature, sex afterward does not confuse the issue. It is a reward for taking my spanking like a good girl should. I feel so loving, warm, and connected to him after a spanking that sex seems like the most logical consequence.

Brat Scorcher: Prior to administering a spanking to my wife, she will kneel and perform initial oral pleasure. This ritual is the same whether it is a punishment or purely a maintenance spanking.

Often during her punishment, my wife will beg for and most often receive cooling off breaks, during which, to thank me, she will kneel and perform additional oral worship. Often during the fellatio, she will express her gratitude. ("I want you to know how much I appreciate this short break, Sir. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Please know how much I appreciate this.")

For my wife and I, sex and spanking are quite nicely linked!

Lily: I did start answering your question on my blog, but seem to have gone off topic. So the short answer is spanking and sex always go together in our relationship.

Tigger Too: Spanking and sex are completely and totally connected for my hubby and me. Since I get GG spankings, they are definitely a form of foreplay, with lots of touching and caressing and teasing in between spanks! And the sex that follows a spanking is absolutely incredible for both of us!

CeeCi: Spankings have always been foreplay for us. A good spanking leads to amazing sex as we're connected, relaxed and hotter than hell.

Bonnie: Pagan summarized in one short sentence the essence of the relationship that Randy and I share: spanking IS sex. They simply belong together. Spankings make for more intense, more enjoyable sex. At the same time, sex provides a wonderful outlet for all of the emotions stirred up during a spanking. In short, neither would be as enjoyable without the other.

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Mistress Sky said...

It never ceases to amaze me how we all look at our lifestyles...we're all the same in our enjoyment of spankings, but different in our approaches/styles.
What an amzing race we are, to be sure. Thanks for posting this Bonnie, it made for interesting reading - as usual!
Sky x

Bonnie said...


I marvel at that diversity of perspective every week as I compile and edit these brunch recaps. As you say, we are alike in different ways.

Thanks for your participation!

Anonymous said...

Sexy reading!!!


Greg said...

Thanks for posting all these points of view, Bonnie ....... it makes amazing reading specially in my case as I am a newbie to the DD scene and am learning as much as possible. The only couple that I know that actively practice a CDD relationship told me that they keep punishment spankings seperate from sex and I couldn't understand why...... but now I do - there are obviously some who do and some who don't - no hard and fast rule!!

I am trying to woo a lady who only wants a DD relationship (i.e. no fun or role play spankings) but I am hoping that will change once we get to know each other a lot better!!

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