Spanking 101: Letting Go

As a spanking progresses, it’s quite natural for the recipient to experience ambivalence and feelings of resistance. The acute pain and the sense of being out of control contribute to a desire to escape and flee. At very least, she will desperately want the spanking to conclude. Such resistance may be manifest as screaming, begging, kicking, or trying to get up. Even the spankee who remains quiet and in position may still resist by acting as though it doesn’t hurt or by pretending that she is so tough that it doesn’t register.

This kind of resistance seldom yields the desired results. In fact, many spankers find it troublesome. They too would like to complete the spanking, but not before the full benefits are realized. The spanker’s typical response is to tighten his grasp and spank harder. A spankee who is still struggling is not yet ready to submit and accept her spanking.

If the spankee is stubborn, this contest may continue for some time. Eventually, though, she will reach a point when she no longer desires to struggle. She has accepted her fate and made peace with it. I call this magical moment "letting go." She can feel her entire body physically relax. Suddenly, the falling blows don’t hurt so much any more.

Once she has "let go," strong feelings of submission overwhelm all other emotions. She feels small and suddenly in need of her partner’s loving touch. Rather than an violation of her sovereignty, the spanking now feels like a caring expression of his dominance. She doesn’t fight it any longer. There is no need to resist because both partners are now working toward a common goal.

For the spanker, reaching the "letting go" stage indicates that his message has been received. For the spankee, the experience is considerably more intense and emotional. She realizes intuitively that she need not face her problems alone. She can stand with her partner and take them on together, one challenge at a time. I find that the overpowering physical and emotional shock of a hard spanking tends to push out feelings of negativity, despair, frustration, and overload.

The spanking often ends soon after the point of "letting go." Gentle aftercare, such as hugs, caressing, kisses, and whispered encouragement, nurtures the spankee’s budding feelings of submission. Lovemaking is typically welcome as well.

Most spankos have experienced that moment of "letting go." For me, the benefits inherent in intimate spankings usually begin at that instant and last for hours afterward. It’s a feeling that I anticipate and one I treasure.