Thursday, April 20, 2006

Spanking 101: Stress Relief

Life is stressful. For most of us, there’s simply no escaping that reality. All of us sometimes find ourselves with too much work and too little time. Shortcuts are taken. Mistakes are made. Misunderstandings occur. The result is a feeling of overwhelming anxiety. At this stage, even minor events can loom large.

When these kinds of troubles arise, successful people find a way to work through them. Some exercise at a gym. Some run. Others escape with a book, a movie, or even a vacation. In all of these cases, the key elements are to step away from the stressful situation and channel nervous energy in a more productive direction. At our house, we use spanking as a means of stress relief.

I have a great job and, most days, I love it. However, I work with people who have a remarkable ability to drive me crazy. If I’m already feeling emotionally sensitive, even small comments can push me over the edge. Rather than scream at a thoughtless boor, I choose to bring my problem home. My dear husband, Randy, has a wonderful treatment that drains the stress from my body.

A well executed stress relief spanking is loving, but not necessarily erotic. It’s harsh, but not punitive. Although any position can be used, Randy most often likes to bend me over the back of the couch. He claims there are fewer distractions than with the classic OTK position, thus allowing both of us to concentrate fully upon the matter at hand. He tends to spank with a wooden paddle or hairbrush. He believes that the jarring impact of a rigid implement is the most effective method for breaking through my resistance.

A stress relief spanking is, by necessity, very hard and very painful. At these times, I find that I can accept far more punishment that in most other scenarios. My bottom is often sore for a couple of days afterward. Nevertheless, I am most grateful for my stress relief spankings. I really need them once in a while. They restore balance, sanity, and perspective. I think of it as rebooting my emotions.
For Randy and me, a stress relief spanking is generally followed by intercourse. Even so, the actual spanking doesn’t seem much like a turn-on at the time. Once the proceedings are concluded, however, I inevitably find myself very much in the mood for lovemaking. If the purpose of the spanking is to clear the chaos, the sex that follows serves to re-establish order.

For at least a day or so, I feel considerably lighter, happier, more relaxed, and less burdened. My challenges remain the same, but I am more focused. I am also more cooperative and communicative as well.

Stress relief spankings obviously aren’t for everyone. Similarly, there are many problems simply cannot be resolved through spanking. But if you’re a spanko who battles stress, this might be just the remedy you need.

12 comments :

Anonymous said...

Love that you posted this, Bonnie, because the other day I sooooooo needed one of these spankings!!! My hubby, sweetie that he is, gave me one, too!!! With our sorority-style padddle!!! *sigh*

*hugs*
Tigger

Caia said...

Yup, nothing like a spanking to wipe away the stress of the day:) Works everytime for me. But, your paddle there looks mighty scary!!

galros said...

I'm a big fan of stress spankings as well - gotta say, the beloved gets the same reliease outa them as I do only without the wailing and crying!!!

speaking of which I'm due one tomorrow and I really can't wait to get out of my itchy skin!

cuddlybum

Anonymous said...

It's been a long time since I gave a stress relief spanking, ot any other sort, come to that.
Stress relief came between GG and Atitude adjustment, it's one where there isn't a set program, you just go where the moment takes you.
My Mel's work as a Psychologist often sent her home well stressed, our medium weight strap mostly did the job, I could see her body relax, a good cuddle and one relaxed little one, well worth the effort.
Bonnie, your 101 postings are worth their weight in gold, specially to those just starting out.
Hugs,
Paul.

Anonymous said...

Sharing the club...
I too do need those stress relief spankings now. But how on earth could I live through 3 decades without them. At work I could become irritated or very reserved. But at home I was so furious, swearing and cursing and stamping my feet. Now that's all gone. The spanking restores the balance.

Bonnie said...

Tigger - That's great. When we need it, we need it.

Caia - I say forget the pharmaceuticals. I'll take my anxiety medicine bent over the couch.

Padme - Thanks. I think of stress relief spankings as an investment in sanity.

Cuddlybum - Now that's a good arrangement. Both of you gain relief from stress.

I hope everything goes well for you tomorrow!

Paul - Thank you!

Danielle - Hi! That's my experience too. Sometimes a stress relief spanking is simply the easiest, most straight forward, most effective solution.

Bonnie said...

Lou - Welcome to MBS! I'm glad you stopped by.

At the risk of tipping my hand, tomorrow's Sunday spanko brunch question will be on this very topic. I think that would provide an ideal opportunity for you to share your insights.

Anonymous said...

I am somewhat curious about this stress relief. MY guy doesn't spank me (not that I don't deserve one sometimes) but I cry all the time at movies and I know that is a stress relief - Women do get stress relief from crying. You say that it really hurts. Do you bawl and cry when Randy is paddling you?
Jill

Bonnie said...

Jill - Hi, and welcome to MBS!

Crying seems to vary greatly by individual. I often cry at movies or the like, but seldom during spankings. I agree that crying provides stress relief, but many times, for whatever reason, I don't cry.

We had a Sunday brunch on the topic of tears several weeks ago. The participants offered a wide range of views and experiences. I gained some insight from reading their thoughts. You might as well.

Speaking of the brunch, I invite you, Jill, and everyone else to join us tomorrow when we will take on the subject of stress relief spankings.

Anonymous said...

Thank you Bonnie for telling me about this post and allowing me to share in the information of what everyone posted. I know I would bawl my eyes out but I think I would be too chicken to submit to a spanking. It is interesting though. Like when I read what you folks say about it I get aroused down inside me but then I get sort of real scared too.

It's not like I've never been spanked but it was different from what you are describing. When I was 11, my Dad spanked me three times when I acted out too much but when I recall that now, Dad didn't hit very hard and it wasn't on my bare bottom. It was over my jeans and like 3 quick slaps on the behind. It stung a little but the worst part was it broke my heart. I cried for at least 20 minutes every time.

But that was 15 years ago and no one has ever hit me since and I'm sure my boyfriend never would. Like even when he gets really angry with me, he would never think of anything like that. But there's this other guy who's sort of scary and likes to flirt with me. He said something to me last week which is what got me thinking about this.

We were in a group but off to one side and he whispered something very suggestive about my butt. I had just a few drops of water left in the bottle I was drinking so I poured it on his crotch and told him nicely to cool down. And he said that he'd like to put a ball in my mouth, put me over his knee and paddle my bare butt. I think he meant it. I didn't know what to say to that so I just walked away.

But it got me thinking. I don't know about a ball in my mouth (I'm not a dog.) but if you let a guy take your pants down and put you over his knee, you are pretty much helpless and at his mercy aren't you? Like this Bret is a real big guy and I'm afraid if he got started, he might really hurt me. How long does it take to get over a very hard spanking and do other people around you notice or suspect anything? Like Bret is not my boyfriend so it is not like I'm thinking of letting him or at least I don't think I am. I am just wondering.
Jill

Bonnie said...

Jill - The feelings of fear and arousal at the same time are an integral part of the spanking experience. It's the emotional side of the pain/pleasure blend we often discuss.

I think you will find that adult spanking is quite different from any childhood experience. The sexual context fundamentally alters everyone's roles and perceptions.

If you have a nice boyfriend with whom you have a comfortable relationship, I suggest you start playing with him. You don't know what he will or won't do until you ask. IMO, the scary fellow you describe might be better as just a friend.

It's one thing to fear a spanking and quite another to fear the person doing the spanking. For this kind of relationship to work well, you have to genuinely trust your partner. If you cannot, the relationship has no future. Please be careful in choosing a partner.

As for how long I can feel a hard spanking, there have been times when I could still feel some residual ache a few days later. I actually find that to be a major turn-on. No one knows, unless, of course, I elect to share my secret.

I hope that helps.

Gabby said...

I loved reading this post it actually really helped me understand why I have longed for my Fiancé to spank me so freaking bad. I have been so overwhelmed and stressed because of big transitions in life that all I want is to escape for a little while and cry. Anyway reading what you wrote validated what I've felt, so thank you.

I'm excited too and totally feel a little frisky because I bought him a paddle for a honeymoon gift. We have not actually done anything sexually except kissing yet, but he has mentioned a few times that he really wants to spank me and so I'm excited to surprise him and actually let him.

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