Sunday, April 09, 2006

MBS Spanko Sunday Brunch #12

Welcome back, everyone, to our Spanko Sunday Brunch. I invite you to join in a pleasant discussion of our favorite topic.

The format is the same as in the past. I will present a question and request your thoughts and opinions in response. You can post your answer here in the form of a comment, post it on your own blog, or send it to me via e-mail. Once we've heard from everyone, I will post an edited summary of the comments.

Here is our question:

What advice would you offer to a couple who are beginning to explore spanking in the context of a committed relationship?

The floor is yours...


Mary said...

Enjoy it, communicate. There is no "right formula" explore together. Expect emotions to fluctuate. Communicate, share, and be open to one another.

SpankedMinx said...

I would agree. Communication is the key & enjoy! Talk and laugh & you can't go far wrong.
Happy Sunday everyone!
Minx x x x x

Roper said...

Ask yourself, do I really like this person? If, in your heart of hearts, you don't, then don't spank them. Or let them spank you.

cuddlybum said...

Talk, talk, talk..... and then when you think you're all talked out, talk some more.

And make sure you agree on things before you start - for some reason the beloved thinks the middle of a punishment is an inappropriate place to discuss the use of spanking as punishment. (OK, he's probably right, but......) If one of you feel 10 spanks is horrendous and the other thinks that isn't even a warm up.... problems will develop!

The other thing is read - blogs, articles anything!! Did anyone else see the russian experiment bout spanked people being happier? That one's saved to my desktop!

And if ye can't agree on things - stop. Immediately. (unless mid punishment if that's the way its going!)As soon as possible talk calmly and reasonably about what's going right/wrong. And share the fantasies - even the ones you never really want to live out!

(Sorry its so long, Bonnie)


Paul said...

Bonnie, cuddlebum is right, talk, talk, talk, and just as important listen, listen, listen. You love each other, now you need to learn to trust each other. learn as much as you can about what you want to share. Be flexible, be prepared, be gentle, until you know something about each others limits, this takes time but is and will be very important, learn each others body language.

Anonymous said...

Wow everyone pretty much said it all. The one thing I think is so important is that both of you want this. It should not be done becasue one person wants it and the other hates the thought of it. Even with wanting it talk, talk and talk some more really listen to what the other person is saying know what fears there may be and what limits can NOT be pushed no matter what. the most important thing for us is to know that the other person loves and respect you and that spanking part of your relationship not to be your whole relationship. If you can't see yourself with this person for years to come than spanking should not be involved at all. But if you can say that you truely love this person and you can see the futre in him/her than spanking can be a part of your relationship. Again a part not the whole relationship.

Just my thoughts

PS Congrads on your new granddaughter enjoy every minute with her past on your life stories and happiness as she is the future of our world and needs to know from were she came so that she can move forward. It is never to early to tell her you love her.

Anonymous said...

Great question...

First, I think they would need to come to a decision about whether the spanking is going to be of the erotic or discipline variety. After that, it's all about taking things slow and experimenting.

The most important thing, though, is communication. I think you need to be open and honest with your significant other for spanking to work. And, if the spanking your doing is of the erotic variety, then definitely have some fun with it!!!


Bethie said...

Communication is the key that will open the door and keep that door open. But you've also got to be prepared for the reality of the situation and be prepared to cope when your real-life experiences don't match up with your fantasies.

Your desires may not match up perfectly, but it's not the end of the world. It just means you're going to have to do some more talking and come to some kind of compromise. It's like any other aspect of your relationship, you've got to meet on common ground in order for it to work.

Dang, Bonnie, that cinnamon roll is making me drool!

Janeen said...

Excellent question as always...(I have been meaning to do an essay similar to this topic)

I agree that communicaiton is a biggie, but patients is another key factor.

Don't be disappointed if it isn't the way you imagined it right off the bat. It takes time to feel comfortable, and figure out what's right for both of you. Every relationship is unique, there really is no right or wrong way, you adapt your own way.

Not that doing research isn't extremely helpful, but never feel like you fall short of another relationship you know or have read about.

Bonnie said...

Great answers!

I agree with what everyone has said. Here’s a top ten list that specifically addresses this question.

kitten said...

Wow...I have to agree with everyone here! Talking openly and honestly is important, as well as exploring together. What might work for some, will not necessarily work for all. Take your time - laugh, learn, and love as a couple.

Anonymous said...

in my marriage, spanking was used as punishment when one of us caused the other to become very upset. initally it took long hours to argue followed by long periods of silence to clear the air. i finally decided that after causing her to be upset she was to give me a spanking otk bare using a hairbrush. this procedure gave me a red hot bottom which really stung however the misdoing was settled promptly and life went on. she ultimatly mishehaved and got her bottom tanned and reported she learned her lesson, we both highly recommend spanking when needed

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