Wednesday, March 08, 2006

Opinion: The Spanko Feminist

That’s right. It’s not an oxymoron. I should know.

Today is International Women’s Day. It’s an occasion to celebrate the achievements of women great and small, but also to remember those women who are still struggling for their rights. Many women and girls all over the world are oppressed simply because of their gender. You’ve heard the stories of mutilation, denial of education, rape, enslavement, and murder. This is universally wrong and I believe all of us should work to stop this tragic injustice.

On a lesser scale, though no less problematic, are web sites that portray women as being inherently inferior. Worse yet, we are shown as hopelessly flawed creatures who would be lost but for constant guidance and frequent punishments delivered by men. I find these characterizations offensive and insulting. When they are justified by religious arguments, the mix becomes particularly intolerable.

I believe we women possess great power. We share the gift of life. Were we to all stand up and speak with one voice, the mothers, sisters, daughters, wives, and girlfriends of the world could bring peace. In fact, that may be the best chance we have. There’s no way we can ever again quietly accept second class status.

At the same time, there are feminists who, with good intentions, lump all women of kink in with the unfortunate oppressed. In their minds, we couldn’t possibly choose this lifestyle without having been coerced, presumably by a man. In its way, this generalization is nearly as objectionable and patronizing. In both cases, other people who claim to understand our interests better than we do ourselves seek to constrain our roles.

I was born female, but I am a spanko by choice. I am empowered to make my own decisions. I freely choose to loan my control to my husband because that kind of play brings us enjoyment and fulfillment. This act doesn’t render me forever inferior. It says nothing about the rightful role of any other woman or man. It’s just sex.

On this IWD, let’s focus upon the many genuine problems in the world. We spanko feminists are doing just fine.

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Roper said...

I'm afraid that if as a man I say I agree with every word, I'll come over as insufferably smug. Well, I'll say it anyway. I agree with every word.

Paul said...

Hear hear Bonnie,
more power to your pen, you are so right.
If that makes me smug, well so be it.

Anonymous said...

I couldn't agree with you more, Bonnie!!! Very well-said!!!


kitten said...

As a woman I agree too! Why do people always judge what they don't understand? It makes no sense to me. Oddly enough I feel empowered, stronger, more confident when I am spanked, it is only when I am not spanked that I feel hesitant, self- conscious, unsettled. :)

cuddlybum said...

What has getting spanked got to do with being a feminist? (this confuses me regularily when people accuse me of not being a feminist)

Feminism is about equal oppurtunities right? Recognising a human's inate ability and right to make decisions bout their lives? (obviously above a certain age, giving a 4yr old that kind of freeom might lead to problems!!)

And does spanking me make the beloved a masculinist? Or not?

Agree with what you say, just expressing some confusion following a conversation earlier today!!


Miranda said...

Well written post. I agree with what you say too. Having said that, we shouldnt forget that there are some very prominent, successful men out there that have their kinks too. Does that make them less machos? What happens behind closed doors is no one else's business.

Head of House said...

Well said, I wish the rest of the vanilla world could read you post it would go a long way in bridging the gap between feminist and those in the LDD or spanking community.

Lee said...

Bravo. It amazes me that people feel they have the right to label certain groups of people they know nothing about. And where I come from, its fairly common.

Bonnie said...

Roper - Please feel free to say what you like.

Paul - Thank you.

Tigger - Thanks!

Kitten - Yes, that's my experience too.

Cuddly - My point is that the two are not contradictory. Despite the screams from some corners of the feminist community, one can definitely be both a spanko and a feminist concurrently.

Miranda - That's a very good point, and quite true.

HOH - Thanks, and welcome to MBS!

Lee - I think it's human nature to want to categorize things. It creates a kind of shorthand that simplifies a complex world. Unfortunately, when people are placed into pigeonholes, their unique nuances cease to be visible. The only way to combat this phenomenon is through education. That's why I try not to miss an opportunity to explain this lifestyle and what it means to those of us who practice it.

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