Sunday, February 26, 2006

MBS Sunday Brunch #6

Welcome back. Please come in and join us! It's Sunday and this is the weekly My Bottom Smarts spanko brunch.

The brunch is your chance to share and to learn. Each week, we have a designated topic. This topic is more a suggestion than a rigid guideline. Participants then post comments offering their thoughts and insights on the subject. Some people prefer to respond on their own blog and supply a link. Others prefer to send me an e-mail. All three methods work well.

Once I have collected and edited all of the responses, I will post a second article summarizing our discussion. I am always amazed by not just the quality, but also the breadth of different viewpoints represented.

As I alluded in a previous message, this week's question comes from a frequent reader and correspondent. I liked it so much that I wanted to bring it here for your consideration.

Do spankings make you feel embarrassed or humiliated?

I await your wisdom...


cuddlybum said...

Oh God its Sunday!! I was living in a nice 'Saturday' feeling until I read that!

Spankings.....don't make me feel embarrassed or humiliated - not the spanking itself anyway. Talking about it, writing about it, admitting to someone I submit to it and like it (sometimes anyway!) - that is all embarrassing and humiliating. Very embarrassing.

THankfully my beloved knows this and wouldn't make me tell anyone or tell anyone himself that would make comments to me about it!

And sometimes.... the embarrassment and humiliation is part of the game isn't it?


Mike said...

When I first started spanking with my wife, before we were married, I was a little embarrassed to bring it up, but did in the context of spanking her. This went on for a while. I was very embarrassed about asking for a spanking, and that is why I didn't for so long.

Although my wife doesn't mind at all and enjoys spanking me on occassion, I still feel a little embarrassed when they start. Especially if I bare myself for the spanking. Once the spanking really starts the embarrassment fades away as the excitment and arousal grow.

I don't ever feel humiliated.

When our friends found out about our spanking, I was both emabarrassed and humiliated. And to this day we still get a little teasing about it.


Paul. said...

In a perfect world a Dom or H of H would never humiliate or embarrass his/her sub or partner, for me that's a given.

As far as I am aware in our 33 years together I never humiliated my Mel, when it comes to embarrassment, well I slipped up on occasion, Mel hated to have to hint too broadly or ask for a spanking she found this very embarrassing; in the early years I missed a trick or a few, even in the later years if I was preoccupied or very tired, fortunately Mel learned to read me also.

A happy sub needs a keen and observant Dom, the only exception is if the sub wants to be humiliated or embarrassed, I'm not sure how I would handle that.

Could I have refill please.

Thanks Bonnie:-)



rose said...

spankings never embarrass or humiliate me. even in my search for a regular dom, when the doms i was playing with were, um, not always to my liking.....the spankings were always erotic, sensual and stress relieving. when i'm being spanked by a lover with whom i have a connection, the spankings get me extremely wet and aroused. even the thought of a good spanking from jefferson starts my feelings of arousal, seeing him take out our "arsenal" of implements or seeing them out when i enter the bedroom makes me wet and excited. the connection that comes from a good spanking, the sweet cuddling and sex that follow are amazing! for me it's a very sensual, connecting experience.

and bonnie....thanks for the recent comment and the link. i'm honored!


Anonymous said...

Spankings never make me feel embarrassed or humiliated. Instead, they make me feel loved and cherished and incredibly close to my hubby, not to mention wildly aroused!!!


veronica said...

spankings don't embarrass or humiliate me because for me they are all about eroticism and enjoyment...i love the feeling of anticipation i get in my stomach when my sweetie instructs me to get over his knee or pushes me over the couch...i might get a litte over-anxious depending on what implement he's going to use...that bath brush is just a killer...but that's all part of the fun, isn't it?...:-)

CeeCi said...

Oh, Good I got here in time. Hi Bonnie, great question.

I've never felt embarrassed or humiliated because I want/need/desire spanking. Spanking has brought me closer to another person than I've ever been before.

Granted, it's not a topic I bring up to friends or family, yet I wonder if they're noticing the positive changes that have happened as a result of accepting this part of my being.

My relationship with MoJo and our exploration of our desires has been liberating. Embarrassment and humiliation just don't work into the equation of 'us'.

tboneslagirl said...

Sorry I was late... The Big Hairy Dom decided it was time for a motorcycle ride.

Spankings haven't ever humiliated or embarrassed me. They never had and never will.

I do remember when we first started talking about spanking and D's. I did feel totally embarrassed talking to him about this subject. I was afraid he would think was I totally out of my gourd. Instead, I found out he was more twizted than me.

wind walker said...

at first i was embarrassed by my own response to the spankings. i enjoyed the eroticness of it all, but was surprised just how much i liked it. that embarrassed me a little bit, and i was embarrassed to find how much i needed to be spanked, the drive that is. i thought spankings would be just a fun kinky "foreplay" aspect, and had no real intention of it becoming such a part of who i was.

i can't explain why i felt that way, but i can say that feeling of embarrassment was fleeting and soon i had no embarrassment at all. i accepted that spankings were incredible, in mind, body, & soul. i have never felt any kind of humiliation, which i think if you are ever with a partner who makes you feel humiliated or embarrassed that you enjoy something, that's a signal of a bad relationship.

Bonnie said...

One reason I found this particular question so intriguing is that I changed my answer twice while pondering it.

My initial response was no, of course not. For Randy and me, spanking is an integral part of our lovemaking. I refuse to be embarrassed or ashamed about having sex with my husband. That's what we're supposed to do! Now, if we weren't making love at all, I might be a little uneasy about that, but spankings are an essential element of our lives together.

Thinking a little more, I recognized that it would be very uncomfortable if we were ever outed to friends, family, or coworkers. That is, thank goodness, only a hypothetical possibility, but the events chronicled in this blog hold great potential for embarrassment.

Finally, I identified one place where all of these emotions and many more come into play – in our fantasies! For a couple of hours on a Friday evening, I can be that naughty cheerleader or saucy wench. I can revel in submission and dance with discipline. It's not real life, but those experiences have a profound impact upon my state of mind. In ways I cannot fully explain, roleplaying scratches an itch that lies deep within my psyche.

So, I guess my answer must remain nuanced and ambiguous. But doesn't that accurately describe the paradox inherent in this thing we do?

ann regel said...

I suppose I should feel embarrassed or humiliated but I never do. If it is a punishment or discipline spanking, I know I've earned it and I've got it coming.

I don't ever feel embarrassed by the spanking but sometimes by what lead to the spanking: my behavior or choices. Now that is something to regret.

Just my two cents, Bonnie!


t-bone said...

i'm not embarrassed, i'm horny. my girlfriend and i started spanking out of just kind of play wrestling. now we spank eachother all the time. lately she's been giving me these spank-handjobs, spank, stroke, kind of thing. it's hot, oops, here we go, got a boner,c-ya.

Marcus said...

The idea of being outed to coworkers would embarrass me immensely. However, I have never felt bad about liking to spank girls. I'm just picky who I share it with. Strangely, the girls that like it seem able to express it easier than I can.

When I spank, I am never out to embarrass or humiliate. I want erotic arousal. I've never tried to hurt a woman, nor will I ever. So my answer is, I want to spank without causing anyone embarrassment. Myself included.

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