Bonnie's Mailbag: Potpourri

I love hearing from my readers. They ask me interesting questions and I strive to provide them with equally interesting responses. This is my opportunity to share the questions and answers with you.

Let's see what's in the old mailbox this month...

Question: How can I find a man to spank me?

Answer: I'm sure there are a number of readers who can speak more from direct experience that I can (and please do), but I'll offer these thoughts.

A lot depends upon the type of relationship you seek (or whether you desire a relationship at all). If you want only the physical act of spanking without any emotional strings attached, you might search for a group of adult spanking enthusiasts in your area. This setting should provide a safe environment to play.

Many of us, however, desire more from a spanking than simply a sore bottom. As humans, it's our nature to want to connect with other people, or at least one other person.

A good spanking relationship is, at its heart, a good relationship. Look for in a spanker those qualities you would value in a partner. Even if you're not looking for sex, compatibility is essential.

There are many spanking forums that offer personal ads. I know people who have met their partners through this kind of service. Obviously, anytime you meet someone new, the usual precautions apply (meet in a public place, let a friend know, check in at a specified time, get to know them before progressing, etc).

Another approach would be to find a compatible vanilla partner for whom spanking is an acceptable form of foreplay. If your tastes run toward erotic spankings, this might be a possibility.

As with any prospective relationship, there are always dead ends, traps, and pitfalls. The path to your destination is not always clear, and you may well decide along the way that your destination has changed. However, armed with a plan, persistence, and a little luck, I believe you will find your spanking gentleman.

Question: Please describe your panties.

Answer: (laughing) You wouldn't believe how often I get this question. OK, if you were one of the guys who sent me e-mails about it, perhaps you would believe.

Anyhow, for play, I have a very nice collection of sexy lingerie. Despite my undeniable kinky streak, I am far more into lace than leather. Randy tells me he loves seeing me wear these outfits, although I have to wonder given the speed with which he removes them.

Last night, for example, I wore a periwinkle blue teddy with a matching thong. This set is made from a silky nylon fabric with lace trim. There are some little strings in that tie front. For Randy, it's sort of like opening a Christmas present.

Most days, however, I wear fairly pedestrian cotton briefs. Today's pair happens to be pink.

Question: Will you exchange links with me?

Answer: This is a touchy subject for some people, so I approach it with caution. On the other hand, it's a fair question and I will answer it.

My response is "it depends." The links on my blog are labeled "Blogs I Read," and that's the truth. My time is limited, and so, I presume, is yours. I have no desire to collect (or maintain) links for every blog and Web site on the planet. That's not helpful to me or my readers. I select a relatively small number of links to sites that provide content that is reasonably similar to what you see here.

In choosing links, I look first and foremost for sites that deal with the topic of spanking. That is the theme of this blog and I endeavor to stick as close to it as possible. My links reflect that bias. I do have links for a few sites that stray from this policy, but all are extraordinary in other respects.

I've heard it said that the key to success in blogging is content, content, content. I believe that. The best blogs are those that deliver interesting, well written, well presented posts. These sites are a pleasure to read.

I favor sites that are updated regularly. I have dropped a few blogs that I dearly love, but I can no longer justify sending readers to the same stale content. I also look for sites that are mostly upbeat in their outlook. We all have hardships in our lives and there's nothing wrong with sharing misery through a blog. But that doesn't mean I must give them a link.

I seek sites that are established. Two posts does not a blog make. I try to be supportive of bloggers who are just beginning and I frequently leave messages offering encouragement. When such blogs accumulate a good collection of posts, I often link them.

I prefer blogs that take a positive view of our kink and people in general. If I feel that an author is sexist, condescending, judgmental, or close-minded, I'm not likely to return to their blog.

I don't know if all of these criteria make sense, but this is how I think about links. I have no problem with anyone asking me for a link so long as they respect my right to decide which links to include.

The inclusion of a link is not meant to reward. Nor is the absence of a link meant to snub. It's merely my admittedly quirky preference on the day I last updated links.

Question: Do you really get spanked?

Answer: Yes, I do.

Question: May I participate in the brunch?

Answer: Absolutely!

I have one more reader question that I like so much that it's going to be the topic for tomorrow's brunch. I invite you to stop back and add your thoughts.

Keywords: spanking