Ten Incorrect Gift Responses

My dear husband gave me a leather paddle as a Christmas gift. After several rigorous tests, I can report that it works very well. In fact, I am quite pleased with his selection.

When he gave it to me, though, my response was one I wanted to take back as soon as I said it. While I removed the wrapping paper, I muttered, "So I suppose you're going to beat me with my own present." Oops.

Needless to say, beat me he did. The only saving grace was that I really enjoy the warm sting generated by the new paddle.

This episode inspired me to create a list of ill-advised responses when recieving a new spanking implement (especially when it is clearly intended for use on your own bottom). As a public service, I present the following gift-getter gaffes:

1. What's this wimpy thing?


2. Didn't you break one of these last year?


3. There's no way you're using this thing on me!


4. Who's butt is this supposed to be for?


5. If it's my paddle, do I get to swing it?


6. It's too big. It won't work.


7. What were you thinking?


8. This won't hurt at all.


9. Do you use this thing for spanking?


10. A flyswatter?

Friends, just erase these from your vocabulary. Believe me. You don't want to go there. Just stick with "Thank you."

Keywords: spanking humor