This week’s discussion dealt with planned or unplanned spankings. Here are your thoughts.
Dr. Ken: When I had a partner, there was no preparation – unless she did all the planning on her own, which is entirely possible! But they would seem to spring up spontaneously, and all decisions regarding it – duration, implements, etc. – were also made up on the spur of the moment. I have to say that I prefer the seemingly spontaneous approach.
Amy: I would love for spankings to be spontaneous. I think it would be great for my husband to just surprise me sometime. I don’t mean necessarily when I am being bratty, because that is kind of a hint really, but sometime when I am giddy and not really expecting it.
We have hit a bit a lull lately and a bit of "initiative" would go a long way for me.
River: We do not plan, per se, but I can usually tell by how I've behaved that day, and his reactions to my behavior, whether I'll get a punishment spanking that evening. Sometimes, he spanks me just for my pleasure, but I don't know if he plans those sessions. I have never had a "choreographed" spanking. I think, for me, it would be awkward. We have a 24/7 DD relationship, albeit a new one (the DD part, not our marriage). It might be fun to do some role-playing though!
Welcome, River! I’m pleased that you joined us.
morningstar: I always thought it would be fun if Sir were LESS spontaneous and a little more 'prepared' for spanking. In my wild imagination, it would always work so much better.
Sir, however, says He does not like to plan ahead in great detail. That’s because if something should happen that interrupts the flow of His plans, it ruins it for Him. So, He much, much prefers spontaneous, as in “Over the ottoman now!” and grabbing the first implement that comes to hand.
There are days that Sir will plan something different, such as cupping or needle play for example, and then expands on that activity if all is going well.
There are also times when we go to a private club or play party. There needs to be some planning ahead. For example, the toys are packed so I always know what is going to be used. When we get there and are ready, there is the choice of equipment and the binding to the equipment. The butterflies start in my lower belly in anticipation of what is to come as the toys are laid out neatly and Sir selects one and then moves through the collection.
I am not sure anymore if I have a favourite way. Spontaneous or planned, I am just a greedy little thing and I want it anyway I can get it. :)
Paul: Punishments, which were not meant to be fun, took place in the office, a very serious place.
Mel could generally expect a good girl before sleep most nights. It was very rare for us both to be so tired that she didn't get her seat warmed at least a little.
Apart from that spanking were pretty spontaneous. If there was time, Mel would plan a scene such as a naughty school girl, a bad secretary, or a disobedient wife. I might go along with what she planned, or I might change mid-flight, so even that could be quite spontaneous.
Whatever it was, it was always fun, and left Mel feeling good for the rest of the day.
Cookie: Usually for me, the spanking itself is known. But the duration and nature of it isn’t. Usually, I think he doesn't even know himself. I am sure he has in his mind how he wants things to go, but it all depends upon the actual event and my reactions and whether he is getting the desired effect or not. I would say they are somewhat spontaneous, but planned at the same time if that makes any sense. He likes to let me know I will be getting one, but rarely goes into details until the actual time.
Hermione: Great minds think alike. I have a post on just this subject planned for my blog. But I'll share here too.
I have to say we have both. There is the weekly spanking that is planned and follows exactly the same format each time. It's such a well-established routine that at five minutes before the appointed time, the dogs will sit and stare at us. When the clock strikes the hour and Ron says, "It's time," they run ahead of us and hop into their crates, where they stay for the duration.
Ron is in charge of the spanking, which follows the same pattern each time, although he will vary the implement he chooses. The delightful activities that that follow, however, are always varied.
We do have spontaneous spankings that happen within the context of making love. They aren't planned and are always a nice surprise.
I also get swats occasionally while in the kitchen. I would love to be given a completely unexpected spanking that's “just because.”
Sherryl: Being a self-spanker, I have to plan ahead when my roommate isn't around.
Elle: I favor spontaneous all the way.
I love anticipation, but the closest I get to that is a "You know what you're getting when I get you home?" type of planning.
Our Bottoms Burn: Most of our spankings are thought-out, but many are spur of the moment. Sometimes, there is discussion about an upcoming spanking for days beforehand. We refine the intended action while “torturing” the spankee with vivid details. Ah, anticipation is wonderful.
As to which we prefer, I always say when offered a choice, take both. Seriously, since all of our spankings are for fun, we take pleasure in the sexy dialog of planning a spanking as much as one given in surprise.
Brennus: We have both kinds really. I usually tell her when she'll be spanked, but not how. Often, I leave hints lying about (OMG! He has that icky tawse on the floor near the bed!). I usually have sort of a game plan set up for a "scheduled" spanking, but things change for various reasons. Sometimes, "old iron butt" has trouble living up to her nickname. Other times we get, um, playful and the spanking gets abandoned in favor of other activities.
We do have spontaneous spankings. They are along the lines of, "It's cool outside, darling," he says, "You need a coat." "No I don't," she replies. A few swats with a wooden coat hanger later and we're ready to go – with our coats.
Welcome to you too, Brennus!
K: Our spankings are all for fun and mostly spontaneous. Once in a while, Hubby will come home from work in a playful mood and I might get a good indication that fun will come when all the kids are asleep. I've only just asked him for 'just because' spankings and he has taken to them with great enthusiasm.
When there is a bit of anticipation beforehand, I do start a spanking more excited. But planning ahead can backfire with a toddler who doesn't always fall asleep on schedule and sometimes wears us out before she's asleep. When this happens, there's a sense of let down. So, for now anyway, I'll stick to spontaneous whenever opportunity and desire collide.
Alice: Other than knowing that I will get a spanking whenever we are together, I am not privy to any planning that may occur. I do not think that he plans the scenario out either, though he may have certain implements in mind. For me, our playtime is entirely spontaneous, which is how I love it.
Dragonmage: Punishment spankings are planned out and I tell luvbunny what she will get, and why.
Spankings for fun (which are far more common) are a mix. Some are planned to a degree (mostly just a basic idea of what I want to do), but most are spontaneous.
Jean Marie: I do get some choreographed (perfect word choice for this dance, Bonnie) spankings. On my birthday, my bottom is lotioned and massaged and spanked sweetly. Christmas morning, I'm annually gifted with a switch in my stocking, and after all of the other presents are unwrapped, I lower the seat of my drop-seat jammies (which I wear periodically throughout the year but ALWAYS on Christmas eve) and get a whipping in front of the fireplace. This past Easter my lover and I went to a sunrise service followed by brunch. In the buffet line, my man whispered that I looked ravishing and that when we were through eating he was going to take me home and strap me. I ate remarkably quickly.
Each of these occasions was followed by the most wonderful love-making. I'd love more special-occasion, choreographed sessions because the anticipation gets me so wet and horny. They are pure sexiness because I get to look forward to the romp for an hour or days or even weeks before it occurs.
Just one notch down on the anticipation scale are the spankings that I set-up. The best example is this posting. My lover is something of a control freak. He likes his privacy and doesn't like me blogging about him. Every Sunday, I get out of bed, read the brunch topic, and often respond. My lover has rigged our computer so that I can't do so except by e-mail, so that he knows about it. Sometimes, I'll send my posting and crawl back in bed and snuggle and wait for when he'll snoop to discover my naughtiness. I've been known to bring the laptop to his side of the bed with my panties pulled down and my nightie pulled up, proclaiming that I know that I'm in for a whooping because of the sent missive. Because these sessions are punishment for my willful disobedience, I get it in ways that I don't prefer, like with the hairbrush or wooden spoon, and ever so much harder than is sexy. Cornertime is sometimes assigned in-between spank sessions, which I really hate, but which does keep me focused on my sorry and sore butt.
Sometimes, I'll be in a mood and a weekly spanking of this type won't suffice, so I'll brat until I get my way and get spanked. An innocent example is last Thursday when I cooked dinner dressed only in an apron and high heels. I knew when Kyle came home and saw me there'd be fireworks. He spanked my exposed bottom and pleasured me from behind over the kitchen counter and again later over the dinner table.
Role-playing falls in this category. When he sees me in the schoolgirl outfit (or the cheerleader's uniform, thanks to Bonnie's suggestion) and he's going to fall into character. I put it on knowing that it'll be yanked off in five minutes.
Then there are the spontaneous ones, those spankings where anticipation lasts only three seconds but where adrenaline is maximized. My man is a sports-fiend, so I'll walk in front of the TV and bend over at the climactic moment during a game or horse race, assuring that after he's yelled for me to "get out of the way!" and seen the play or re-play, that I'll be upended and warmed. These make up the majority of our play. I know that I can just shoot him a look as I undress for bed, pulling my tight jeans down oh so slowly over my curves, and sleeping will be postponed for a half hour or so to allow for a brief spanking and a quickie.
The only thing I can say about these different types of spanking is that I wish I got more. But I've written more specifically about Kyle (he HATES it when I use his name!) in this posting than I've ever dared before, so I'm sure to get a memorable one.
Bonnie: We practice both varieties and plenty of shades in between. I find it difficult to choose between slow, intense turn-on of a ritualistic spanking and the heart pumping thrill of a surprise bottom warming. I certainly wouldn’t want to give up either type.
Thank you all for participating in our spanko brunch.
