Bah, I say! Most of my spankings wouldn't be proper by this definition. My husband and I enjoy and celebrate every moment and every swat, from beginning to (rear) end. Even when my bottom really hurts, I want to receive the full spanking that I deserve. I'm committed until he decides we're done and I am grateful for the stinging gifts he delivers.
I think whoever wrote this must not love getting spanked.
8 comments :
I like that phrase* and I love getting spanked.
For me, the appeal is that the phrase evokes the top taking control and pushing me through any momentary doubts that arise (because a spanking hurts!). We both know that being spanked to my limits makes me feel deeply cared for. The spankings are joyful shared experiences between top and bottom, just as yours are.
*It gives me a thrill to read that phrase, but I generally dislike statements about "real" or "proper" spankings because of exactly what happened here --- they imply that spankings that don't match the statement are somehow not "real" or "proper". I think any consensual spanking play that brings its participants joy has an equal claim to authenticity.
Hi Bonnie, oh yes, we definitely hear that saying a lot lol. You make a good point. I guess for some the attraction isn't the spanking itself, after all, they hurt! LoL. For some the attraction is the closeness and intimacy that comes with it, and how it makes you feel afterwards.
Hugs
Roz
Probably a better saying is: "A proper spanking leaves you wanting more."
Just not right away, of course!
Anon - I too appreciate the "pushing through" experience. Much of the goodness that spankings yield for me lies on the other side.
I think you nailed my objection in your last paragraph. How dare some witty blogger try to tell me which spankings are proper? If we like it, it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks!
Roz - I definitely agree about closeness and intimacy and the feeling afterward. I just object to someone labeling other people's spankings proper or improper based upon their own criteria.
RP - There's a saying I can get behind!
Thank you, Bonnie! Thank you for saying this, and saying it so clearly. When I first read this statement (long ago), I felt bad about myself. You must not be a good sub because sometimes you send signals (verbal but especially non-verbal) that the spanking has been hard enough, that I need a break, I told myself. It took someone like you, some who I respect so highly, to make me see the truth, that it's an expression between just us two, for us, not about what some boastful Top might want to express. Thank you!
Jean Marie - You're most welcome. I believe strongly that each couple should discover their own protocols and boundaries. Living someone else's concept of life or kink is seldom fulfilling.
I am with others on this -- I see the word "proper" and I automatically turn off. I understand the sentiment; the love/hate thing kicks in when it starts getting intense and it's through this that I can achieve that delicious floatiness. But I don't think wanting it to stop should be a requirement. That expression has always sounded kind of mean and arrogant to me.
And yes to wanting more!
Erica - Yes, I completely agree. That's my objection too.
Post a Comment
Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.