I strive to conceal my real-life identity while on the internet and my internet identity while outside. I don’t want these worlds to intermingle. It’s not that I am embarrassed to be either Bonnie. There would just be more questions than I care to answer.
And yet, there’s another important ingredient in my primo spanko gumbo. I am sometimes aroused by a little bit of danger. Oh, I don’t mean base jumping or running for political office. Nothing like that. Randy likes to play my fear of disclosure against my curious attraction to the flame of risk.
In years past, that meant spankings in semi-public places – a limousine, a deserted bar, beaches and forests, the back of a truck, and lots of hotel rooms. Each of these experiences had that intoxicating mix of risk and excitement.
Since then, we’ve transitioned to more subtle flirtations with disaster. We go for hikes in our favorite parks. In these warmer months, Randy encourages me to wear shorts that are not quite long enough to conceal fresh red crop marks at the top of my thighs. It’s not just one mark that could be easily explained away as a scratch and the shape is pretty unmistakable. Yep, it's hard to deny I got punished.
On one hand, I’m horrified that someone will recognize my marks and remark, “That poor lady got a butt whoopin'." On the other, I am thrilled to be just a tiny bit out. I am spanko. Hear me yelp. And I’m not ashamed. Yes, I was spanked today and I’m grateful and happy.
How much danger is there really? Probably not too much I suppose, but it’s enough to get my juices flowing. And what a great excuse for a spanking, a hike in the woods, and a roll in the sheets later.
7 comments :
There is something so exhilarating about that element of risk. Scary, but exciting. I suppose I am an un-closeted exhibitionist, but my exhibitionism was always carefully calculated and in places that were sanctioned (at parties, on video, etc.). The times I forayed into the taboo areas had that little bit of extra zest!
This is such great writing! I am very closeted and very much an exhibitionist; so this spoke to me! Thank you!
You lucky woman, you! Those are exciting moments!
In the words of the great Popeye, "I yam what I yam," and it took meeting a bunch of fine folks with the same fetish via the Web for me to understand myself, and be at peace, knowing I wasn't a complete weird-o!
A few allegedly "vanilla" friends and one son know about my Wolfie-tivities, and there might be others who have seen my cartoons without knowing they know the cartoonist! I'm not embarrassed about it at all, myself, but for the comfort of those who might be, I haven't made a complete revelation.
Erica - You are so right about the zest! There's a line out there, and it's different for each of us, that is fun to approach and exhilarating to cross, if only briefly.
Jean Marie - Thank you. I don't know how many spankos share this affection for risk, but it's always been one element of my kink.
Wolfie - It's always great to hear from you. I am a lucky woman indeed!
I long ago drew this line between the public and private (or vanilla versus spanko if you prefer). I've been fairly vigilant about maintaining the division, which makes the occasional measured dalliance all the more thrilling.
Love it Bonnie, there is nothing like the risk of being caught with a little al fresco spanking to heighten the experience. We have done this on numerous occasions similar to you. We also attended a BDSM party once and Rick spanked me there.
Hugs
Roz
Roz - You'd think Randy and I would be too old for these escapades. We've toned it down a bit, but it's still exciting.
"I am spanko. Hear me yelp." Love it!
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