Coping with Hate

Readers tell me that they most want to hear about me getting my bubble busted. I do have those stories and I will share them as time allows. Today, however, I have another topic I need to discuss. If you really prefer a spanking fix, I invite you to explore fourteen years of MBS archive.

I spend a lot of time managing the links you see at the right. Part of the job involves searching for new spanko blogs. I perform searches, follow links, and accept recommendations. In each case, I find myself touring a potential spanko link and evaluating whether I think our MBS readers would enjoy the content. I try to be open-minded and link spanking sites even when their content doesn’t necessarily align with my own kinky preferences.

There have always been sites that I reject. Often these are too extreme or simply off topic. When I find such a site, I move on to the next potential link without giving it another thought. In the last couple years, though, I have seen a disturbing growth in sites dedicated to the abuse, denigration, subjugation, and violation of women and girls. Some of these men hold a grudge over some past slight. They appear to be offended by our very existence. Some claim that women are merely pleasure objects to be used. They promote non-consensual rape and mutilation. I find these people terrifying. I fear for their victims.

Of course I don’t link them, but what else can we do as a community?

• We can spread the word. Kinky women, especially those who are new to the scene, need to be aware of this danger and know the common sense precautions that limit their risk. Let us generously share what we’ve learned with our younger sisters.


• We can promptly report violent abusers to the authorities. Criminal acts should be never be excused or dismissed. Consent matters. Too late is too late.


• We can support one another. Embrace the victims. Encourage and empower them. They are not to blame. We share their burden together.


• We can begin to educate political decision makers, the media, law enforcement, and the general public about healthy kink. We understand that rough sex is completely different from domestic violence. But they don’t. The concept of consent is familiar in the vanilla world and equally applicable here.

One potential measure I didn’t mention above is direct confrontation. Extreme views arise from years of not listening to reason. Why would they listen to us now? A better strategy is to appeal to the majority of virtuous men who have the ability to watch out, intervene, and protect when necessary. To these allies, I ask you to please help us live and love. We are truly all in this life together.