Hi! We're busy making preparations for Love Our Lurkers 8 on Tuesday, but definitely not too busy for a community brunch. Our question this week comes from our good friend, Michael.
Now that you've gained experience in giving or receiving spankings, what, if anything, would you have changed during your first adult spanking experience?
The procedure is the same as usual. I encourage you to share your thoughts in the form of a comment below. At the conclusion of the weekend, I will post an edited summary.
Saturday, November 09, 2013
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17 comments :
Just about everything...
Having always thought spanking would remain a private unfulfilled fantasy I was dumbfounded when my wife expressed an interest. (Of course I could have discussed it with her, but such topics weren't so accepted in the ''80s.)
Consequently I was nervous and tentative, not wanting to hurt her.
Fortunately J was better able to explain her desires and limits, we persevered and have spanked (and much else ) happily ever since.
But if I could turn back time I'd approach our maiden spanking voyage with greater confidence and spank a good deal harder!
The first spanking was not as long or as hard as I would have liked. But it was what Dragon could do. It took a little practice to get it right. I wouldn't change a thing
I don't think I would change anything about the first time Tyler spanked me...the spankings now after 3 yrs are worse for sure...it seems each time he spanks he steps up his game...so from the first spanking to now has been growing...everything starts off small then gets bigger as it grows...gotta start some where
My first spanking was too light and too short, but yet perfect in its own way. It told me two important things. My husband was willing to listen and try for what I wanted and that yes! I like it in real life as much as I thought I would.
The only think I would have changed was that it should have taken place about twenty years earlier.
I'll address my first real spanking experience after my marriage ended. (In my marriage, it was just a little erotic spanking. But I did have to tell him I wanted it, and then he did it occasionally.) ]
I would have made it - or the one which followed a few days after - a bit harder. It was plenty long enough, but it could have been harder spanks at the end. I wanted something more overwhelming. I would have liked at least one implement. But, then, I have to say it was still very exciting and showed me that I do like this stuff, even if I don't like the label "spanko".
I would have been more assertive about my wants/needs and less willing to let others tell me what I should want. It's a lesson many of us have to learn, sadly.
My first adult spanking experience occurred in college and I was a bit tentative so in retrospect I would have spanked the young lady longer and harder.
The first time I spanked my wife Season (though we were not yet married) I planned things out ahead of time, though it did include some spontaneity, and it was an amazing experience so I wouldn't change a thing.
Really looking forward to LOL Day, Bonnie.
My first adult spanking occurred with someone I had been dating. I'm hardwired as a Spanko my whole life, so I tested the waters first with a few well timed jokes. Something along the lines of "Careful, you're going to get spanked if you keep that up" style comments delivered with a smile. It fostered some conversations as we continued dating.
So the first spanking was more playful and almost like a role-play. I won't go into details, but afterward we decided to use spanking for play, foreplay and added some "rules" for more disciplinary style spankings.
So I guess I wouldn't change anything. I look back and understand now that that relationship is what guided me toward what would later be known as a Domestic Discipline relationship and set me on a course to later grow as a HoH.
Great question Micheal, thanks for bringing it to us Bonnie :)
#MrBBSpanker
My first spanking experience was all wrong. I was nervous and over excited and worried about hurting the lady. I couldn't bring myself to give her more than a few tentative spanks and whilst I enjoyed the experience it didn't seem quite what I wanted. After a few more similar experiences I finally worked out what was wrong. Although I had always had an interest in spanking I had misunderstood my own desires. I didn't want to spank ladies, I wanted them to spank me. I then had number of spankings from various women and they varied immensely but then I met my current spanking partner and realised that I had finally found exactly what I wanted. She's been spanking, caning and generally beating me for over 15 years now and I couldn't be happier.
I'd been fantasizing about spanking ever since I could remember and I'd sort of sprung it on my husband 15 years into our marriage so I'd have to say our first spanking experience was - awkward - but given that, I wouldn't change a thing about it.
The spanking itself was much much much much less than I could take physically - my husband still had to wrap his brain around the whole idea of spanking. I think he thought of it as 'hitting' me. He's come a long way since...
Anyhow, we had put the kids to bed and went into the back room - farthest from where the kids sleep. He had me lay across his lap (I'm thinking I was in lingerie of some sort but can't remember), rubbed a little then spanked. My first thought - and I think his too - was 'whoa, that's loud!' It carried on from there, certainly nothing like my fantasies but those days following were some of the most intimate between us ever.
We're about 10 months into this now and I've learned I do not have 'buns of steel' at all ;) Spanking has opened up a whole other level of intimacy between us. There are ups and downs, like everything else, but we're closer than before and more open because of it.
If I had known then what I know now, I would not have felt embarrassed and somewhat ashamed to ask to be spanked. I would have stated my preference confidently, knowing that I was one of many who felt the same and had the same desires and needs.
As Michael mentioned, my first adult spanking was from him. We met online and when it became clear we were falling in love, Michael booked a flight so we could finally meet in person. He told me that one of the things that would happen on the day he arrived would be my first spanking. I had 3 months of anticipation to get through! It was a day of many firsts - our first touch, first kiss, first time looking deeply into each other's eyes. And later that day, he took my hand and led me into the bedroom, and the moment finally arrived. Michael created a perfect experience. The best description would be "sweet ouchiness" delivered with respect and love. I would not change a thing.
My first spanking was short and to the point. Rob made a statement and message was understood. "No poking"! I remember wondering if he had secretly been to HoH school or something. It showed me that not only was he willing to try this for me, but that he was able to use it for the greater good of our marriage. It was a surprise and I don't think I'd change much about that day. I do think that I had expected more of a fun, sexy spanking first. Rob has since made up for that! ;)
My first was out of the blue, just,"You need a good spanking young lady", and in a flash I found myself bent over D's knee, and his palm drumming away on the seat of my thin tight skirt. He set me back on my feet; my bottom was tingling happily, but I was also very excited, which I quickly showed D. Looking back on that spanking, I think it might have even better, if it had been nearer to those I get now; skirt up, panties down, and perhaps my hairbrush raising a real smart on my bare cheeks. S.
Michael has it about right...me topping her. Her topping me, also took some adjustment but has greatly improved over time
houston_switch
If I could've changed anything about that first experience, I would've infused my husband somehow with assurance that he wasn't doing anything wrong. He is a natural leader, and an Alpha for sure, but he thought for sure that "hitting" me was just not okay. It took us a few times to get into the swing of things, but my how he has grown into it! He tells me now that he enjoys my squirming and also enjoys the fact that he is in control of everything for the good of our family :)
I would have asked for more, longer, harder, more frequently and told him what it did to me. Naturally I did none of these things, so years went by before we finally entered into the spirit properly. I suppose courage was lacking and it took time to know each other well enough to take pleasure from spanking.
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