Saturday, September 28, 2013

MBS Spanko Brunch #402

Last week, I promised something different for this week's brunch. In fact, it's something we've never tried before.

Today is my birthday, and to celebrate, I'd like to turn the tables. Here is your chance to ask me questions. I will do my best to answer them.

So, what would you like to ask?

Thanks, everyone, for your great questions!


SirQsmlb said...

Happy birthday, Bonnie!!!!

Do you consider yourself a thrill seeker? What's the most daring thing you've done?

Hugs, fiona


Many happy returns and enjoy your birthday spanking.

My Question - What is the most meanest or cleverest or most imaginative trick that you have had played on you, by a spanker, as an excuse to make you earn more swats or strokes during a spanking?


Hermione said...

Hi Bonnie,

Happy birthday! What a lovely cake. I hope there is enough to go around; there are sure to be plenty of brunch attendees this week.

I have a question that I have wondered about for a long time. You have said in the past that when you want Randy to give you a spanking, you wear a pink thong. That doesn't seem like an immediately obvious signal, so how does he find out that you are wearing one?

Does Randy also have a signal for wanting to spank you sometime in the near future?


Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday!
I've read a lot of your stories and I love them!Do you think you will ever write a book?

Roz said...

Happy Birthday Bonnie!

I'm sure you have probably already covered this so please forgive me if you have. Do you spank for discipline/punishment or only erotic/stress relief spanking. If not do you wish you did?

chickadee said...

Happy birthday! I'm concerned about the size of the cake being enough for the number of guests you've invited.

What fictional character (TV movies books) do you most relate to and why?

Bonnie said...

Thanks, everyone, for your questions. Let's get started.

Fiona - I've never considered myself as such, but, yes, thrill seeker probably fits. However, it's confined to a fairly narrow domain. You won't find me jumping out of an airplane or racing cars. However, a semi-public spanking with a hint of exhibitionism does indeed thrill me.

The most daring episode might have been a spanking in the back of a moving limousine. We're a bit more reserved these days, but there are still some surprises.

Prefectdt - My dear husband has lots of clever/mean tricks associated with prolonged spankings. Faulty counting is a fairly regular occurrence, but I wouldn't characterize that one as clever. Another common stunt is where he promises me n swats and then delivers 2n swats because "this small paddle can only spank one cheek at a time." For the record, I've never received half as many when the paddle is large.

Then there are the bonus questions. Randy likes to ask me questions in the middle of a spanking as I am draped over his lap. We've established that I cannot think straight when someone is hitting my bottom with a paddle. Nevertheless, Randy feels as though this is a good time to test my knowledge of trivia. When I give a wrong answer or fail to answer, I must endure the painful consequences. I would be so much easier if he just spanked me until he was done, but no, it can't be that easy.

Hermione - The great thing about virtual cake is that it lasts forever.

Actually, the signal thong can be any color, though he particularly likes pink. Sometimes, he doesn't notice right away and I have to provide a less subtle hint. More often, though, he will check me out when we embrace. This happens every day when he arrives home from work. I expect his hands will explore my bottom as we reconnect. My sexy secret is typically discovered very quickly.

Randy's signal is generally an implement such as a paddle or hairbrush left in a conspicuous place like the bedside table or dresser. This leaves no doubt as to his intentions.

Anon - It's been suggested that I already have. :) I've considered many interesting side projects, but it comes down to a question of time and energy. At least for now, I don't feel that I can effectively balance home, work, my relationship with Randy, this blog, plus another project. Perhaps someday I will retire and dedicate more time to writing. If that happens, a book is a definite possibly.

Roz - We spank for a great many reasons. I am submissive and if Randy decides that a spanking is necessary, I am spanked. Punishment is not a part of our dynamic because he doesn't think I deserve to be punished. If he were to change his mind, I would willingly bend over and accept that spanking.

The second half of your question is quite interesting. The whole traditional corporal punishment scenario with all the rituals has always appealed to me. I harbor vivid fantasies that scream to be played out. I've been the truant schoolgirl in the principal's office. I've been the naughty cheerleader caught making out with the quarterback under the bleachers. I've been the careless secretary spanked over the desk, and so forth.

There's something about being called to account that's a huge turn-on for me. Would it feel the same if it were real life infractions? I imagine not, but with Randy it's doubtful, I will ever find out.

Bonnie said...

Chickie - Fear not, we have plenty of virtual cake.

That's a good question. My first thought is Trinity from the Matrix. I want to be smart and strong and cool and beautiful (and the costume is amazing). But I'm not quite that independent.

The key for me is to be strong enough to be able to choose to not use that strength sometimes. Does that make any sense?

Other times, I yearn to be the impetuous young woman who gets a well deserved spanking from a handsome older man and in the process recognizes the wisdom of his words. I always wished that Gone with the Wind included a spanking scene. The story might have had a happier ending.

sunnygirl said...

Happy Birthday Bonnie.

I can't think of a single question to ask so just good wishes for a great birthday spanking and a good year filled with more of the same.

ronnie said...

Bonnie hello,

Many happy returns. Hope you have a wonderful day.

Will you get a birthday spanking?

If I remember correctly, you've never tried the cane. Is it something you would like to try? Maybe a fantasy of yours.


Bonnie said...

SG - Thank you!

Ronnie - I've already received one birthday spanking last night and indications are there could be another.

We have a cane, but it's just a small one. Randy uses it in a fast, flicking sort of motion that builds the heat gradually.

I've long wondered what a serious punishment type cane might be like, but I haven't experienced it. Not being British, the cane is not a part of my long-held fantasies. But that doesn't prevent me from being curious.

Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday Bonnie!

Perhaps a bit off topic, but here's one of my favorite questions: What is the greatest compliment you've ever received?

Bonnie said...

Kia - That's not off-topic. I think perhaps the compliment I most treasure is being told that I am a good friend. I would be proud to be remembered that way,

Dragon's Rose said...

Happy birthday!!!

How did you discover your love of spanking? And one more. Which one of you brought it up first?

Bonnie said...

DR - For me, it wasn't so much a matter of discovering my love of spanking as it was recognizing what had always been present. I've had this interest for as long as I can recall.

As for my start with Randy, you can read about it here and make up your own mind. We each think we first raised the issue. In either case, once we started, there was no turning back.

sixofthebest said...

Dear Bonnie, Happy Birthday to our one and only 'spanking queen'. Here is my question. At what age or moment in life, did you first know that you liked being spanked on your bare bottom.

Bonnie said...

Six - Thanks. Honestly, I don't know. There was no breakthrough moment or triggering event. I can tell you that I fantasized about being spanked by a big, handsome man as far back as early elementary school. At that stage, it wasn't sexual. It was more a recurring aspiration. I didn't know why I wanted this, it simply was.

Florida Dom said...

Am I allowed multiple questions? If so, how intense are your spankings? Do they make you cry? Get you wet? And how red are the marks and how long do they last? And do you start missing it if you go a few days without one? Do you ever ask for them or does he always decide?

Happy birthday and look forward to you retiring and writing a book. You have done so much to bring this community together and are a treasure. With you starting Love Our Lurkers, I might have remained a lurker and missed out on a lot.


Bonnie said...

FD - Yes, you may ask multiple questions

The intensity of our spankings varies great depending upon the situation and intent.

For reasons I don't fully understand, I very seldom cry during a spanking.

Wet? Ah, um, yeah. Every time, regardless of the intended purpose.

Like the spankings themselves, marks vary greatly from one spanking to the next. My bottom has been as red as this page on many occasions. However, there have been other times when I absorbed what I thought was a very painful spanking and emerged with no marks at all.

Yes, I do miss my spankings when forced to go without for an extended time.

I can ask, but Randy ultimately decides. I've learned that when I ask, the spanking that follows will be especially thorough, presumably to ensure that I won't feel neglected any time soon.


Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday Bonnie.


Bonnie said...

Joey - Thank you! :)

Loki_Darksong said...

Happy Birthday, Bonnie, my fellow Libran.

Do you think that the Spanking Community has become more conservative over the years with its view of itself and relations with other Kink Communities compared to how things were ten or so years ago?

Bonnie said...

Loki - I can't speak for the community as a whole, but here's what I think.

Ten years ago, the spanking community wasn't as coherent and self-aware as we are today. I think this more fully developed identity today allows us to be more accepting of our kinky neighbors. Because we know who we are, there is no need to construct fences. We are free to invite others in even as we explore further ourselves.

There has always been a lot of overlap between spanking enthusiasts and, say, bondage enthusiasts. Neither group is, or should be, exclusive and we can learn a lot from each other. In this context, it might be more accurate to talk about spheres of influence rather than discrete communities. People often don't fit within a single label or classification. I know Randy and I don't.

As we celebrate our diversity, we open the door to new people and new ideas that strengthen the collective us. This is a positive step forward.

Don said...

Dear Bonnie,
Happy Birthday...If I may ask...Where do you stand on the fun spank vs erotic spank vs punishment spank vs discipline spank debate?
And do you have to endure Randy's birthday spanks as well as your own?

Bonnie said...

Don - Thank you, and yes, you may ask...

I suggest there are many reasons why people spank. In addition to the five types you name, there are also stress relief, reconnection, role play, and motivation. All can be valid in the context of the people who share them.

Randy doesn't see a need for punishment, but we acknowledge that other couples find it beneficial.

Yes, I accept Randy's birthday spanking too. It's generally a fun celebration.

bobbsroom said...

Hi there Bonnie and a very happy birthday to you. Thank you for the time and effort you put into your blog, i enjoy it immensely and wish i had more time to concentrate on mine.
Your post on your first spanking was very interesting, i often read blogs and wonder how like minded people drift into spanking relationships without going to specialist clubs.

Do you believe in destiny or that we are just very lucky to meet are perfect partners.


Bonnie said...

Bob B - You're very welcome.

I consider myself extremely lucky to have met my (nearly) perfect match relatively early in life. We met in college and clicked right away. Had I not met Randy, there's no telling how my story would have played out. I'm happy to not know.

Jenny said...

(1) Where do you get those beautiful pictures of food for every Brunch? Food is difficult to photograph.

(2) What do you think about just before, during, and after a spanking?

(3) Do you ever get spanked even though you do NOT want it?

(4) Have you ever had to end a spanking using a safeword or other indicator of extreme distress?

(5) How many people, other than those you met through this blog, know that you are spanked?

(6) What did you think of the people that you met in person through your blog writing?

Subgirl said...

Happy birthday Bonnie, and thank you for your fantastic blog. I would like know whether you and Randy keep any separation between spanking and sex, i.e do you ever get a spanking which is just a spanking, or is there always an erotic component leading to one or both of you having an orgasm?

R&K - Our journey in DD said...

Happy birthday Bonnie!
I hope your birthday spankings were enjoyable!

My question is...does any of your friends or family know about this blog?

Bonnie said...

Jenny - I'd love to tell you that I lovingly prepare all that great food and then carefully photograph and retouch each of the pictures. But that's not quite how it happens. The photos are from the internet.

As for what I think about, it depends upon where my mind is. If I am living in the moment, I'll be thinking about the spanking and how it feels and how I feel about receiving it and what Randy is doing and so forth. Other times, I might be living out a role play where I imagine what it might be like to be someone else. Occasionally, for whatever reason, I am not as into it as I should be. In this case, I might be thinking about my grocery list or something I need to do at work.

The actual spanking inevitably brings me back to the here and now. It hurts. Sometimes the pain is bad and I want it to stop. Other times, It's all right. It just depends upon my mindset.

Afterward, I feel small, calm, and contented. I want to snuggle in close and be comforted.

Yes, I do get spanked sometimes when that wouldn't be my choice. But yielding to his will can be exciting.

Yes, I've used my safeword before. There have been times when I just could not continue. I recall one time when I injured my back and another when I became sick. Our rule is that safewording doesn't cancel a spanking. It only postpones it until things get back to normal. At that point, the spanking restarts from the beginning.

Very few people in the real world know about our kink. I think our grown daughter has a pretty good idea but we've never discussed it.

I haven't met any people in real life through the blog. This is Randy's choice.

SG - We don't always have sex immediately after a spanking, but there is always a sexual element. For us, spanking is another flavor of sex.

Kim - No. None of our real world friends or family know about this blog. Were they reading here, I would not feel free to discuss our relationship as I do.

Indy said...

Happy birthday, Bonnie!

I'm a big fan of turning the tables, especially in spanking play. I know switching doesn't work for you, but this is a great idea for turning the tables.

My question is: have you ever engaged in F/F spanking or fantasized about being spanked by a woman?

Bonnie said...

Indy - Thank you! I won't say never, but my spanking desires have always been M/F.

Anonymous said...

I am a long time lurker. Would you please describe this year's birthday spanking. Did Randy uses the big paddle?

Anonymous said...

oh how rude of me, I forgot to say "Happy Birthday Bonnie!" I hope you have trouble sitting tomorrow! ;)

Enzo said...

Happy Birthday Bonnie! May your birthday wishes all come true.

My question(s):
Something I have often wondered of other spankers; do you enjoy other bottom-erotic related things as well? In other words, do you enjoy, rectal temperature taking, wetting accidents, pantie shopping/collecting, etc. or are you strictly into spanking?

Do you think the majority of spankers you know cross over to these other areas or are predominately only into spanking?

Kenzie said...

I don't have a question to ask, but I want to wish you a very happy birthday!! :)

Loki_Darksong said...

I am glad that you do see things in this light, Bonnie. The Spanking Community is relatively young, just around twenty or so years, and still a bit skittish at times. I was not aware of any strained relations between The Spanking Community and the S/M Community until joining Fetlife a few years ago.

I have tried to work out issues that Spankos have developed against the S/M'ers, I myself being one. But my efforts have been met with lots of resistance that borders on open hostility. Still one has to be hopeful.

Bonnie said...

Anon - There were actually two birthday spankings. The official one happened Friday night. Randy counted up and then counted down wielding the trusty brunch all the while. It was hard and it hurt, but it was a fine way to kick off my birthday.

Saturday night was another matter entirely. In our bedroom illuminated only by candlelight, Randy rubbed me down with warm scented oil and then gave me a delightful hand spanking across his lap. By this point, we were both naked. It was as much massage as it was spanking and we really enjoyed it. This celebration quickly slipped into other sorts of adult fun.

The scary paddle did not make an appearance this year.

Enzo - Thank you!

Rectal temperature taking - No

Wetting accidents - No

Panty shopping - Absolutely

Kenzie - Thank you! :)

Loki - I think it's a matter of education and understanding on all sides. We are far more alike than we are different.

Cara Bristol said...

HI Bonnie! I'm a little late to the party, but I just wanted to say Happy Birthday!

Bonnie said...

Cara - Thank you!

Katie said...

Hi Bonnie!! :). Belated Happy Birthday to you! Looks like you had a nice celebratory time with Randy. :). I sure liked the sound of the second birthday spanking! Good man that you have there! I will have to tell Rob about that one! Lol.

My question is: What inspired you to start listing all the different bloggers? Connecting people with each other, etc.? What you do for all of us in the land must be very time consuming at times. The connections with other bloggers have led to friendships and reading posts that can bring life changes to many I'm sure! Thanks for all of that! :) Many hugs and Happy Birthday!

<3 Katie

Bonnie said...

Katie - Thank you! I've had a blogroll since the first day of this blog. Originally, it included a few blogging friends plus some big, popular blogs that I hoped might introduce my blog to more friends. This strategy worked eventually, but for the first few months, it felt like I was writing for myself.

What I learned in the process was that small blogs need love and clicks a lot more than the big ones do. With visits come comments and with comments come friendships. Just as an oak tree can grow from an acorn, community can arise from a link. I decided that I wanted to help readers discover brilliant new blogs where one supportive comment could make the difference between success and an abandoned effort.

Maintaining the blogroll is a lot of work, but it's definitely worthwhile!

houston_switch said...

Happy Belated Birthday Bonnie...

Terpsichore said...

Happy belated birthday, Bonnie! Great questions and answers! :-) Hugs

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