Joeyred's topic of the week was deceptively straight forward, and yet intriguing complicated. How has being a spanko changed your life? Here are your thoughts.
Kitty: This question is seemingly so simple, but upon reflection, the answer becomes complex. So, in a word - Completely! That's how it has changed my life.
I didn't know I enjoyed this until the first time it happened. Then I found that the benefits (pain relief, stress relief, and connection) greatly exceeded any inhibitions that I harbored. I have become a more open and relaxed individual. I have found a non-substance related way to escape and relax, and I have met a lot of really wonderful people, including Joeyred, if only virtually.
Daisy Christian: It has given my marriage a spark that it never had before. I'm more of a spanko than Tyler and that can be rough. I crave, need, and desire it, but I think he can take it or leave it. I approach life and new things in general differently now.
I'm sorry I didn't know Bas, but his blog is great. Hugs to all my friends who are hurting.
Hermione: Being a spanking enthusiast, and more specifically a spanking blogger, has allowed me to meet a large number of like-minded individuals with whom I can share my thoughts, desires, frustrations and triumphs. I have finally found a group that I fit into and where I can be myself.
Sunnygirl: I met Bas and all the other lovely people here in our little community.
Chickie: Being a spanko hasn't changed me, at least not yet, as it's still a fairly new concept. Feelings that have been there since I was a very young girl now have a name. But knowing there's a name for it hasn't changed me either. It's this process of discovery that's changed me so much. Learning that these thoughts are okay and that there are others like me has been huge. I'm slowly growing closer to my husband as I'm growing closer to my inner self. I think the biggest thing was finding this community of people. So being a spanko hasn't changed me in the slightest yet. It's been all of you that I've found. You are what changed my life!
Our Bottoms Burn: I have been a spanko all my life. I started spanking at 14/15 and I have never quit. Perhaps Joey meant how has sharing my spanking interest with others changed my life. It has made me feel completely normal as I have found acceptance of my kink with others. And I am not talking about blogland. Bacall and I have met well over a 100 kindred spirits. We would suggest that others might benefit from being a little more open to real life encounters.
Lea: It's made it a lot more fun! I've met incredible people from all across the country and even outside of it through this common thread of kink. Some I met in person and some online through groups and blogging. I can't even imagine not knowing all of these wonderful friends and I doubt we ever would've crossed paths otherwise.
Bob B: I have always been into spanking and for the most part, I have always told the person I was seeing that it was a big turn on. I have to say I have been extremely lucky in life and in finding the lovely ladies I was happy to call girlfriends.
What changed my life dramatically was when I started spanking others apart from my wife and then starting a spanking blog. The details will unfold in my blog, but to find a community of spankers that shared thoughts and aspirations, to get into the minds of the wonderful people, both cyber and in the flesh, made me feel normal for want of a better word. It does not matter whether they are lurkers or prolific bloggers, there is always something to learn. Because of that, I am going in directions I could only have dreamed about a few years ago.
Thank you one and all.
Reece Seever: For me, it is a work in progress. And, while we have been doing this for about eight years, what it does for me and for my wife changes, sometimes in some fairly dramatic ways.
When we first took up spanking of the DD variety, it was all about trying to bring about changes in me such as changing my behavior and reducing my "type-A" assertive, domineering tendencies. It also gave my wife a way to act on her frustrations. As time has gone by, that last one has become more important, as has my wife's enjoyment of and desire for the act of spanking me and making me submit.
In short, as time goes by, our DD and spanking has become less about what it does for me and more about it does for her. While it is always a work in progress, it has definitely made her more confident, more assertive, and less frustrated.
Ronnie: I am grateful for the wonderful people I've met here in our community.
Kia: I think this has always been a part of me and therefore, there was no specific change with being a spanko. However, becoming more active in the spanko community (even just as a lurker at first) has changed me dramatically. I've made many wonderful friends, gained a deeper understanding of this part of my nature, and also learned plenty of vanilla things as well. Not only has my writing ability grown, but I think I've learned more about politics, spirituality, and history from discussions with spankos than with any classes on these subjects. When a group has a sensitivity to prejudice in one area, I think they can become more willing to have open-minded discussions on other sensitive subjects as well.
Terpsichore: Being a spanko has always been a part of me, though in my youth I did not understand it. I simply had passing thoughts and daydreams. I did not realize how deeply connected it is to my sexuality and being until much later and the fantasies continued.
What changed for me was when I took the chance to explore this part of myself and met people here who I grew to respect and who accepted me for who I was. For me, sharing that secret part of myself allowed me to be more open with my husband and I fell in love with him all over again. While he may never understand my need and never embrace it in the way I do, he accepts me for me and loves me truly. And the friendships I have made here are true. So are the wonderful relationships I have made. The total honesty and intimacy with my husband has grown, and the person who had the most difficult time accepting this part of herself - me - now embraces that side. That is how being a spanko has changed my life.
Thank you Joey for the great question. And thank you Bonnie for hosting brunch. Everyone is honoring Bas is their own way and I think Bas would be happy. :-)
Houston Switch: My condolences to the Bas family and friends, real life and virtual...
Thanks to Bonnie, several years ago I started reading this blog and then others. I have become comfortable within my own skin, and define myself as a spanko among other descriptors.
Thanks Bonnie... rest in peace Bas.
Bonnie: When the question was first posed, my initial response was that being a spanko hasn't changed me at all because I cannot recall a time when I was not a spanko. Similarly, my relationship with Randy included spanking almost from the beginning.
However, the implications of being a spanko have brought many changes over the years. The biggest, as others observed, was discovering a community of like-minded friends upon the arrival of the internet. I didn't see that development coming at all, but it certainly enriched our lives by providing guidance, support, enlightenment, inspiration, and friendship. Long live our cyber spanko family!