Recap: MBS Sunday Brunch for July 28

Our topic this week was reigniting a couple's passion for spanking. Here are your thoughts.

PK: I obviously have no answer, but I'll be reading what other have to say.

Dragon's Rose: I hand him the paddle and tell him to get busy. It's a little topping from the bottom.

Hermione: This happened to us a few years ago. After a prolonged absence of spanking, my husband set aside some time for the two of us to be alone. We went to a relative's unoccupied apartment and had some sexy fun that included spanking. After three day trips to the apartment, we both realized how much we had missed spanking and vowed never to let it fall by the wayside again.

Sunny Girl: I need some suggestions. I will be checking back in later.

Bob B: My spark or even flame never goes out, it is always there. For my wife, it is different because it does nothing for her but she knows it turns me on. We went through a long period of no sex or spanking because we drifted apart and I was not showing her any respect or giving her the love she needed. Once I sorted myself out and made her feel loved and cherished, the red stripy bottom came back. I think it takes a very special person to put yourself through a spanking and caning because it enhances sex for your partner, but she says it turns her on because it turns me on. I am a very lucky man.

Jenny: I have no real advice either. I have at times resorted to gentle jokes and reminders, but right now, we are in a several-month lull. I'm not very inclined to remind him about spanking again, mostly due to my questioning of this lifestyle for us. First, he is really a pure vanilla who only did this for me. Second, other bloggers disappeared after saying that it saved their relationship (Sara). It makes me question the whole thing. Maybe it is just a fantasy that I am trying to live out in real life - and that may be asking too much.

Anon: Flaunt it! Drum tight skirts, straining jeans, short skirts giving a flash of bare bot, and a nicely timed bend over will soon get your man's palm back in action.

Marie Pinkerton: We've gone in cycles where real life has postponed spanking action, and then eventually picked it back up. I don't really remember anything in particular as having reignited it.

I think it's one of those "out of sight, out of mind" things. If we don't do it for long enough, we'll forget about it. As soon as one of us remembers, the flame is back on and the butt on fire again.

Terpsichore: Oh please do share...

Bonnie: For the sake of this discussion, let's assume the two people in question have simply drifted away from spanking due to other priorities, as opposed to making a firm decision to abandon this activity. In the latter case, the following list may not be adequate.

Here are ten suggestions:

1. Talk. Only though open communication can you each know where your partner stands. What you perceive to be a problem may be a simple misunderstanding.


2. Make it fun. This could involve sex, but laughter works too.


3. Move physically closer to your partner. Position yourself so that the two of you touch more often – on the couch, while walking together, in bed, and elsewhere. Demonstrate your affection with a gentle touch.


4. Provide positive feedback. Let your partner know when they do something you like. Non-verbal communication is particularly effective here. :)


5. Make a date. You're never too old or too married to share a date. If you schedule your time together, it is much more likely to happen. Randy and I particularly like our standing weekly date, but some couples have to be more flexible.


6. Set up a signal. It's fun to share a secret that only the two of you understand. It could be a codeword or an object or gesture. In any case, you can agree that it means “I want/need to spend some spanking time with you.”


7. Blog or journal about how you feel. Share your writings with your partner when it makes sense to do so.


8. Buy a new implement as a gift. Nothing says spanking like a nice new leather paddle.


9. Employ supportive words and a soothing tone. Try to make your partner feel glad to be with you.


10. Failing all that, that whole bending over and shaking your bottom routine is often remarkably effective.

Thank you all for joining our brunch gathering.