Do you or your partner shed tears before, during, or after receiving a spanking? If so, would you attribute these tears to pain, disappointment, stress relief, a combination of these, or another reason?
If you would like to answer our question, please enter your response in the form of a comment below. At the end of the weekend, I will post an edited summary.
25 comments :
When I make some mischief, my Master spanks me like "remedial". This means that only him can dispose a certain amount of whippings arbitrarily, the place and right moment. This according to the seriousness of my behavior.
On these occasions I usually mourn, during and after receiving the punishment. I guess it's a mix between discipline and principally my regret of not being able to meet the expectations of my Master.
IMO as a HoH/Spanker: tears from Disciplinary Spanking come more naturally from disappointment and pain
Emotionally all tears can be combined as a cathartic release and stress relieving
I cry every time that my spanker use the cane. This instrument represents for me the worst punishment imaginable and therefore i start to whimper even before receive the first stroke. I guess it's because i fear feel the cane. Each hit, for me is a torture. And during the period of time that elapses between blows, my legs shaking like a leaf.
i've only cried once towards the climax of a stress relief / grounding or centering spanking session, and BIKSS did continue on despite the fact that it was the first time he'd seen me shed tears from a spanking.
we both felt i had been so bottled up so that it wasn't too much of a surprise.
but when we have a "discussion" of mis-steps or when we're sorting thru some hurt, or argument, the forgiveness I feel from him at the end will ALWAYS leave me in tears. It comes both from having disappointed him, and being relieved at having a resolution and being back in sync.
I have never cried before, during or after, unless you count tears that are the result of laughing too hard.
Only had tears once.. It was a release from knowing I disappointed him (and myself!!). :)
Different spankings, different reactions. Typically it is simply a huge silly-grin on my face when we are done...that or I'm sailing off into space :)
I have cried, but it has been on rare occasions and typically when I have been stressed beyond reason and the tears aren't associated with the spanking as much as they're associated with the emotions that were causing the stress.
Unfortunately, no. While the thought of it terrifies me, I think that kind of cathartic release would an experience.
I rarely cry, I wish I did but I find it hard to let go in that manner. I find rage comes as a defence sometimes but that does not last. When his strength and will overcomes mine I can endure what he gives me and find only peace then. I should like to cry but I think focussing on tears is less likely to encourage them.
I never try to spank someone to tears. Most of the spankings I give are of the "just because it's fun", or maybe a few mock punishments (or "funishment"). But bringing someone to tears is never the goal. There have been a couple of times when it might have brought a tear or two to someone's eye, but almost never to full-out crying. That's just not what I'm about.
Dr. Ken
I have never had a female cry during or after a spanking. Many times we are laughing and just haveing a fun time.
For me, I have had tears well up in my eyes from the intensity of a hard caning. But, I cannot say that I cried during the spanking.
We are with Hermione; the only tears around here are the rare occasions when we are laughing so hard the tear come. There have been a few rather ridiculous spanking situations that had us both laughing hard.
I have cried a few times afterwards. Mostly from the thought of how much I disappointed him :(
Awhile back, my wife Joy requested that I spank her to the point of tears. It actually took a couple tries for us to get there. She took far more spanking than I thought she ever could, and I was frankly up against my own personal limit for hurting her before the dam burst. It not something we've repeated since then, but it's come up a time or two in late night conversations...
On a few occasions, my wife has shed tears from some of my spankings. As for myself, it has not happened to me yet. But I am curious on how it would feel to do so. I am envious a bit of women when they shed tears. I understand that it is a liberating experience.
Some of the men I've spanked cry, others do not. PC always cries both during and for a little while after a discipline spanking. His tears are partly from the pain and partly from remorse.
I have had others cry simply because it hurt and few, but not many, just let out a flood of pent up stress, emotion, and frustration.
But then I've had some who take very intense spankings and never shed a single tear.
People are so wonderfully unique. :)
No way, I'm far too excited about what is happening to my upturned bottom, and the thoughts of what will probably happen next, to start blubbing; anyway it would spoil my make-up ! S.
I have never cried during a session, once my Mistress decided that she would try to punish me until I cried but eventually gave up as the damage to my bottom was becoming to severe. Since I am taking part in these sessions for enjoyment I rather think crying would defeat the object, however I do appreciate that for some couples crying is part of the whole package. As with everything else it all comes down to the individuals and their own feelings.
I cry when I'm receiving a discipline spanking. I think it's more because I have a very strong personality and I tend to be willful. So while I know the discipline must be carried out, a part of me wants to resist. That willful, resistant side gets angry to the point of tears.
Once the spanking is over, and once aftercare has been given, I cry again because I'm so overwhelmed with the resulting feelings of subspace.
I have cried for many different reasons, emotional release, sadness from knowing I hurt him, mostly it's simply when I need to cry, and the spanking is the trigger...and bc I know I am in a safe place to let go.
Sara
I would like to cry. Once or twice I've felt close to crying, as his spankings have gotten harder and faster (at my request). Most recently, I recall that he surprised me by going over the expected count in my birthday spanking and that had me on edge as I wondered if I could tolerate any more. It was a hand, cane, and then wooden paddle spanking, as I recall. This was a couple of months ago. I loved it, actually! Later I told him that I expected him to stop at the "number" and he said that he just felt like continuing at that point. Alas, some personal issues have made me less excited about spanking since then (nothing serious for me, just friends' problems and muti-week household projects). His birthday is next week, though, and I've already asked to take his birthday spanking so I'm looking forward to that. I think I am ready for more of this now.
I really didn't answer the question, now did I? I think the tears will come from being overwhelmed by the onslaught of spanks and building pain. Before that birthday spanking, I thought disappointing him would be a major factor, but I was quite close to crying, and it was not a punishment at all. I do whimper as he reaches for a new implement and rubs it prior to starting to spank with it, which is sort of a buildup to crying. I recently saw a long belt spanking which had no emotional component (purely demonstration) and that girl cried when her friend increased the intensity and tempo. It was quite an automatic response - if he increased, she would cry and when he slowed down, she recovered and stopped crying. So I think disappointment and emotion as a precursor may be something we as spankees identify as a major component just because we feel emotion at times when the spanking is for punishment and there is genuine disappointment. We feel that we have disappointed the spanker, and if we cry, we put those two things together. I guess we should all try to have more "non-emotional, non-disappointment, non-stress relief" spankings as a test. And let us know how they turn out!
The first time I shed "spanking related" tears, it was *before* he spanked me. That was a punishment, and the tears were definitely due to contrition.
I have since cried during a spanking (also punishment) and I would attribute my tears to a combination of the vulnerability and contrition that I felt.
I don't cry from the physical pain unless there's an emotional connection to it.
Tears are not something we "aim for". Our aim is for my feelings of contrition and repentance to help me feel better. It also helps us to communicate better afterward.
Maintenance and erotic spanking has never brought me to tears. There are those combination ones though. Hmm. Come to think of it, I've shed tears *after* a spanking quite a number of times. Definitely contrition related. Interesting question Bonnie. I wrote this before I read the other comments. Now I'm very curious what the others said. :-)
My answer is simply "not yet". I hope to get spanked with enough physical and emotional intensity to fall over the emotional and pain cluff to get there...
houston_switch
That depends on the reason...I find great emotional release through spanking. Sometimes, if it is really stinging, it brings me to tears, because, I think, that is all I can do to get through it! Just let go, and get into it...
If it is a spanking because I have hurt or disappointed him in some way, then I cry before, during and after...because I am so upset to have let him - and myself - down.
If he is giving me a stress relief? Again, yes. I have no hangups or issues with, crying.
The only time I don't cry is when he is spanking me for losing my temper...and boy, do I lose it big time when I lose it. I am NOT submissive. I will scream, shout, be sarcastic and yes, downright rude and disrespectful, I argue and demand, and am altogether so beside myself with rage I don't even THINK of the inevitable consequences! At these times, (if it happened while we were together)he used to spank me there and then, (and when we were not, there have been occasions, in the early days, he would make me self spank on cam) and, no matter how hard or prolonged, no matter how scarlet my bottom became, my temper and rage outweighed all that.... cry? NEVER. Give in? NO WAY! I would DIE first! He would realise this and sensibly stop before any damage was done. He has learned over time to wait...let me calm down, then deliver the discipline, and, once calm and contrite, he would get the apology he needed and deliver the punishment earned which had me sobbing with shame at the way I had behaved!
So,to sum up.....
Stress relief... maybe before, (if stressed enough), most likely during and/or after.
Maintenance...not before, maybe during, probably after
Just because...not before, probably not during or after.
Discipline...probably before, most likely during and definitely after.
Erotic...Never.
Fun...Never
Great question, Bonnie! xxx
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