Sunday, January 08, 2012

Recap: MBS Sunday Brunch for Jan 8

Our topic of the week was the name used to refer to the person who spanks. I hope everyone enjoyed the dual poll and discussion format. I thought it made for a good change of pace. Here are your thoughts.

Sara: We use "husband" most often and "Head of Household" occasionally when referring to his role in our home. He definitely qualifies as a "spanker" and an occasional "disciplinarian" if need be (I always try to minimize that one). I never use "Sir" and I think Grant qualifies as "Something else!"

Mick: "Sir" didn't work for us. We describe me as being the leader. But I'm not sure I WANT to know what Lynda is calling me in her mind when she's being spanked.

Melly: When referring to his role, it's head of household, but more often than not, he's my husband.

Scunge: I refer to him mostly by his name, but if it is a discipline session, it's Sir. I do refer to him as my husband as well, though we are not married yet. Soon though. :)

Bobbie Jo: I refer to the person who spanks me as my "Top" because I like the term and I also refer to her as my friend, because she is. I think I call her "my friend" more than anything else. I really love her.

MarQe: I generally insist that my spankees call me Sir. It's very English school protocol and is what I grew up with.

Vanille: I call Her "Master" or "Fang." She likes both. In vanilla settings, of course, she's "my girlfriend" or "Fang" since Fang is a pretty darn vanilla-ish nickname so it flies pretty well over 'nilla radars. :)

Spanky: Kallisto doesn't often address me during spanking, but when she does, it's usually "Sir."

Hermione: When writing about him on my blog, I refer to the person who spanks me as my husband. When writing about spanking in general, I usually call the one who does the spanking the spanker. Very occasionally, I will use the word Top.

When we are together, I sometimes call my husband Sir. It happened accidentally once when I wanted to verbalize my feelings of submission, and it worked for both of us. So I say Sir from time to time, when the situation warrants it. We rarely call each other by our real names. With only two of us in the house, it doesn't seem necessary.

I like Sara's observation that calling the one who spanks by his blogging pseudonym qualifies as "Something Else."

Sunny Girl: He's always my husband or Babe or Honey or Sweetie. He's Sir only in jest, as in "Yes sir, right away, sir. No sir, three bags full sir."

Six of the Best: Both spanker and spankee are called by their given name.

Jean Marie: When I'm in mixed company (vanillas and kinksters), I call him my boyfriend, my lover, my man, or by name. When speaking to fellow spankos, I refer to him as my top because I adore being "under" him, literally during sex, and figuratively under his thumb, care, dominance, punishing hand, etc.

I sometimes call my boyfriend "Sir" during a session for fun. I always refer to MarQe that way in my correspondence with him because I sense he likes it, and I want to please him for fear that if we ever do get to play together, he'll whip the stuffing out of me!

Prefectdt: At the time of play, I like to use whatever title the Top feels most comfortable with. In general conversation, I prefer to use the term Top because it covers a whole range of personality types and play styles, without sounding too BDSMy. On the rare occasions when I top I prefer to be called Sir, as I a not a natural switch, but this title helps to get me into a dominant role play mind set.

Disciplined Boyfriend: Usually. it's a very grovelling Yes Dear, though sometimes Miss or Mistress and very occasionally, Lady C.

SublimeWifey: When I refer to him in comments on spanking blogs, I refer to him as my husband. Face to face, I call him by his name. I want to try titles like Sir or Master, at least when we play since that's not the dynamic of our marriage, but he's not a fan. I'll call him Sir to let him know I'm interested in playing, but titles aren't really a part of our playtime either. I'd do it if he wanted it, but it seems that's not the way he sees himself.

Kitty: I used to always call him by his first name, but over time what I call him has evolved to fit different circumstances.
  • If I'm around peers, I still refer to him by his first name.
  • If I'm around our children, I call him Daddy.
  • When we're alone, just the two of us, I call him Master. if I'm feeling especially submissive. But most of the time, I call him Daddy.
  • If I'm spanked for discipline, I'm required to call him Sir.
Dr. Ken: Mostly, I prefer "Ken". :-)

More often than not, I prefer the term "Spanker." I think that fits me the best. I'll use "Top" as it seems to be in more common usage, but "Spanker" better describes me.

Dee: I don't really use any of these terms. 'Sir' has been used, but neither of us are that comfortable with it (especially me :). However, I am required to say 'yes' instead of a garbled 'uhuh' kinda thing, which is actually rather hard to say strangely enough!

Penelope: My partner and I are avid kinksters, but in a compartmentalised rather than a 24/7 sense. Most often in everyday life we call each other by our pet names (aww), and our real names when with others. When we're playing, the names we use depend on the saucy scenario. For example:
  • Schoolgirl and teacher: Sir
  • Maid and master: Sir or Master
  • Naughty little brat: Daddy
Country Spanker: I'm always Sir when discipline is involved. Otherwise, I get called all manner of things.

Make Mine Red: Since our spankings are strictly fun and part of foreplay, I refer to him as my husband. I loved reading everyone's comments!

Lea: I use the term top. My husband is a top, so I'd call him either/or, but I also play with other people and refer to them as tops. Disciplinarian would be fitting for a few of them, but isn't a term I generally use.

Bonnie: My husband qualifies as a top and a spanker, but mostly I call him by his name. He may extract a Sir from me under certain circumstances, but that's a part of getting me into the desired headspace.

My favorite brunches are often those where we attract a wide variety of viewpoints. This week was certainly such an occasion. Each of the ten names I listed in the poll received votes. The discussion was even more interesting. What I take away from our conversation is that there are almost as many names as there are lifestyle variations, and that's a fine arrangement.

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