Saturday, January 07, 2012

MBS Spanko Brunch #312

What name or title do you most frequently use to refer to the person who spanks?

Spanker
Disciplinarian
Head of Household
Top
Dom/Domme
Disciplinary Husband/Wife
Husband/Wife
Boyfriend/Girlfriend
Master/Mistress
Sir/Madam
Headmaster/Headmistress
Something Else

How has this name and role evolved over time?

This week, I invite you to both cast a vote and tell your story in the form of a comment. Once everyone has had a chance to respond, I will post an edited summary.

22 comments :

Sara said...

Well, we use "husband" most often and "Head of Household" occasionally....if referring to his role in our home. He definitely qualifies as a "spanker", and an occasional "disciplinarian" if need be (always try to minimize that one.) I never use "Sir" and I think Grant qualifies as "Something else"! ;) Sara

Mick said...

"Sir," didn't work for us. We describe me as a the leader. But I'm not sure I WANT to know what Lynda is calling me in her mind when she's being spanked.

xoxmellyxox said...

When refering to his role it's head of household, but more often than not he's my husband.

Scunge said...

Mostly by his name,but if it is a discipline session it's Sir. I do refer to him as my husband as well,though we are not married yet. Soon though. :)

Bobbie Jo said...

I refer to the person who spanks me as my "Top" because I like the term and I also refer to her as my friend, because she is. I think I call her "my friend" more than anything else. I really love her.

MarQe's Study said...

I generally insist my spankees call me Sir .... It's very English school protocol & is what i grrew up with ....

Vanille said...

I call Her 'Master' or 'Fang', She likes both. -^^- Also in vanilla settings of course she's 'my girlfriend' or 'Fang' since Fang is a pretty darn vanilla-ish nickname so it flies pretty well over 'nilla radars. :)

Spanky said...

Kallisto doesn't often address me during spanking, but when she does it's usually 'sir'.

Hermione said...

When writing about him on my blog, I refer to the person who spanks me as my husband. When writing about spanking in general, I usually call the one who does the spanking the spanker; very occasionally I will use the word Top.

When we are together, I sometimes call my husband Sir. It happened accidentally once when I wanted to verbalize my feelings of submission, and it worked for both of us. So I say Sir from time to time, when the situation warrants it. We rarely call each other by our real names. With only two of us in the house, it doesn't seem necessary.

I like Sara's observation that calling the one who spanks by his blogging pseudonym qualifies as "Something Else".

sunnygirl said...

He's always my husband or Babe or Honey or Sweetie. Sir only in gest - Like yes sir, right away sir, no sir, three bags full sir.

sixofthebest said...

Both spanker, and spankee, are called by their given name.

Anonymous said...

When I'm in mixed company (vanillas & kinksters), I call him my boyfriend, my lover, my man, or by name. When speaking to fellow spankos, I refer to him as my top because I adore being "under" him, literally during sex, and figuatively under his thumb, care, dominance, punishing hand, etc...
I sometimes call my boyfriend "Sir" during a session for fun. I always refer to MarQue that way in my correspondence with him because I sensed he liked it, and I want to please him for fear that if we ever do get to play together, he'll whip the stuffing out of me!
Jean Marie

Spankedhortic II said...

At the time of play I like to use whatever title the Top feels most comfortable with but in general conversation I prefer to use the term Top because it covers a whole range of personality types and play styles, without sounding too BDSMy. On the rare occasions that I top I prefer to be called Sir, as I a not a natural switch but this title helps to get me into a dominant role play mind set.

Prefectdt

disciplinedboyfriend said...

Usually its a very grovelling Yes Dear, sometimes Miss or Mistress and very occasionally Lady C.

SublimeWifey said...

When I refer to him in comments on spanking blogs I refer to him as my husband. Face to face I call him by his name. I want to try titles like Sir or Master, at least when we play since that's not the dynamic of our marriage, but he's not a fan. I'll call him Sir to let him know I'm interested in playing, but titles aren't really a part of our playtime either. I'd do it if he wanted it, but it seems that's not the way he see's himself.

Kitty said...

I used to always call him by his first name, but over time what I call him has evolved to fit different circumstances.

If I'm around peers, I still refer to him by his first name.

If I'm around our children, I call him Daddy.

When we're alone, just the two of us, I call him Master, if I'm feeling especially submissive, but most of the time I call him Daddy.

If I'm spanked for discipline I'm required to call him Sir.

Kitty

Dr. Ken said...

Mostly, I prefer "Ken". :-)

More often than not, I prefer the term "Spanker". I think that fits me the best. I'll use "Top" as it seems to be in more common usage, but "Spanker" better describes me.

Dr. Ken

Dee said...

I don't really use any of these terms. 'Sir' has been used but neither of us are that comfortable with it (especially me :) but I am required to say 'yes' instead of a garbled 'uhuh' kinda thing........ which is actually rather hard to say strangely enough!

Dee x

Penelope said...

My partner and I are avid kinksters, but in a compartmentalised rather than a 24/7 sense. Most often in everyday life we call each other by our pet names (aww), and our real names when with others. When we're playing, the names we use depend on the saucy scenario, e.g.

Schoolgirl and teacher: Sir
Maid and master: Sir or Master
Naughty little brat: Daddy

Country Spanker said...

Always Sir when discipline involved, all manner of things I get called otherwise.

Anonymous said...

Since our spankings are strictly fun & part of foreplay, I refer to him as my husband. Loved reading everyone's comments!

Make Mine Red

Lea said...

I use the term top. My husband is a top so I'd call him either/or but I also play with other people and refer to them as tops. Disciplinarian would be fitting for a few of them, but isn't a term I generally use.

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