Keyword Chaos: Excess Fruitcake Edition

Here is another helping of those bizarre search phrases that inexplicably bring people here.

• are spanking blogs rude? - No, shut up!


• Barbra Walters upskirts - She's 82 years old for goodness sake. You don't even want to know what's going on up there!


• Becky was caught stealing from her best friends mother, so instead of calling the police she decided to teach Becky a lesson she would never forget! She bends her over her knee and starts to spank her tushy, she then strips her hose off and exposes her nice ass. She then starts to spank her ass with her bare hand after a while she really starts to spank her ass harder and harder! - And then suddenly there was an earthquake, the dam broke, and fire rained down from the sky. Becky wondered whether it was too late to say she was sorry.


• best time to spank wife - After she gives her consent


• Bonnie bubble butt - Oh, here we go...


• Bonnie female kinkster Chicago - Three out of four ain't bad


• British boss spanks woman for not wearing underwear at work - And how, pray tell, did he uncover this heinous infraction?


• can men spank lover while being on phone with wife? - No


• cane Basil's bare bottom until he meows - A memorable moment from Fawlty Towers, the Lost Episodes


• elder lee burl apsack disappears - Yes, but he also reappears eventually


• excuses for spanking - I have to imagine there are a lot more excuses to avoid a spanking


• girls' behinds are designed by nature to be spanked - My husband always says that!


• give my dirty big lady arse a good hard spanking - If it's dirty, you should wash it first


• her bare wet aroused randy horny bum bot botty bottom sting smart red sore cane spank - What about it?


• I need a diaper change and a spanking - Would you like fries with that?


• I'm underware and I touch your girlfriends pussy & arse every day - I think you've spent too much time in the spin cycle


• me need spanking in Chicago - Tarzan not live in windy city


• ms law spanks women for being late over her pantyhose tubes - I'll bet she'd really freak out over those plastic eggs


• my husband doesn't let me wear pants and spanks me if I do - I'd like to see him wear a skirt outside in the winter


• my wife and me having sex at fifty - Last time, we almost drove off the road


• painful first time spanking - I hate to break it to you, but they're all painful


• pet and naughty and wife and tumblr - I do not want to see pictures


• plump willing bottom - ...And to my dear sister, I leave my entire collection of short-shorts


• santa butt plug spank story - Hey Santa, wrong flue!


• should my girlfriend pull down my boyfriend's pants down for spankings or should I do it with pictures - Are you sure there aren't any other choices?


• spank your butt poems - Leave my butt poems alone


• spanked at the airport - That might be preferable to being groped by the authorities


• spanking horse riders - I've gotten out of the habit


• spankings make my bottom sore - Really? Me too!


• spanks me every morning - It's time to try a new brand of coffee


• story bubble cutt naked thrashing - That sounds severe


• uncle rules skirt up panties down bottom out for hairbrush spanking - Can we appeal to a higher court?


• white panties dentist spanking - And THIS is for not flossing!


• you will remove your panties for your spanking - If it's my spanking, I'd just as soon leave them on