A thorough spanking generally clears the air, set things right, and cleans the slate. It offers both partners the opportunity to begin anew. Once in a while, however, this cleansing process is not complete. One or both partners may retain some portion of the original disagreement or stress. How can a couple best deal with this situation? Talking though the issues? Stepping away for a while? Negotiation? Another spanking?
If you would like to address our question, and I hope you will, please enter your thoughts below in the form of a comment. Once everyone has had a chance to reply, I will post an edited summary.
13 comments :
IF i am receiving a punishment spanking and it doesn't settle it in my mind.. there are two reactions i have -
1) i sulk -- yeah yeah i know very grownup of me!!
2) i cry - like a baby - big heaving body shaking sobs
W's reaction to both are pretty much the same.. he calls me to him and i sit by him and he will rub my back if he thinks that is appropriate or he will simply get me talking...
Eventually we sort things out... and move forward again.
Though i have to say - now - if either of us is angry about something - we try not to play at all... until we have sorted things out... sort of a twist on what my father told me when i got married - don't go to bed angry - W and i don't play with any mixed feelings...
or try not to.. there are still times...... but we're working on it!!
OH and i have to say... i no longer receive punishment spankings.. that always left me with extreme mixed emotions and sensitivities.
Hate to admit it but if a spanking doesn't clear the air, there is only one way to end it. Another spanking. The second round is harder and longer. Round two brings tears, closure and re-connection.
It happens. We have to talk it through and sometimes give it a little time for both of us to process. Then talk it over some more.
I'd say another spanking would help eliminate any residual stress. It couldn't hurt!
There is a motto that goes like this. "If at first you don't succeed, try, try try again." This would mean 'another spanking', should follow. But that spanking should be a much harder one.
This has never happened in any of my relationships, but I'd have to agree that if one spanking doesn't set things right, another, stiffer spanking is called for.
Jean Marie
From my perspective, I don't believe this has happened with us. We tend to talk things out before I spank. If a spanking didn't help us reconnect, I'm sure we would talk to settle what tension remained.
If I'm feeling resentful afterwards, it's usually because the issue isn't resolved and sometimes can't be from a spanking alone. I uaually have to talk it out with him eventually.
Sometimes saying you are sorry after an argument with a loved one just isn't enough. One or both of you may continue to sense tension between you. At times, the same argument may continue to resurface time and time again. Negativity should be thought of as a cold virus.
Turn up the setting on your 'Anti-virus' software (so to speak), keep Negativity out at all costs!!
My answer has to be, “It depends.” There are some issues and stresses that can be easily resolved through spanking. Others require discussion, compromise, and/or time (and quite possibly, another spanking). It's unrealistic to believe that we can simply spank away all of our troubles. It's a very powerful tool for couples, but not the only one.
I don't think there is a definitive answer to this one; it depends on the reasons, the dynamic, the situation.
I know in some cases, where I have been dead stubborn (because I was sure I was in the right!!) and refused to acknowledge the pain of a spanking, Davey soon realised it was making things worse; he just stopped and we sorted things out another way...
Yes, at times, the residual feelings may be because a spanking wasn't hard/long enough to change the attitude. In those cases, another, harder spanking would be right...
There are many tools to be used in this game of life. If one is not the right tool for the situation, try another!
Sorry I can't be of any help!
bonnie,I always say after a spanking thank you and if you feel I would benefit from a further punishment it would be justifed.Then its up to her,If I get something else fair enough or then hugs n kisses just don`t argue.ps bonnie I`ve stopped lurking,I`m Dave touchingtoes all these years a family I`d never met.xxx
I honest to God have no idea. When I'm depressed I have higher pain tolerance and this overwhelming urge to be a total b*tch, so more spanking sounds like the best plan. If I wasn't in that state to begin with, then I don't see myself agreeing to the initial spanking. I'm big on talking. I also have all these issues left over from a previous abusive relationship, so I can't see that causing anything other than hurt.
But it's not a situation I've found myself in yet, so who knows...
Clara
Post a Comment
Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.