Speaking of Hermione, this week's question comes straight from her blog.
Do you ever feel envious of other spanking enthusiasts or couples? If so, in what way? Do other people ever say they are envious of your situation or relationship? If so, how does this make you feel?
To participate in our brunch, all you need to do is enter a comment below. Once everyone has contributed, I will post an edited summary.
10 comments :
Welcome home Bonnie, I hope you and husband, had a 'spanking good', time on your vacation. I have never felt envious of any 'spanking enthusiast'. I consider all of them friends, a most wonderful community, that has brought great joy, and most certainly sexual satisfaction to my life.
My post about envy was the direct result of hearing from a reader who was envious of my spanking lifestyle. How do I feel when someone tells me - directly or indirectly - that they envy me? First I feel flattered, and then I realize how fortunate I am to have the relationship that I do.
But there have been many times when I have been downright jealous of others after reading about their spanking adventures. Over time, I have taught myself to use these revelations as a chance to expand my own horizons. I can't have it all, but I have chosen certain things that seem doable and have been successful in seeing them happen, in one form or another, for us.
Looking back over the past few years, our own spanking activities have taken a huge leap forward, largely due to the inspiration I found in the stories told by my blogging friends. This success has also greatly reduced the envy factor. Now I can read about exotic escapades and enjoy them for what they are, feeling pleasure for the participants while filing away an idea or two for future reference.
I envy people who live with the person they love. I envy the casual way they can live knowing that two months from now or a year from now they will still sit next to each other. I know no one really knows that because life can play tricks on people but still, I envy them.
I don't know if girls ever envy me for being with Himself. I really do not know. I can't imagine being envied. I can't imagine anyone ever thinking about me or us.
Welcome back. I hope you feel wonderful after your break.
Jealous? Oh yea. I get jealous of those that can actually have an adult relationship and adult playtime. Playtime where sex can be a little edgy without strict boundaries where things like spanking, role play, power exchanges and kinkiness can be explored. Yea, I’m jealous, often frustrated and sometimes mad. After nearly three decades together.... I just want a little variety in what we do together.
There is only one thing that I'm envious of -- those who have found compatible partners for a long-term, emotionally connected, spanking style compatible living together relationship. Had one for awhile. Know how wonderful that is.
I'm a bit envious of you married folks. I think I would like that. Seems like it would add something to the spanking part.
I believe it's basic human nature to envy those who have what we don't or can't have.
Right now I envy people who have privacy, but I know our day will come.
The only time envy becomes wrong IMHO is when someone would deny others what they don't or can't have.
Me, I try to be happy for those that who have better.
We're blessed in many-many ways. We first of all have extremely compatible spanking wants and needs, and we both realize how hard that is to find. Then we also have the time, health, resources and freedom to explore our desires... and the comfort to do just that.
We are very lucky and don't have any reason to be envious of other relationships. We have had other spankos express a desire to have the same sort of relationship/situation... and... it usually makes us feel lucky and good about what we have.
Sometimes think though that folks only see the green grass. We do have to work at our relationship and there is some stress and drama from being part of the spanking scene. It's not always easy, and it isn't a matter of it just happening. Spanking isn't a fix all either, and it's not a path to happiness. The spanking part of our relationship was built on a solid vanilla foundation.
Some that express a desire for a similar relationship lack that foundation, and don't realize that what we have is more than *just* luck... and it can be a tad frustrating when it seems like they think that's all there is to it.
:)
~Todd and Suzy
I can answer "yes" to both sides of this question.
There are times that I feel envious of spankos that have the freedom to travel and meet other spankos frequently. In a sense, I'm actually envious of how I used to be before I accepted Cookie and her family. It was a time in which "exploits" actually belonged in the name of my blog. Now, I wouldn't give up what I have for the world, but I sometimes wish that I could still find the time for the occasional spanking rendezvous. I'm actually getting out a bit more than I used to, but it's a slow process. I think that producing spanking videos will actually put me more out there and meeting people.
And, people have also expressed that they're envious of my relationship with Cookie, and of my spanking time, and of how open I am with my spanking interests. Again, I'd never give up what I have, and know that I have it pretty damned good.
There was a time a considerably long time ago,(yeah I'm 61 and, even I,am beginning to relize I'm getting older than many) when I was new about being out into a lifestyle in which adult consensual spanking was a key feature, that I looked at more experienced people with envy. I encountered others who were only more than too happy to serve as guru and to have their lifestyle or opinions emulated by others. I learned that those folks were people who were generally relatively new at all this themselves, and who needed the adulation of others to feel secure about their own relationship. Had they security, they wouldn't be undertaking to facilitate others emulating their relationship, rather than finding their own means of fulfilling their lives.
We are very experienced and it is not infrequent that we have people tell us they envy us. I generally respond that that is very flattering, but that we have issues and challenges in our relationship, as well as, great joys, as does everyone else. In fact we chronicle them quite frankly on our Blog Theheronclan.blogspot.com. Relationship challenges are a feature of being in relationships, no matter how far one's life experience evolves. I encourage these "envious ones" to find their way to fulfillment rather than modeling ours. I offer to listen to them as they work things through, but make it clear that I will not advise them, and that emulating our relationship is not a way for them to find their happiness.
All the best,
Tom
Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you've imagined.
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