Sunday, April 25, 2010

Recap: MBS Sunday Brunch for Apr 25

Our topic this week was spanking-related discussion groups and forums. Here are your thoughts.

Poppy: I suppose I kind of do on Dev's site. It is not so much a discussion group as a group of like-minded people chatting. It has more banter than discussion, although a discussion does break out every now and again.

I find it hard to find a discussion group that would fit me and what I am like. I tend to take it to heart if someone tells me I am doing it wrong in this area of my life and people do have such strong opinions on the internet.

I have looked at a couple of sites, but on one of them (can't remember which, but it is a huge one) people kept trying to chat me up and it felt so crude and so base that I ended up feeling bad about myself, so I stopped. Well, Himself told me that I had to stop because it made me sad.

I also looked at World Spanking Forum, but that felt very much like lots of the girls were professionals promoting their sites with all their pictures. I am not really like that at all. I am a bit too quaint (really too hard to work out the proper word) for all that.

I also looked at Fetlife, but what I saw made my eyeballs pop out and as a consequence I really, really am not allowed to go back there.

I would like a discussion forum for people like me, but I have not found it yet and I don't know how many people like me there are out there.

Hot Bottom: I would have to say Fetlife. There is something on every topic.

Hermione: I'm glad you introduced this topic, because I hope to gain some insight into how to use the forums.

I belong to SpankoLife and World Fetish Forum, but once I log in, I don't know what to do after I have changed my status. Except for the odd person who wants to chat (and that usually makes me feel uncomfortable), I feel at a loss. I have joined several groups on each one, and I suppose that's where you go to leave your opinions on various subjects, but I have only done it a few times.

I am so busy with creating daily posts for my own blog, reading and commenting on as many other blogs as I can, and performing various other blogly duties, that I don't have any extra time to devote to the forums. I don't often think of visiting them. Perhaps it's because I have to seek them out. They don't pop up on someone's blogroll with an enticement to go and see what's new.

Sara: I just don't know. I belonged to several Dd forums and while in some ways I got a lot out of them, in others they ended up being quite hurtful. The small ones were cliquish and people were judgmental. It felt like being on a playground in fourth grade and worrying who the cool kids were and if you would be liked. On the other hand, some larger forums were quite untamed and some horrid and harmful things were talked about and condoned (like true abuse). The thing I have liked about blogging is first, I can be myself, and don't have to think too much about following the crowd, and second, across the board, the blogging community is intelligent, open, sane, supportive and ongoing. People can be more independent and find their niche, get support without having to wade through yucky stuff, or play up to moderators, or worry about the kool kids. There are SO many more spanking and Dd blogs now than there were five years ago that I no longer go on or refer people to forums.

Naomi: I have participated in a few forums and discussions before. I do enjoy it, but now I am not 100% sure where to find good ones where my input will actually make some sort of difference or prompt at least intelligent conversation. For a while, I honestly felt as though I had no place in those discussions or forums. Everyone had much more experience than I did, and my inexperience made me feel intimidated. So I have not really participated in any of those things since early in our DD relationship.

R Humphries: I'm not really much help in these modern times. Back in the day, I used to wander around the Mirc chat rooms and met some fabulous and very charming people (the technology reference dates me I guess). I was never much for forums as they seemed to attract the more strident and opinionated element of our community and didn’t feature much in the way of discussion, as Ayn Rand style dissertations seemed to be more the order of the day. As Hermione said earlier, the rare spare time I have between family and business obligations is generally consumed in trying to keep my blog maintained and updated. Nonetheless, I like to participate in the MBS brunches and enjoy some occasional cheerful spanking banter with guests to our site.

Cammie: I like reading, but not so much participating. I get too nervous because everyone knows so much more than I do.

Elysia: I asked a fellow blogger, who like me is new, but participates in a few forums. I cannot remember the names of the forums, but I recall that one is private and you need to ask to be invited. Although that may sound elitist, I think that the point is that the group has more control over the types of discussions. I joined two forums in the beginning and have never commented. It is very intimidating to read how nasty people can be, and I would not take that very well.

I enjoy banter in my comment's section, and banter in others' comment sections as well. I feel safe there.

LDD-4-Me: I’ve joined quite a few forums over the years. A few have just gone away and I’ve probably forgotten about quite a few. I’ve thought about starting a forum, but unless there is an active base of contributors with good moderation that bans the trolls, forums can go downhill in a hurry.

The only forum I’ve been active in for quite some time is the discussion forum on Spanking Classics. It seems to be very helpful for new people. I appreciated it when I was new and still enjoy seeing new people getting the support they seek.

Fetlife seems to be both good and bad. It's always a bit funny to see people who want to see their beliefs respected, but aren’t tolerant of others. Also, I don’t get into the whole dark thing with black leather and chrome. It's just not my style.

SpankoLife seems to be a fine place to put a profile, but it doesn’t really seem to have active useable forums.

S.N.M.: Spanking Community is my site of choice. The forum is pretty lifeless, but don't let that fool you. The chat is always lively with a large crew of regulars, and is a pretty friendly community.

I've also been to Spanking Classics, Anime OTK, and Spanking Scouts, but Spanking Community is my favorite so far.

Ronnie: I'm sorry I can't add anything constructive. I don't belong to any forums or discussion groups. I did join one group ages ago (I can't remember which one), but I didn't find it very good.

With all the comments, e-mails, and two way traffic generated within the blogging community, I don't have any extra time. But I will be interested in reading the recommendations.

Prefectdt: I used to do a lot of history forums in my vanilla life, even moderating, but as the forums grew there where more and more idiots using these forums to bloat their own egos. This kind of put me off forums of all sorts.

I lurked on some spanking and kinky forums, sometimes following an interesting topic. But sooner or later, I came across the egotists on these forums and that put me off joining and interacting.

I do not have an awful lot of time to spend in front of a computer everyday anyway. It is a struggle just to keep up with e-mails sometimes. I think that I will stick to blogs for my online spanko/BDSM interactions.

Miss Jules: I'm registered at Fetlife and SpankoLife, but I rarely use them. I like FetLife more because it has some interesting discussions and profiles. Even so, I still mostly just read and rarely get active.

The one forum I really use is the forum of the SMJG, a young German community for kinksters under 28. I love it because while I enjoy interacting with older kinky people, it gives me a more "sheltered" place to talk. I enjoy discussing with people who are roughly my age and have similar interests/experiences. Plus, the board is strictly moderated. Randomly hitting on people is prohibited, and the moderators ensure an amicable, relaxed atmosphere. Another plus is that you can communicate with a wider range of people than with blog posts because your query will be read by most members, not just the loyal readers. That helps if you need advice. Oh, and the final reason I like the SMJG is that I met my boyfriend in the chatroom. :-)

Daisy: I joined SpankoLife, but haven't been back since! It's just not my scene. This blog is the only discussion group I belong to. Not that it's probably a discussion group, per se, but it's perfect for what I want! There are so many different takes on TTWD, this is where I feel comfortable!

Aw, thanks, Daisy!

Anon: I go to This Thing We Do forum.

Bonnie: I've visited many different spanking-related forums over the years and participated to greater or lesser degrees in most of them. As has been observed, some are active, some are slow, some are crude, some are friendly, and some are combative. I usually enjoyed my interactions (and departed quickly if I did not). I know that many people have been helped by answers they received from these discussion groups.

For the past five years, however, my time, energy, and imagination, at least in terms of spanking discussion, have been absorbed by this blog. I wish I had more time to invest in the larger community, but MBS remains my first priority.

Thanks, everyone, for another great brunch conversation!


Karl Friedrich Gauss said...

No mention of Spanking Internet (SIN), Chross's Spanking Scouts Forum, Happy Tails, or the late lamented Ladies Spanking Forum?

Folks will think I've too much time on my hands!

Anonymous said...

Bonnie S.I.N.spanko is a good one lively people and rooms to play in ,why not join us also British spanking .com is nice and spanking community ,love and spanks ,from tim xx enjoy your blog

Franklin Derr said...

I suppose a lot depends on what one's preferences are for the conversation. My assumption would be that for most of you, conversation would need to be on-topic, fun but not overly silly, creative, and that others would be willing to dig deep sometimes. That's exactly the kind of discussion I love.

I'm looking forward to trying out your recommendations.

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