Monday, January 11, 2010

Recap: MBS Sunday Brunch for Jan 10

Our topic this week was the role of location and culture on our spanking interests and preferences. I really didn't intend to uncork the nature-versus-nurture genie, but so be it. Thanks, everyone, for another great discussion.

Jean Marie: For me, it's just the opposite! I fantasized about being spanked from age five or so, but it never was at home. I grew up in the Midwest where I saw a girl in my second grade class paddled in front of the whole class (fully clothed). I was so afraid that everyone could see my naked desire. LOL! Then a girl moved into my neighborhood when I was in the seventh grade and we became friends. Her daddy spanked her and her older sister for any wrongdoings. I was over at their house when her fifteen year old sister was spanked in her parents' bedroom with the door open. I fixated on that for a long time, but I had to wait until I went away to college to get my bottom spanked for the very first time. So it wasn't in my immediate environment, but spanking was around.

Richard Windsor: The question I have always pondered is whether spanking is a learned behaviour or genetic? I know that isn't the answer you seek, but I believe that spanking interest is genetic and can only be enhanced by environment.

The town that I grew up in (Swindon) was a London overspill town. New factories and jobs were created and new housing projects built. Families were lured away from London to start anew, or to maintain their jobs if their company moved to the developing town. These new estates were built up of working class families and a mindset of traditional house values.

While I believe that my spanking proclivity is genetic, it was most certainly enhanced by the area where I grew up. During the 1970's, almost everyone I knew was spanked. Boy or girl, this was the natural consequence of misbehaviour. Schools practiced corporal punishment, comics depicted kids getting spanked all the time, and if someone got spanked, you didn't bat an eyelid. You were just thankful it wasn't you. In fact, you never mentioned to your own family if you were punished at school or one of the neighbours clipped you around the ear, because you would get it twice as hard at home.

In later life, certain aspects of my childhood played a part in developing my spankohood. These aspects were so powerful that they contribute to what I consider a perfect scene. There were incidents from my childhood where I either witnessed or heard of a girl getting spanked. These images are so powerful in my memory that any one mere aspect can make or break a perfect scene for me. This even translates to spanking pictures on the Internet, clothing, angles and demeanor of the players involved.

While I believe that spanking is a part of my genetic makeup, I do believe that growing up in the environment that I did heavily contributed to my feelings towards the activity. That fact is probably as simple as "You misbehave, you get spanked." But on a deeper level, most of the scenes in which I take part are in some fashion comparable to the place where I grew up, spankings I witnessed or experiences shared with me. The ideal scenes for me would be recreations from when I was a young man. That can be as simple as what a girl is wearing to the words spoken to the young lady who is about to be spanked. I certainly miss the days of the half slip, all of the schoolgirls of my day wore them :-)

S.N.M.: My spanking fetish was probably affected in some way by the fact that I was spanked as a kid. However, I strongly believe that I would have developed it (or something like it) either way.

In terms of culture, I think my paddle fascination is probably owed to my American nationality. However, since my spankoness has become increasingly molded by what I see online. The idea of the cane or switch is gradually starting to grow on me.

Nalgas Rositas: In our circle of Mexican friends and family, spanking is a matter of life. As Richard said, if you misbehave, you get spanked. That's all there is to it!

I didn't grow up around spanking, though. I was never spanked, and even though both of my good friends were, it was never really talked about. I sure did find the whole idea fascinating though!

It wasn't until I met my husband, and was introduced to his culture, that I became almost fixated on spanking! The men are so damned manly, and the women so submissive. I've seen the dominance/submission taken to dangerous levels, but for the most part, it results in a beautiful marriage. It's easy to fantasize about the spankings that might go on behind closed doors! :)

I think the whole spanking "kink" is something that you are just born with. However, certain factors/environments/cultures probably help to determine the extent to which you take the kink. :)

The implement of choice is definitely the belt or the chancla (slipper/sandal). "Me quito la chancla!?" ;) (Should I take my sandal off)

Maggie: I was actually exposed to both cultures you mentioned. I was born and raised in a British territory, but to a family whose roots are Southern. All of my friends and the environment were very British, but at the end of the day, I came home to an family blasting Garth Brooks and Charlie Daniels.

Despite all my experiences with the Brits, I tend to be a cozy OTK hand/hairbrush/strap-loving spankee reminiscent of a Southern family, as opposed to the stereotypical rigidity of English canings. So I would say that while location and the cultural environment play a part, family culture played a much bigger role for me.

That said, growing up I heard much more about canings from my friends than I ever did about paddlings. I guess that is why I don't have strong feelings either way about the paddle, but I do like the cane.

Michael: I certainly grew up in a culture of corporal punishment in the UK. My schooldays (1965-73) were ones where the teachers took a slipper to you and the head and deputy head caned you for more serious infractions. Even the prefects could slipper you in their prefects' room.

I trace my keen interest in spanking back to those events and then to a spanking I received from an Aunt (for being rude) and one from a female cousin at the age of 13 when she was about 15. This last was on a boring Sunday afternoon when our parents were out at a pub and she caught me smoking in the garage. It was more playful than punishment, but boy, did it go my head (and my groin). I think that she still remembers it because, for cousins, we seem to get on rather well when we meet at family occasions.

So for me, it is a cultural thing, enhanced by the fact that a magazine called Janus came out when I was about 15. That publication set me off and I have never looked back. If only the internet had been around when I was in my twenties!

Ken: I grew up in Scotland where the tawse was the predominant instrument used for punishment, although in schools, it was generally referred to simply as the belt, and the one for which it is best known.

I do reflect the stereotype in a way as it remains my favourite implement to receive. This is, I think, because it brings back some memories from my school days.

Daisy: The cane was often used at my school. I was terrified of doing wrong. I WAS A GOODY TWO SHOES!

I was never punished at school. At home, there was the threat of punishment and an odd smack, but mostly, we were just told off or yelled at!

I don't know at what point I began to see it as sexy. It was probably around the age of 17 or 18. I watched a film called the Iron Maiden where a lady was spanked for being a brat and for almost wrecking the traction engine! I thought it was really sexy for a man to be so macho.... and a spanko was born!

Hermione: The implements that were in common use during my childhood were straps and rulers. Every teacher was equipped with a wooden ruler and – if the occasion warranted it – would use it on an unruly pupil's hands while the rest of the class watched. The principal had a leather strap for serous offenses, and would administer it in the privacy of his or her office.

These implements were also used in homes. Often a belt or ruler would be set aside for the sole purpose of discipline, and would hang in a prominent place.

Ron and I grew up in different parts of Canada, each with its own distinct cultural identity, but we both have similar memories, so these methods of punishment were common practice at that time. It's probably not surprising that I have a strong affinity for belts as well as other leather implements, and keep a wooden ruler on my desk at work as my own private joke.

Our Bottoms Burn: I think you have the spanking gene or not. If you do, it can be enhanced by environment. It makes sense to me that if an implement was in common use around you in your formative years, it could become a favorite as an adult.

Becall and I both grew up in the South. Switches and belts were commonly used at home and paddles at school. She was only punished at home and has an affinity for leather. I was mostly punished at school and prefer wooden paddles.

Six of the Best: Since I spent my youthful years in England, I loved seeing and hearing about naughty girls and adult women being disciplined by the birchrod or cane. Yes, corporal punishment has always been called the 'English Vice' and I loved being part of it.

Poppy: I am a Brit through and through, but (I can't believe I am saying this) I have a someone in my life who speaks with an American accent and it just makes my knees shake in the best way when he tells me off. I hate it, but I hate it in the best way.

And (I am hoping this can just be between you and me) when he looks down at me with blue eyes and slips his belt through the loops on his jeans, I can hardly look at him. But I remember it in my head for nights and nights afterward.

So I think this British girl (who does get the cane on occasion) has rather been affected by an American.

Eliane: I grew up in the era where corporal punishment in schools was mostly coming to an end (it was banned when I was 10). However, I am still very much influenced by the "culture" of England in that the cane is the implement that holds the most pull of my psyche, by far. A paddle, say, does very little for me.

R Humphries: This is a very interesting question and one that fascinates me. Unquestionably, my own spanking predilections are a product of my upbringing and education in London during the latter part of the sixties and early seventies. As Richard Windsor points out, spanking and caning were commonplace for both sexes (although the punishment of girls was generally more discrete, more the pity for RH). I often joke with Jojo that I am a relic of the last bastion of the great British cane generation.

I was brought up in a relatively spank-free home. That’s not to say you didn’t get an occasional clip around the lughole, but almost all my early experiences happened at school. Considering the schools I attended were basically non-denominational, they had more rituals that the Anglican High Church and the Roman Catholics put together. I found the pure theatrics that often accompanied corporal punishment fascinating, intriguing and titillating. There is no question that those experiences molded and continue to be the prime drivers behind my personal spanko id.

I agree that we are probably born with a genetic inclination towards spanking. As early as I can remember, I was always attracted to the last panel of the Saturday morning comics where the main protagonist always ended up getting a spanking and the many descriptions of punishments that appeared in books of that era.

I was first inspired to write spanking stories after I overheard my best friend’s sister being spanked. Although I did not witness the actual spanking, it was delivered behind closed doors, I shall never forget the angry, defiant, probably quite embarrassed look on her face when she was forced to join the family for supper. I later learned (from her) that she had been caned several times at school. While she did not share the gory details with me, she did impart enough information to provide me a shed-load of erotic fantasies for future use as a writer.

Over the years, I have acquired quite a collection of canes, straps, paddles, switches, straps and, of course, numerous kitchen utensils. We tend to mix it up quite a bit, but if I had to take just one instrument with me to a desert island ,I’m sure it would be a cane.

Jim: I cannot for the life of me see how a kink for spanking could be "genetic" (Could be my MmedSci getting in the way). Perhaps those who hold that view can explain?

Anyroad, I grew up where and when naughty boys and girls were very, very, likely to finish up getting their seats soundly spanked.

The common instruments of correction were the teacher's (size 11) stinging plimsoll and the pliable, swishy cane. Those are the fetish objects that thrill me still (both to give and to receive).

As I moved through adolescence, the spiky feminine qualities of the hairbrush enthralled me. Straps are for Scots, and were mostly used on the hands. Paddles are for Americans, and are just a plank of wood – with no erotic connotations for me.

Ronnie: The cane was used a lot in the UK for punishment, a lot in public schools and especially at boys' schools.

We didn't have the cane for punishment in my school, but I know it was used at some of my friends' schools. I wasn't spanked at all as a child. My parents didn't believe in spanking as a punishment.

So, my answer to the question of the influence of culture and location is that I think it must influence us a great deal. Although I never experienced it, I nevertheless had a curiosity about spanking even before I was introduced to it. Since then, it's been love-hate, with the balance possibly weighing slightly more on the love side more recently.

Tina: I think fantasies have a lot to do with what one has seen (or often not seen, but only read) as a child. I always used to get very excited when I read about the little hero getting a spanking in kid's books. My fantasies today are clearly influenced by all of my "experience" (as said: from reading). I like belts, and if necessary, canes, I like my thighs to be hit, and that happened to the hero in a book that I can still vaguely recall. My greatest turn on is slaps in the face. And the only time I remember I ever got hit by a parent was when my dad slapped me (once, and not hard) at the age of about twelve. I jumped onto his lap, and I think the hour after that slap was about the only hour ever I felt my love for him (in childhood, I mean. I am better at that now). Crazy and weird.

Anon: Nature or Nurture? Does it really matter? Why not celebrate the interest, and try new things?

Love4her: Grandma (from Missouri) used a switch and would make my mom and her brother go out and cut one for her to use on them. So I have heard. One of our families friends from NY was always chasing her kids with a wooden spoon when I was growing up. I only remember getting the belt from my mom a few times as a kid. The formative thing I remember was a particular scolding and accompanying spanking with a belt that was given within earshot and with the knowledge of a neighbor and her daughter that was a few years older than I. This, I think, set me on the road to be a spanko and gave me a kink for submission to lovely dominate women. I only wish I could have more fun with it now as an adult.

Willy: My experience is very limited, because I was never spanked in either home or school. However, I self-spanked at an early age, so I'm inclined to think I was born with the urge.

As an adult, I've fantasized about spanking endlessly, and self-spanked. But I never had a spanko relationship, regrettably. My fantasy is hand spanking because it's so personal, and because I have no experience giving a spanking or using implements.

Curtis: I think that for me, spanking being at the core of my sexuality was genetic and was evoked for the first time when a pretty second grade teacher picked up a classmate at the end of the school day, put him over one knee while leaning against a wall and gave him a birthday spanking which I felt in my loins.

It as enhanced by virtue of it being all around us, as parents, aunts, etc. all spanked. It was in comics, movies and literature. I came to understand that I was not alone when a neighbor girl whose skirt I pulled up and whose bottom I spanked came to my house regularly for more. Then there was the music teacher who tended to bring classroom discussion around to spanking. She listened to her students' experiences and once allowed how spanking was "fun." On the other hand, I don't think it's genetic for all. I've introduced many a lass to spanking who had never thought of it before but whose bottom was an erogenous zone.

Maggie: Here's a quick response to Jim:

The idea of spanking being genetic has always intrigued me, to the point that I brought up the topic on my blog. The response from comments and e-mails supported the idea that the spanking kink could very well be genetic. A bunch of people noted that at least one other person in their families were definitely into it, be it a sibling, their parents, or children. But that doesn't at all mean that there aren't various sources for the kink.

Jim: I have left a comment at your lovely blog, Maggie. Let me just add here this thought:

I speak English. My wife speaks English. My eldest daughter speaks English. My youngest daughter speaks English and German. We don't have to go searching our family tree for German ancestry to explain why my daughter is fluent in German. She knows German because a) She learned some at school, and b) She moved to Germany a couple of years ago.

It is the above contingent facts, rather than genetics, that explains why she speaks German and the rest of the family does not. Of course, genes contribute to the acquisition of language. But you don't even need a larynx or working ears. A healthy dopamine system and (crucially!) a means of communication with intelligent others, are the environmental requirements.

I believe that my kink for spanking is a contingent acquirement. Given different contingencies, my sexuality would have developed otherwise. But you know what? I like things just the way they are!

Val: Two implements, the belt and the switch, were prevalent in the environment where I grew up (Central Europe). I saw or heard them being used on buddies and their sisters. I also heard stories. In my family, it was the switch or the "stick" (that would be a thin cane today). The belt, however, was most popular.

Were today's preferences influenced by those early inputs? Probably. I will go for a switch when practical, or build a birch whenever feasible, usually for myself. Otherwise, I will prefer the rattan cane. Lately, I find myself more and more making leather implements, albeit they are more along the "whip" idea.

Now I am living in the USA, the paddle and its derivatives still leave me cold (Unless occasionally used on me, which will make me very hot locally, but that is punishment, for this is how my disciplinarian would use the paddle, hairbrush, ruler, and so on).

The kink is broad. Consider this: my disciplinarian had no direct or related spanking experience until adulthood. We grew up in the same city, nearly same neighborhood, and our respective families were from close areas of the country, but today prefers to receive the paddle, but most of all, the hand.

My conclusion is that at least 60% of the preference is acquired from some type of sensation. Hence, we pick and prefer the implement that delivers that sensation.

Bonnie: I didn't foresee the whole nature-versus-nurture debate, but it IS an interesting question. While I doubt there is a spanko gene per se, I believe that submissiveness may well be a successfully evolutionary strategy.

I was raised in the US heartland where spankings were prevalent and the implements of choice were the paddle and the hairbrush. For years, Randy and I played almost exclusively with these percussive weapons. Only in recent years, specifically since we discovered the internet, has our punitive palette expanded.

Thanks and see you next week!


Marie Haynes said...

Fabulous post. While I was never exposed to spanking until I was sexually active as a young adult, I find I'm more of a "learned" spankee as opposed to a genetic one. I've just been condition to connect spanking with love, submission, sex, and dominance. Basically, every aspect of spanking is fascinating to me.

Florida Dom said...

I think there is no doubt that spanking is genetic. You have to be wired to want it and like it. If you're not, there is no way you can learn to like it.

That is my two cents worth anyway.


Anonymous said...

Most psychologist view many personality traits as a combination of nature and nurture. For a behavior that is so common like spanking, there must be some biological pathway that supports the excitement that spankees feel (and there are nerve pathways involved). Combining this genetic ability with exposure to the idea of spanking from cultural items (books, magazines, films, and now websites) may be how an interest in spanking develops.

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