Hello again, my friends! I'm glad you stopped by for brunch. It's been said that we are the product of all we've experienced. This simple proposition is the inspiration for our question of the week.
We've all heard stereotypes such "The paddle is popular in the Southern US," or "Many British spanking enthusiasts are fond of canings." Obviously, such statements greatly oversimplify a complex subject. However, there may be some generalizations that are valid.
To what extent would you attribute your spanking interests and preferences to the culture and location where you live (or lived)?
To answer our question and join the discussion, just enter a comment below. Once everyone has had a chance to speak, I will post an edited summary.
26 comments :
Just the opposite! I fantasized about being spanked from age five or so, but never was at home. I grew up in the midwest where I saw a girl in my second grade class paddled in front of the whole class (fully clothed) and I was so afraid that everyone could see my naked desire. LOL! Then a girl moved into my neighborhood when I was in the seventh grade, and we became friends. Her daddy spanked her and her older sister for any wrongdoings. I was over at their house when her fifteen year old sister was spanked in her parents' bedroom with the door open. I fixated on that for a long time, but had to wait until I went away to college to get my bottom spanked for the very first time. So it wasn't in my immediate environment, but spanking was around.
Jean Marie
The question I have always pondered has always been, is spanking a learned behaviour or is it genetic?
I know that isn't the answer you seek, but I am a believer that spanking is genetic which can only be enhanced by your environment.
The town that I grew up in (Swindon) was a London overspill town, meaning that new factories and jobs were created and new housing projects built, luring families away from London to start anew, or to maintain their jobs had their company moved to the developing town.
The point to that was that these new estates were built up of working class families and a mindset of traditional house values.
While I believe that my spanking proclivity is genetic, it was most certainly enhanced by the area that I grew up in. During the 1970's almost everyone I knew was spanked, boy or girl, it was the natural consequence of misbehaviour. Schools practiced corporal punishment, comics depicted kids getting spanked all the time, and if someone got spanked you didn't bat an eyelid, you were just thankful it wasn't you. In fact you never mentioned to your own family if you were punished at school or one of the neighbours clipped you around the ear, because you would get it twice as hard at home.
In relation to preferences, I don't think that it played a part in growing up, however, if I ever heard that a girl got it I would want to know every minute detail.
In later life there are certain aspects of my childhood that have played a part in developing my spankohood. There are certain aspects from childhood that were so powerful that it does contribute to what I consider a perfect scene to be. By that I mean there were certain incidences from my childhood where I either witnessed or heard of a girl getting spanked, that they have such a powerful image in my memory that one mere aspect appearing in a scene that I either do or see can make or break a perfect scene for me. That even translates to spanking pictures on the Internet, clothing, angles and demeanor of the players involved play a vital role.
So to summarize, while I believe that spanking is a part of my genetic makeup, I do believe that growing up in the environment that I did heavily contributes to my feelings towards the activity. That fact is probably as simple as "You misbehave, you get spanked", but on a deeper level almost every scene that I take part in is quite often comparable to where I grew up, and spankings that I had either witnessed in person or heard about as the third person. In fact the ideal scenes for me would be recreations from when I was a young man, and that can be as simple as what a girl is wearing, to the words that were spoken coming from the person who was about to spank the young lady in question. I certainly miss the days of the half slip, all of the schoolgirls of my day wore them :-)
My spanking fetish was probably affected in some way by the fact that I was spanked as a kid. However, I strongly believe that I would have developed it (or something like it) either way.
In terms of culture: I think my paddle fascination is probably owed to my American nationality. However, since my spankoness has become increasingly molded by what I see online, the idea of the cane or switch is gradually starting to grow on me.
In our circle of Mexican friends/family spanking is a matter of life. Like a previous posted mentioned, you misbehave, you get spanked. That's all there is to it!!
I didn't grow up around spanking, though. I was never spanked, and even though both of my good friends were, it was never really talked about. I sure did find the whole idea fascinating, though!
It wasn't until I met my husband, and was introduced to his culture that I became almost fixated on spanking! The men are so damned manly... And the women so submissive. I've seen the dominance/submission taken to dangerous levels, but for the most part it results in a beautiful marriage. Its easy to fantasize about the spankings that might go on behind closed doors! :)
I think the whole spanking "kink" is something that you are just born with. Certain factors/environments/cultures probably help determine to exactly what extent you take the kink to, though. :)
I wanted to add... the implement of choice is definitely the belt or the chancla (slipper/sandal).
"Me quito la chancla!?" ;) (Should I take my sandal off)
I was actually exposed to both cultures you mentioned, funnily enough. I was born and raised in a British territory, but to a family whose roots are Southern. All my friends and the environment were very British, but at the end of the day I came home to an family blasting Garth Brooks and Charlie Daniels.
Despite all my experiences with the Brits, I tend to be a cozy otk hand/hairbrush/strap-loving spankee reminiscent of a Southern family as opposed to the stereotypical rigidity of English canings. So I would say that while location and the cultural environment play a part, personally family culture played a much bigger role.
That said, growing up I heard much more about canings from my friends than I ever did about paddlings, which I guess is why I don't have strong feelings either way about the paddle but I do like the cane.
Hi there
I certainly grew up in a culture of corporal punishmentin the UK.
My schooldays (1965 -73) were ones where the teachers took a slipper to you and the Head and Deputy Head caned you for the more serious infractions. Even the prefects could slipper you in their Prefects Room.
I trace my keen interest in spanking back to those events and then to a spanking I received from an Aunt (for being rude) and one from a female cousin at the age of 13 when she was about 15. This last was on a boring Sunday afternoon when our parents were out at a pub and she caught me smoking in the garage. It was more playful than punishment but boy did it go my head (and my groin). I think that she still remembers it because, for cousins, we seem to get on rather well when we meet at family occasions.
So for me it is a Cultural thing, enhanced by the fact that a magazine called Janus came out
when I was about 15. That publication set me off and I have never looked back. If only the internet had been around when I was in my twenties!
Have a good brunch and Sunday spanking if you get one.
Michael
I grew up in Scotland where the tawse was the predominant instrument used for punishment, although in schools it was generally referred to simply as the belt, and the one for which it is best known.
I do reflect the stereotype in a way as it remains my favourite implement to receive. This is I think because it brings back some memories for me from school days.
The cane was often used at my school, I was terrified of doing wrong; I WAS A GOODY TWO SHOES!
I was never punished at school; at home, the threat of punishment and an odd smack, but mostly we were just told off or yelled at!
So, I really don't know at what point I began to see it as sexy; probably around the age of 17/18, when I watched a film called the Iron Maiden, where a lady was spanked for being a brat and almost wrecking the traction engine! I thought it was really sexy for a man to be so macho.... and a spanko was born! xxxx
The implements that were in common use during my childhood were straps and rulers. Every teacher was equipped with a wooden ruler and - if the occasion warranted it - would use it on an unruly pupil's hands while the rest of the class watched. The principal had a leather strap for serous offenses, and would administer it in the privacy of his or her office.
These implements were also used in homes. Often a belt or ruler would be set aside for the sole purpose of discipline, and would hang in a prominent place.
Ron and I grew up in different parts of Canada, each with its own distinct cultural identity, but we both have similar memories, so these methods of punishment were common practice at that time.
It's probably not surprising that I have a strong affinity for belts as well as other leather implements, and keep a wooden ruler on my desk at work as my own private joke.
I think you have the spanking gene or not. If you do, it can be enhanced by environment. It makes sense to me that if an implement was in common use around you in your formative years, it could become a favorite as an adult.
Becall and I both grew up in the south. Switches and belts were commonly used at home and paddles at school. She was only punished at home and has an affinity for leather. I was mostly punished at school and prefer wood paddles.
Since I spent my youthful years in England, I loved seeing and hearing about naughty girls and adult women being disciplined by the birchrod or cane. Yes, corporal punishment has always been called the 'English Vice' and I loved being part of it.
I am a Brit through and through but (I can't believe I am saying this) I have a someone in my life who speaks with an American accent and it just makes my knees shake in the best way when he tells me off. I hate it but I hate it in the best way.
And (I am hoping this can just be between you and I) when he looks down at me with blue eyes and slips his belt through the loops on his jeans. Well, i can hardly look at him but I remember it in my head for nights and nights afterwards.
So I think this British girl (who does get the cane on occasion) has rather been affected by an American.
Great question.
While I grew up in the era where corporal punishment in schools was mostly coming to an end (it was banned when I was 10) I am still very much influenced by the "culture" of England in that the cane is the implement that holds the most pull of my psyche, by far. A paddle, say, does very little for me.
Hi guys … firstly of course a happy new year … it is a very interesting question and one that fascinates me … unquestionably my own spanking predilections are a product of my upbringing and education in London during the latter part of the sixties and early seventies … as Richard Windsor points out spanking and caning were commonplace for both sexes (although the punishment of girls was generally more discrete, more the pity for RH) … I often joke with Jojo that I am a relic of the last bastion of the great British cane generation.
I was brought up in a relatively spank-free home, that’s not to say you didn’t get an occasional clip around the lughole but almost all my early experiences happened at school. Considering the schools I attended were basically non-denominational they had more rituals that the Anglican High Church and the Roman Catholics put together and I found the pure theatrics that often accompanied corporal punishment fascinating, intriguing and titillating. There is no question that those experiences molded and continue to be the prime drivers behind my personal spanko id.
But I do agree that we are probably born with a genetic inclination towards spanking. As early as I can remember I was always attracted to the last panel of the Saturday morning comics where the main protagonist always ended up getting a spanking and the many descriptions of punishments that appeared in books of that era.
I was first inspired to write spanking stories after I overheard my best friend’s sister being spanked. Although I did not witness the actual spanking, it was delivered behind closed doors; I shall never forget the angry, defiant, probably quite embarrassed look on her face when she was forced to join the family for supper. I later learned (from her) that she had been caned several times at school. While she did not share the gory details with me she did impart enough information to provide me a shed-load of erotic fantasies for future use as a writer.
Over the years I have acquired quite a collection of canes, straps, paddles, switches, straps and, of course, numerous kitchen utensils and we tend to mix it up quite a bit but if I had to take just one instrument with me to a desert island I’m sure it would be a cane … Cheers … RH
I cannot for the life of me see how a kink for spanking (Could be my MmedSci getting in the way.)
Anyroad, I grew up where and when naughty boys and girls were very, very, likely to finish up getting their seats soundly spanked.
The common instruments of correction were: teacher's (size 11) stinging plimsol; or the pliable swishy cane. Those are the fetish objects which thrill me still (both to give and to receive).
As I moved through adolesence, the spiky feminine qualities of the hairbrush enthralled me. Straps are for Scots, and were mostly used on the hands. Paddles are for Americans, and are just a plank of wood--with no erotic connotations for me.
Apologies for the duff editing above! What I meant to say is:
I cannot for the life of me see how a kink for spanking could be "genetic". Perhaps those who hold that view can explain?
The cane was used a lot in the UK for punishment, at lot in public schools and especially boys schools.
We didn't have the cane for punishment in my school but I know it was used at some of my friends schools. I wasn't spanked at all as a child either, parents didn't believe in spanking as a punishment.
So the question - to what extent do we think culture and location influence us - my answer is I think it must influence us a great deal because although I never experienced it I nevertheless had a curiosity about it even before I was introduced to it, and since I have been it's been love-hate, the balance possibly weighing slightly more on the love side more recently.
Love.
Ronnie
xx
Dear Bonnie, I think phantasies have a lot to do with what one has seen (or often not seen but only read) as a child. I always used to get very excited when I read about the little hero getting a spanking in kid's books. My phantasies today are clearly influenced by all my "experience" (as said: from reading). I like belts, and if necessary canes, and I like my thighs to be hit, and that happened to the hero in a book that I can still vaguely recall. My by way greatest turn on until today are slaps in the face. And the only time I remember I ever got hit by a parent was when my dad slapped me (once, and not hard) at the age of about 12. I jumped onto his lap, and I think the hour after that slap was about the only hour ever I felt my love for him (in childhood, I mean. I am better at that now). Crazy and weird. Tina
Nature or Nurture? Does it really matter? Why not celebrate the interest, and try new things?
Grandma ( from Missouri ) used a switch and would make my mom and her brother go out and cut one for her to use on them..... so I have heard. One of our families friends from NY was always chasing her kids with a wooden spoon when I was growing up. I only remember getting the belt from my mom a few times as a kid. The formative thing I remember was a particular scolding and accompanying spanking with a belt that was given within earshot and with the knowledge of a neighbor and her daughter that was a few years older than I. This, I think, set me on the road to be a spanko and gave me a kink for submission to lovely dominate women. I only wish I could have more fun with it now as an adult.
Hi, Bonnie,
My experience is very limited, because I was never spanked in either home or school. However, I self-spanked at an early age, so I'm inclined to think I was born with the urge.
As an adult, I've fantasized about spanking endlessly, and self-spanked, but never had a spanko relationship, regretfully. My fantasy is hand spanking because it's so personal, and because I have no experience giving a spanking or using implements.
Best to you and Randy,
Willy
I think that for me spanking being at the core of my sexuality was genetic and was evoked for the first time when a pretty second grade teacher picked up a classmate at the end of the school day, put him over one knee while leaning against a wall and gave him a birthday spanking which I felt in my loins. It as enhanced by virtue of it being all around us, as parents, aunts, etc. all spanked, it was in comics, movies and literature. I came to understand I was not alone when a neighbor girl whose skirt I pulled up and whose bottom I spanked came to my house regularly for more and when and when a music teacher who tended to bring classroom to discussion to spanking and to hering about her students' experiences, once allowed how spanking was "fun." On the other hand I don't think it's genetic for all. I've introduced many a lass to spanking who had never thought of it before but whose bottom was an erogenous zone.
Quick response to Jim -
The idea of spanking being genetic has always intrigued me, to the point that I brought up the topic on my blog (enclosed is the link to that post and comments, should you care), and the response from comments and emails supported the idea that the spanking kink could very well be genetic. A bunch of people noted that at least one other person in their families were definitely into it, be it a sibling, their parents, or children - but that doesn't at all mean that there aren't various sources for the kink.
http://feelslikehappy.blogspot.com/2010/01/apple-tree.html
I have left a comment at your lovely blog, Maggie. Let me just add here (if Bonnie doesn't mind!)this thought:
I speak English; my wife speaks English; my eldest daughter speaks English; my youngest daughter speaks English and German. We don't have to go searching our family tree for German ancestry to explain why my daughter is fluent in German. She knows German because a) She learnt some at school b) She moved to Germany a couple of years ago.
It is the above contingent facts, rather than genetics, which explains why she speaks German and the rest of the family do not. Of course genes contribute to the acquisition of language; but you don't even need: a larynx or working ears. A healthy dopamine system and (crucially!)a means of communication with intelligent others, are the environmental requirements.
I believe that my kink for spanking is a contingent acquirement; and that, given different contingencies, my sexuality would have developed otherwise. But you know what? I like things just the way they are!
To answer the questions:
About growing up experience (in Central Europe)- prevalent in my environment were two implements: the belt, and the switch. I have seen or heard them being used on buddies and their sisters, and also heard stories. In my family, it was the switch or the "stick" (that would be a thin cane today). Belt, however, was most popular.
About today's preferences, were they influenced by those early inputs? Probably, I will go for a switch when practical, or build a birch whenever feasible, usually for myself. Otherwise, I will prefer the rattan cane. However, lately I find myself more and more making implements made of leather, albeit they are more along the "whip" idea.
Now living in the USA, the paddle and its derivatives still leave me cold. (Unless occasionally used on me, which will make me very hot locally, but that is punishment, for this is how my disciplinarian would use th epaddle, hairbrush, ruler, and so on.)
The kink is broad, consider this: my disciplinarian hasn't had any direct or related experience spankingwise, until of adult age. We both grew up in the same city, nearly same neighborhood, and our respective families were from close areas of the country - today prefers to recieve the paddle though, but most of all, the hand.
My conclusion is that at least 60% of the preference is acquired for some type of sensation, hence we pick and prefer the implement that shall deliver that sensation.
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