Happy New Year, dear friends. I'm glad you stopped by for the first brunch of 2010. In past years, we've talked about resolutions. I think it might be interesting to adopt a slightly different approach this time.
At the dawn of a new decade, is there one change that you have made that you would recommend to MBS readers? Specifically, how have you (and/or your partner) made spankings more effective, more enjoyable, or more a part of your lives? Are there any related tips you can offer?
To join the discussion, just read the comments below and then enter your own. Once everyone has spoken, I will post an edited summary of our conversation.
14 comments :
I haven't ever participated in the discussion but I read them frequently. we're fairly new and it's really easy to get distracted and busy, but something that I've determined to do to keep us on track is to keep up on my blog, read others more and then discuss things with J because it keeps it at the forefront of our minds and it keeps us open to eachother.since we're so new we really haven't tried too much so we're experimenting with implements and we've talked about doing it more for fun and experimenting with location because we've pretty much used it for dd and not for play. I'm sure it's nothing new but it's what we're doing.
Hi, Bonnie, Happy New Year!
As Davey and I have still not been able to actually BE together yet (despite our 1st wedding anniversary looming in 3 months time, we have not been in the same country since our honeymoon!) its rather difficult to be moving on/making alterations to our spanklife!
In order for your spankings to evolve/become more effective, you have to be able to participate!
I will be interested in all replies, however, so we can "hit the ground running" when we ARE together! Hugs, xxxxxxxxx
I want to speak to the women just coming out, just realizing themselves that they want to try a DD marriage. So many of us have thought about this for years before we bring it up to our husbands and then it can get down right annoying when they don't jump on it right away. I think so many men are just taken completely by surprise. Where many of them are willing to try spanking to spark up the old sex life, many don't really understand the whole DD concept and they are very hesitant. This can lead to misunderstanding and sometimes hurt feelings.
I think we need to give men the chance to get used to what we are telling them. Even thought emotionally some of us crave discipline (being cared for) we need to let the men explore spanking in what ever way they need to to get comfortable with it. Then hopefully we can gradually explain some of what we need. Maybe we get tired of the word 'communicate' but it can't be said enough. It's the most important thing we can do whether we spank for fun, as erotic play or for discipline. Keep talking!!!
My tip would be that words matter, they set the tone. The man in my life knows this and it makes a huge difference. If he wants me to be sorry for something then he could spank me until Tuesday with no impact - he has to make that mental link and then I am all his.
If you think that you would like to be spanked but have never tried it them make 2010 the year you ASK your partner to spank you.
It's all about communicating your desires, so ask.
Happy New Year
Fred
The best advice I have received from my readers that I would like to pass along to yours, is to talk to your partner about what you would like. When done in a friendly, positive, upbeat and non-judgmental way, the results can be amazing. It sometimes isn't easy to talk about spanking, and it takes practice, but it gets easier each time, and is well worth the effort.
I have also discovered that treating a spanking less seriously and being able to laugh and joke about it - before, after, and especially during one - makes it more fun for both of us, and draws us closer together.
My advice for new couples starting a new DD relationship, is don't try to base yours on what other couples practice. It causes regrets and expectations that will only frustrate you. Just let it take it's course. DD relationships are unique, and eventually will form to suit the specific couple.
Happy New Years Bonnie!
Katia
As I do not have a regular spanking partner and it can often be a few months between spankings, I have instituted a program of self spanking. I do not enjoy this but it keeps the old hide in condition and ready for a real spanking, I would recommend this to any one who has to wait a long time between spankings, like myself. A spanking after two or three months of not being touched at all can be difficult to take and the self spanking takes the shock out of the real events.
Prefectdt
Spankings are enjoyable, effective, a part of our lives as is; no embellishment needed. Now, as has been continually said, open communication is essential. To put Tabasco sauce on an already spicey dish, a new implement or gadget is always fun. We had gravitated away from anal play in our spanking fun recently, so the Christmas gift of a string of anal beads was much appreciated inspiration.
My advice would be like Nike; "Just Do It." Or like they advise in Kentucky about elections; "Do it early and often."
Jean Marie
What Hermione said. I could not improve on her words.
By talking more about spanking, better communication has brought about more experimentation, different implements and harder spankings.
Its much better when each side knows how far the other wants to go or is prepared to experiment, there are sensations we would probably have missed out on which I now know would have been a great pity.
Love.
Ronnie
xx
Hi, I am one of your long time lurkers. I speak English fairly well, but there is a question that has been nagging me for years: what does the title of your blog mean? I am sure it is some kind of play on words and I know that a good joke should not be explained, but, for the benefit of your foreign readers, would you be so kind to enlighten us? (Or me?)
A whole wonderful week of spankings - morning and night - yum!
Dear Bonnie,
The biggest change I would make is to actually GET a spanking partner this year!
Dr. Ken
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