It's time for brunch again and I thank you all for joining us. Our topic was suggested by an MBS reader.
What role, if any, does scolding play in your spanking experiences? How frequently is it used? What are the reasons? How does the spankee typically react?
To join our conversation, all you need to do is enter a comment below. Once everyone has shared their thoughts, I will post an edited summary.
19 comments :
A scolding is usually a pretty big part of a spanking for us. In a discipline spanking situation, it's probably at least as important as the actual spanking. It's what puts spanker and spankee on the same page and allows the reasons for the spanking to be fully understand.
In a playful situation, it adds to the fun. While a 'just because' spanking can work great, having a reason... even a silly one... does seem to make it better. The playful scolding allows for the spanko phrases that so many of us enjoy to be used. "we need to have a little talk about your behavior"... you've been a naughty girl"... "you know what happens when you're naughty"... etc-etc. Even when doing something as silly as a Spankopoly spanking, there usually is some sort of scolding involved.
Scolding can serve a practical purpose, or a playful one that builds up the butterflies in the tummy anticipation for the spankee. It's not a must, but we do like to include scolding whenever we can.
:)
~Todd & Suzy
Scoldings aren't part of our spanking rituals, because for us, spankings are erotic foreplay. Ron considers spankings a reward for good behaviour, not bad. Those spanko phrases that Todd and Suzy mentioned would be music to my ears, and I would love to hear them immediately before or during a spanking.
I do get scolded quite frequently for various things I've done or left undone. If the offense isn't too serious and I can see that Ron is only mildly annoyed, I will tell him he's absolutely right, and suggest that I deserve a good spanking. That usually makes him laugh and explain why I don't deserve one. It defuses the situation, even though he won't take me up on my offer.
I can often get a "read" on how hard the spanking to come will be by the energy expended on my scolding. If it's a finger-wagging tirade, I'm not going to be able to sit for a good while.
I love to be scolded!
Jean Marie
I hate to be scolded but it happens if it is a spanking for something serious.
I hate to admit this but it makes a massive difference to me and how I feel. It takes the expirience to a deeper level, it tells me that he knows me and notices me. It tells me that what I do and I how do it matters to him.
I would rather be spanked for twice as long and not scolded. But if he did not scold me I would not think he loves me as much as he does.
Sigh
Are all women this complicated?
Spanking for me is purely foreplay, but adding some pretend naughtiness is fun- so being scolded in fun for a made up or silly infraction is great fun! It's a way to get all those key phrases in which I love hearing even before a single spank. I love getting those butterflies in my tummy and knowing I'm about to get pulled over his knee and often he can tell I'm not listening to him as he's scolding me because I'm to focused on what's about to happen so I'll get scolded more and spanked harder! It's a wonderful, circular cycle of which I'm quite fond, as is my boyfriend, fortunately!
If it is a discipline spanking I ALWAYS get asked "Why are you getting this spanking____?" After I give the correct response Sir starts the spanking but keeps scolding and reminding me why it would be prudent to stop doing what I did. I NEED the scolding part to get into the right head space,otherwise I don't seem to be able to take the spanking very well.
I was going to write something like we don't scold because spankings are erotic foreplay for us. Then I read what Hermione wrote "Those spanko phrases that Todd and Suzy mentioned would be music to my ears, and I would love to hear them immediately before or during a spanking".
Hmmmm, I had never thought about such phrases as being scolding when used in play. So yes, I guess we do use scolding. All those "Young Lady you can just get yourself over my lap right now" et al. said in play do qualify.
Becall does wilt a bit when I have her well warmed up and tell her naughty she is and what I am about to do to her.
The scolding , as has already been said, gets my head into the right frame of mind...I love that he cares enough about me to want to correct my naughty ways! After all, I misbehave to a) get noticed and b) to get a spanking!
Therefore, the scolding proves he noticed my behaviour, and shows he cares, the spanking shows he wants to have a good, well behaved wife, and is prepared to do whatever it takes to achieve that aim....
Now, I just need to work out how to adjust the severity of that aforementioned spanking....LOL
Great question, Bonnie! xxxxxxx
A scolding (lecture) does happen and plays a very important part before and during a discipline spanking, it sets the tone and puts the spankee (me) in the appropriate state of mind, without it I wouldn't be able to take discipline spankings and still feel loved, receptive to the (deserved) punishment and genuinely contrite afterwards.
It's also great during a fun spanking, but different sets of words and phrases are used, "you know what naughty girls get" - "come here I need to have a word with you", that kind of thing. It ads to the fun. gets me going too, phrases like that aren't for discipline.
Love.
Ronnie
xx
I think a scolding/lecture is very important. It reinforces the reasons for the spanking and puts both of us in the proper frame of mind as Ronnie said earlier. My spouse will sometimes make me tell her why I'm about to be punished, and then delivers the lecture during the spanking. It really does drive home the message in a way that a spanking by itself would not.
Cheers,
Rob
My husband always lectures and scolds me before and during a punishment. If he just lectures hes annoyed but if he scolds then Im in big trouble. I dont particuliarly like either one of these things as they make me feel worse for disappointing him. I guess thats why they're effective though. They make me totally remorseful for what I've done which really is the point of a punishment.
Suzanne
I think that scolding and lecturning is a very important part of a spanking, be it for fun or the serious kind. If it's for fun it triggers things inside me and the tone is very light and fun. Also I often tend to back talk a bit earning a a bit more. If it's serious my replys are mostly "yes" and "no" or no reply at all just listening and feeling as my bottom gets warmer and I feel sorry for what I've done.
Lectures are a big part of a spanking in my house. If it is a punishment spanking they are a huge part of the punishment. I usually hear that he is disappointed in my actions and that hurts worse then any spanking I could receive. I hate to disappoint my HOH.
I just can't get my head in the right space if there is not a lecture along with a spanking. Even during a who's/who there are always points to be brought up and it helps me to concentrate on why this is happening.
So I guess for me I need those verbal reminders as well as the painful reminder that he is in charge.
Great topic~
Janet
Scolding definitely plays a large role in our spankings. As a couple that practices both domestic discipline (to a point) and erotic spankings, there needs to be a firm difference between the two - otherwise punishment spankings are nowhere near effective, and erotic spankings wouldn't be fun. Mostly, it isn't the word choice but the overall tone that differentiates a scolding. "Now, are we going to have to do this again?" can be both stern and playful depending on how it's said. The reaction can be "No, sir!" or a bratty "Probably!" all depending on the mood and reason for the spanking.
What folks were saying about scolding getting you into the right frame of mind is absolutely true in our case. Without it, a lot of the meaning goes out of a spanking, whatever kind it might be.
Great brunch, guys! =D
-Caylee
Sometimes he does and sometimes he doesn't. It just depends on the situation. I prefer the fun teasing ones before a GG. The term young lady gives me butterflies no matter who says it. :)
Katia
For my own preferences I like formalized, ceremonial type play, so when the choice is mine there is no scolding just the execution style play.
However, it takes two (or more) to play and if the Top involved likes to hand out a scolding I am more than happy to play along. It is kind of fun to see how good a woman is at handing out a tongue lashing but she has to be aware that it will push my bratting button :)
Prefectdt
L has the happy knack of being able to chasten me when I need it without resorting to reproach or blame. My most recent punishment spanking was for ordering something online and being careless about filling out the payment authorisation so we paid twice for the same item. Ironically I had shopped around to get the best price! He praised me first for that, saying he knew I was never wasteful or extravagant, but that I was often too abstracted and preoccupied, and that was how I made mistakes. He said this time it had only cost us $25.95, but next time the consequences could be more serious and long-lasting. I nodded dispiritedly, because now I knew what his preventative measure against 'next time' would be. He said the holidays were coming up, and I had to learn to be more attentive and accurate before then, and 'jump start your situational awareness'.
I quailed when he told me to get the paddle - I dislike the paddle- but I also understood and shared his disquiet. This was a remedy that worked for us, consoling and mitigating as no mere 'reprieve' ever could. I did as I was bidden, and without further preamble was drawn over his lap for twenty-five strokes, the amount of the over-payment. Well, at least he didn't 'round up' the 95¢! :)
There's sometimes a bit of scolding before spanking punishments, generally if Paul thinks I haven't quite gotten why what I did was wrong (or doesn't think I found it wrong enough). It's not usual though.
I have hearing problems, so there isn't much talking from him during spankings. Or maybe there is but I don't notice it.
None at all, but as the punishment scene is erotic fodder for me - I wish it did sometimes...
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