Sunday, July 12, 2009

Recap: MBS Sunday Brunch for July 11

Our topic of the week was timed spankings. Here are your reactions.

Hermione: No, we haven't, and I'm not quite sure what the procedure is so I'll read the other comments with interest.

Our spankings are scheduled, so we always start at the same time, and despite the variations we introduce, we usually manage to finish about the same number of minutes later each time. Just call us organized!

Angie: Yes, I have, for both punishment and good girl kinds.

For good girl ones, it's fine, even though you have a tendency to go, “I have how many minutes left!?” Timed bad girl spankings just suck! That’s because you go “Oh gawd! I have how many minutes left?! No, please, something must be wrong!”

This Girl: I've been at spanking parties where they had a “three minute challenge.” The girl was OTK and the dom had to spank as hard as he could for three minutes. It tends to be harder for the top than the bottom!

Bitski: As for timed spankings, I never have, but I want to. It seems like there would be something comforting in knowing how long it's going to last. And to be honest, mine are usually too short. I'm not one to look at the clock, so I don't know how long (timewise) too short is. It’s just that it's usually over before I feel I've gotten somewhere. But then, my honey and I are pretty new at this, and I think he's still afraid of hurting me. When I found your blog, I immediately printed some things out for him to read. And it must be helping, because that was two days ago, and he gave me a spanking that night AND the next. Two days in a row is a first for us! So when your readers respond, I'd love to know a good time limit to set for newbies. Five minutes? Ten? Thirty with lots of play mixed in? I can't wait to add a timer just for fun.

Welcome, Bitski! It’s a pleasure to meet you and I’m glad you stopped by. As for newbie advice, I am inclined to suggest that you start slowly and work your way up as you become more comfortable with spanking and with each other in your new roles. Please feel free to write me anytime.

Daisy: No, we haven't done this. Davey always tells me how many swats/stings I am going to get with whatever implement. But as for timing instead of counting, I guess that depends on how fast the swats come, as to how many you get in a certain time!
Davey likes to vary the space between each swat. Sometimes, it’s fast and furious. Sometimes, it’s slow and calculated, often with a lecture between each one! I suppose if it is a timed spanking, the spanker tends to go faster to fit in more swats?

When we are together, maybe he will try that out as an experiment, especially if I sound reluctant! Therefore, I can say here and now, I look forward to it. LOL

JWLR: Timing is something we were just talking about. My wife, who gives the spankings, just can’t wait to find one of those hourglass timers to go with her hairbrush.

I hope, JWLR, for your sake, that’s she’s talking about an egg timer and not a true hourglass!

Our Bottoms Burn: I think that a timed spanking might be OK as a lark once in awhile. We have never done it. We don't count licks either. Spankings just go on until the spanker judges the spankee has had just the right amount. We have never had timed sex either. We will be interested in reading the responses to this question.

Dante d'Amore: We have only tried this once. It was this year when I foolishly gave Tiggr a Valentine’s Day gift of being able to spank me.

As someone who hates pain even more than I hate giving up control, there was no way I was giving her carte blanche.

I said she could use her hand only and had 60 seconds. It turned out that was about 45 seconds too much as anyone who has listened to either of the audio clips I have on my site from that ugly event will surely attest. In that case, timing it was good. It was very good, even if the chosen time wasn't so good.

When I am spanking, timing = BAD. A specific time equates to giving up some control. Me no likey. :)

Tiggs: How apropos, to be listed in the comments right after my dearest Dante's remarks here.

I didn't like having to time myself spanking Dante at all... Not at all. I'd much rather have all the control to do it the way I want, take as long as I want, use what I want, make it hurt or tingle or tickle as I want. You get the idea!

From the bottom's up point of view, I'd also hate a timed spanking... It’s no fun at all for either person, watching the clock!

Jean Marie: When I first read the topic for this week I cringed. Timed punishment is horrendous. You cannot believe how long five minutes can last when you are getting blasted with a paddle. In my household, timed punishment is only for when I'm really naughty, thank goodness! But I'm so sorry that you brought it up because now all these tops, mine especially, will have it in mind. I bet my bottom will be sorry about it by Sunday morning when my lover reads the brunch postings. Let's just say that they are effective but uncalled-for except in extreme circumstances.

For the nice newbie who asked how long they should go for; I'd suggest just half a minute for starters.

Publikk: I have done a few timed spankings. Mainly for fun. For instance, one time my girlfriend at the time and another local spankee friend recreated a video. It was one of the Raven Hills videos where they do a 5-minute hand spanking followed by two 5-minute spankings with an implement picked out of a hat. It was interesting and fun and it helped eliminate the awkwardness of us all playing together for the first time. It gave us an activity.

I don't think I'd use it for a real punishment unless I knew the person pretty well. You can go too far if you're focused on a timer rather than the person being spanked. But it was fun in this scenario.

Ashley J: Timed spankings are a paradox for me. On the one hand, they are nice because you have a fixed target to focus on for when it will be over. It can help me to get through the sting, knowing it’s just x seconds more and I can rely on that. On the bad side, it leaves me focusing on the time and not anything else. So if I'm supposed to be learning something because I messed up, all I'm really learning is how to count seconds in my head. I suppose it might work better if I didn't know how long but it's never been that way for me. I guess overall I have to say “no thanks” to them, but I know at least one spanker who really likes the concept.

Ally: I’ve never received a timed spanking, just a certain number of swats is announced, and that happens only rarely. Would I consider it? If it was up to me, I would only want timed spankings for fun. Even then, I probably wouldn't pay much attention to the time. It would just nice to have a basic idea of what to expect. That is IF I wanted to know. I don't know.

Prefectdt: No, I have never received a timed spanking. Yes, I will try it one day. There is always something new to try. Variety is the spice of life. :)

Penfold: Bear and I are also one of those that haven’t experimented with timed spankings, but our spankings are often around the same amount of time. Bear loves timing things, so maybe this would be a good one for us to explore!

Ronnie: I'm told when I'm going to get spanked and with what, but not timed. Our spankings are always different. That's what I like. Would I try it? Mmmm, I think so, but I’m not sure how it would work for us. I don't think I'd like it.

Missy H: En route to Charleston/Myrtle Beach, I made a slight detour to Jamestown, North Carolina to test drive a Robospanker at the manufacturers. They were very accommodating and set the timer (which has increments from 2 to 15 minutes) for a nice four minute (on the low setting) session.

I tipped it $20 and afterward seriously considered transferring to nearby UNC/Chapel Hill.

It may be too 'impersonal' for some, but it was nice for once not having to worry that a top's arm was getting tired.

Irelynn: I haven't, no. There was a threat of it once, during a roleplay I did a few years ago. But I don't remember it actually being done.

I would definitely be interested though! As I don't do discipline type spankings, it would be in a roleplay or just a fun, spur-of-the-moment spanking. I think there's a certain attraction in seeing the seconds pass by, knowing exactly when it's going to stop and how long you have yet to go. It might turn out that I don't like it at all once I actually try it, but it sure sounds like a nice variation on "normal" spankings to me!

Scunge: I think at a spanking party or in roleplay, My Sir would be up for it, but not otherwise. We ALWAYS run out of time as it is! Things will be better once we are able to be 24/7. Until then, I just enjoy (or endure for discipline) what I get when I get it!

Anon: It's good to have a variety of ways to do this. It keeps it fresh and always new. I am in favor of mutual consent first novelty in this, as in other areas of intimacy.

Loki: The first time I ever saw a timed spanking was when I purchased a RavenHill Beach Girl spanking video. There were three five-minute long spankings with various implements and I fell in love right then and there with the whole concept.

I have used timed spankings every so often, and for my birthday, my fiancé bought me an hourglass. Trust me when I say that it is hilarious to spank or be spanked while watching the sands flow. Time itself seems to slow down!

Cowgirl: We have done timed spankings before, when I was a bit "bratty." Chase would give me one to five minute spankings, depending on the "offense," and he would spank as fast (and hard) as he could for that amount of time. Sometimes, it was a bit much, as the time increased. It was my job to tell him when to start and finish. LOL We had fun with it!

Bonnie: Yes, we have tried timed spankings. There’s nothing wrong with the concept, but the implementation can sometimes be problematic. Randy knows that my bottom can tolerate at least as much hand-spanking as his hand can. Therefore, he likes to choose a stout wooden implement instead. This is where things get a bit dicey. The natural inclination of the male mind is to interpret such activities as a competition. Randy tries, therefore, to spank as hard and fast as humanly possible. From my perspective (staring at the carpet), this takes a lot of the fun out of the game. Three minutes may sound like a very brief spanking, but at full power and top speed, it can be absolutely all I want.

For those just getting started, I must urge caution when experimenting with timed spankings. Specifically, the presence of a timer does not eliminate the spanker’s responsibility to monitor the spankee’s safety. Likewise, it does not remove the expectation that the spankee will call her safeword if she feels overwhelmed or endangered. On the other hand, if you know each other well and you’re familiar with spanking, I say synchronize your watches and go for it!

Thank you to everyone who added their insights to our brunch. This discussion gives a whole new meaning to the phrase, "Beat the clock!" I hope to see you again next weekend.

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