Our topic of the week was interruptions. Here are your insights.
Sara: Spankus Interuptus is a most unfortunate event, and we try to avoid it with good planning. That means creating privacy and an awareness of sound control. If and when it happens, and it has, we usually try to resume if at all possible. But getting back in the mood can be difficult. This might even mean that we have to start back at the very beginning! :)
Greenwoman: Generally, my husband and I didn't start play unless we knew we wouldn't be interrupted. But if we were, we didn't try to pick up where we left off. We just cuddled a lot later when we got time again.
As for other partners? We always had adult only time, so there were no interruptions at all ever. Either the date was on or it wasn't.
I think it’s important to make couples time that's never interrupted.
Zille Defeu: Sara – I love the term "Spankus Interuptus!"
My Master/husband and I live in an apartment, with no one to interrupt us, so we're quite lucky in that regard.
Normally, there might be an interruption in a scene when there is a technical difficult ("Help, there's lube spilled on the floor and my feet are sliding out from me!" being one example, during a caning that was actually coitus interruptus itself!) and in that case, we just fix the problem and move on like nothing happened.
If one or both of us seriously looses "the groove," we just have snuggle time and then work our way back into it, or start something new.
It used to be a bigger issue for me, with past partners. I'm glad I'm past that stage, and can just "deal and move on" now. It makes things soooooo much easier!
Hermione: We always sequester our animals in another part of the house, out of sight and earshot, to eliminate the most likely source of interruption. We aren't usually interrupted by the telephone or an unexpected visitor, but it does happen from time to time. I have written about two such occasions on my blog. In one, we carried on in spite of the disturbance. In the other, we abandoned the session.
Daisy: So far, Davey and I have never been interrupted. Since I have been going out to see him and we stay at an hotel/motel for the duration, there is no one to interrupt there!
Last time though, we stayed mostly with family, after getting married, and that just meant there was hardly any spanking, unless they had gone shopping or some such and the spankings were then short and hurried, to ENSURE no interruptions. It would have been TOO embarrassing for words!
Fortunately, our room was directly above the noisy automatic opening garage door, so we had pre-warning of their return!
Jean Marie: I'm very fortunate to be living with a man who has a well appointed room in his house designated for D/s play. I wouldn't call it a dungeon. It’s more of a playpen. But when we go in there, there is already a mindset that we're closing out the rest of the world. We're not married and there are no children to worry about. It's a special place to express our special appetite for kink. But just as we don't only eat in the dining room, we don't only spank in the playroom.
Here are three things I've learned from past relationships to avoid interruptions:
- Turn off all electronics. Our D/s expression and resultant love-making are more important than some phone call or text.
- Kennel the dog. The very first time I was bound over the spanking bench, my dog wandered in and stuck his cold nose right up my butt. I was blindfolded and thought it was an ice cube. My loud yelp and giggles spoiled the mood.
- Pee first. I have an over-active bladder, and the excitement of the scenario often makes me want to pee. It's torture enough to be caned, I don't need the added pressure of trying not to let go.
Anon #1: In my case, it is a bit tougher. We get interrupted lots of times. When we play in the house, we must deal with kids and other people. Recently, a craftsman came to work on the windows from the outside. He dropped everything and fled when he heard me scream. The other evening, we tried the boat and fishermen came to do their nightly fishing next to it.
When we get interrupted after I have started to get very aroused, and before we were finished, it unfortunately seriously troubles me. I cry a lot, I feel kind of depressed, and I stay kind of submissive... oh oh oh.
Abby: Mr. W and I are lucky enough to not experience interruptions mid-session, but our biggest issue tends to be major interruptions between the time it becomes apparent there is going to be a spanking and the occurrence of the spanking itself. Actually getting to the spanking we've planned has become quite the complication.
Usually, the subject comes up via text message during the day, or a phone call, or occasionally on the ride home from somewhere. We'll be all excited and geared up, and then something dramatic happens at work, or we get a call that one of our family members is in the hospital (that's been happening way too much lately, though everyone is OK), or something else that just kills the mood. We even took a mini-vacation recently with the specific intent of a long punishment during our one night away, and something got in the way. Fortunately, we had plenty of time in the morning before we left the hotel.
My only advice for myself and for anyone else experiencing interruptions is make a date, as soon as possible, to try again.
Here’s some important advice for tops: You are in charge of making it happen. Reschedule, and COMMIT. Even if the spanking relationship is more for sex/play than for discipline, bottoms still need their tops to take control when things like this happen. Having to remind someone that they promised to spank you is awkward for everybody.
Anon #2: Kids and pets are our biggest interrupters to avoid. We usually save it all for later at night when the kids are asleep. There have been times when I'm laying on the bed during sex or spanking and I'll look over and see my cat staring at me with this smug look on her face. It totally makes me laugh, but I usually get back in the mood quickly. Needless to say, I try to make sure the cat is out of the room now.
Bonnie: Even though there is no one else living in the house, Randy and I still schedule many of our sessions. We try to find a time when we can shut out all of life’s distractions. We generally don’t stop for telephones or people banging on the door (though the latter might convince us to hold it down for a few minutes). This arrangement generally works well.
However, earlier in our marriage, when our daughter was at home and frequently accompanied by friends, we had to be more resourceful. We planned to meet at home during school hours. We encouraged our little angel to hold sleepovers for her pals in hopes that their parents would eventually reciprocate (this worked). In the summers, she attended various overnight camps. We made full use of our opportunities.
Even so, we sometimes found it necessary to play at night while our daughter was presumably asleep. She was, and is, a sound sleeper, but I still worried about her hearing something she shouldn’t. We had no incidents, but it added a level of stress that I don’t miss. Fortunately, as she grew older, she was involved in after-school activities. These became our spanko haven.
When we are interrupted, I usually want to finish what we’ve started, but it can be difficult to get back into that same mind space. Sometimes it’s possible to continue and other times, it simply has to wait until later.
Thanks to everyone who shared their thoughts. I hope you’ll join us again next weekend when we take up another relevant spanko topic.
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