Welcome back, dear friends. Our question this week was sent to me by a reader. It was unclear from his e-mail whether this is a real situation or a hypothetical scenario. In either case, I figured you'd have some worthwhile insights.
Suppose you learned through an accidentally overheard telephone conversation that a coworker (someone with whom you cordially deal every day, but not a close friend) has a more than casual interest in adult spanking. No one else in the workplace knows and the person doesn't know that you know.
How would you feel? Would you react in any way? Would you consider cautioning them about telephone habits? Would you consider outing yourself to them?
If you would like to answer our question, I encourage you to leave a comment below. Once everyone has spoken, I will compile an edited summary of our conversation.
20 comments :
If you care about your job...
1) Be careful about possible sexual harassment charges in the workplace.
2) Be careful about possible sexual harassment charges in the workplace.
3) Be careful about possible sexual harassment charges in the workplace.
It would depend on several things... but chances are, at the workplace... I'd just let it go. What "spanking" is can mean so many things, and even vanilla's talk and joke about it. Could not only lead to problems for me... but the person I overheard might be very uncomfortable with it.
Doesn't mean there is no way I'd ever bring it up though. If there person were a friend outside of work... or really-really hot (lol)... I'd consider it.
;)
~Todd (and Suzy)
This question made me do some soul-searching.
First, it would thrill me to overhear someone using the words "adult spanking" in the workplace. I think I'd use the post office mailbox that I use for writing submissions to contact them anonymously. I would warn them to be careful about being overheard on the phone in the future. Then I'd relate that they had nothing to worry about from me, that I was a fellow-spanko. Now this is where it gets dicey; there's that phrase about a bear not pooping where he eats, meaning don't have sex where you work. But I'm a highly sexed girl, and bi-curious, so everybody is in-play. If I found them attractive, I'd probably gradually try to get to know this person, get better acquainted, and slowly reveal my tastes and appetites to them over time.
Contemplating this made-up situation made me have to confront myself honestly; it also got me aroused.
Jean Marie
I would most definitely keep my mouth shut. But keep my ears open for future references. Perhaps an anonymous note regarding phone etiquitte.
dieseldiva
It would very much depend on the person concerned. Can you trust them? Are they discreet? Is it a nice person? Are they the sort who can keep their work and social life separate?
It is always good to find another kinkster to interact with, even if they are not a potential playmate (might be a bloke) and all you would ever do is chat to them about stuff, outside of work, wherever you find them but it is also important to keep work and social life seperate. I think basically it comes down to assessing the individual concerned and proceeding with caution.
Prefectdt
First, I'd smile quietly to myself, 'cause it's always fun to hear some spanking comment--even if by accident. That would be the extent of my reaction. I certainly wouldn't caution them about phone etiquette--it was something accidentally over heard, after all. They weren't broadcasting it. I just got lucky enough to hear it. And I certainly wouldn't out myself--that could lead to all kinds of trouble!
I might, at most, try dropping a casual comment around them--if, say, something got screwed up I might say, "They should all be taken out back and spanked" or some such--and see what reaction it gets, if any.
Other than that, though, I'd leave it alone. It is someone you only know cordially--friendly, but not a friend. Any other response would be inappropriate.
Id feel quite intrigued by the whole convo, and a bit naughty for listening in in the first place, but I also agree I wouldn't speak to them directly. Either to say about there phone habits or to out myself... (I would however chat to Bear about it and see what he thought) Weather id drop subtle hints in later conversations would have to depend on the circumstances and the only way I would do this is if it was a fellow female worker. NEVER a male worker!!!!!!!!! That would be suicidal!!!!!!
Penfold
Definately think quiet - if they think i'm the sort of person who sticks my nose in on other peoples conversations are they going to trust me about their kink? no.
I would keep quiet...even if they were hot!
TG xx
“Not that I'm paranoid, it's just that everyone’s after me.”
I would avoid any comment that would let on that I knew anything. The workplace these days must be just that, the workplace... Nothing more.
These times unfortunately there are far too many things that can be considered harassment and too many zero tolerance situations combined with in many situations far too many surprise backstapers behind every corner.
In our open-concept office, where everyone can hear everyone else, I have been known to say to a colleague that "I was eavesdropping and ..." so I could help with a work-related problem. As far as personal conversations are concerned, the unwritten rule we all follow is to ignore them and pretend we haven't heard a thing.
If I were to overhear a conversation involving the S word I would certainly prick up my ears and listen carefully. But I would not consider outing myself to this coworker or letting him or her know I had overheard one side of what I assume was a personal and intimate conversation. I might watch the person a little more closely and perhaps try to listen to more phone conversations out of curiosity.
I pretty much agree with the general feeling on this one. Of course, it would depend on what kind of a work-place it was. In an office, I'd just pretend I hadn't heard anything, and occasionally smile to myself about it. In a more relaxed, physical-labour type job (the kind I've had more often) I find there tends to be a lot of leeway about what you talk and joke about. When I've been working at some grimy job with a bunch of dudes, there's been a lot of risqué joking around that would never be tolerated in an office environment, but that everybody takes as it's meant--in good fun. In that situation I might tease the person and joke about it with them. I've had spanking themes come up jokingly in work before, actually, and it was all just silliness and something for me to smirk about in private.
But I don't think I'd ever approach the subject seriously or in earnest, no matter what the surroundings. And I'd never ever out myself, either.
Once a long long time ago I worked for a fairly famous chain restaurant. One night A couple of the waitstaff were making jokes about it and one even bent over so the other could spank them. My only thought was, "I have a paddle in the car, if your going to spank.... then do it right."
Unless they approached me, or it came up in a private conversation between us I wouldn't mention it. It would probably just lead to awkwardness or possible sexual harassment charges. No good!
My inclination in almost every case is to leave such things alone. They're none of my business. Now, having said that, if the person were a close friend or relative, I might suggest speaking more softly, or perhaps better, not at all about the subject while on the phone in the workplace. Otherwise, it would be hands-off (no pun intended) as far as I was concerned; and no, I'd not "out" myself. Just like his/her business isn't mine, mine's not his or hers.
Anon VII
Once I imagined being in the place of the person who was overheard, the answer was easy and obvious. I would want my co-worker to forget it ever happened and say nothing. I’m quite comfortable with my kink, but if I were approached about it by a male colleague, I would be mortified. Even if my job weren’t threatened (and I would probably be safe in that regard), my credibility around the office would definitely be damaged if word got around.
It’s a shame we must wear these masks, but until the world changes, mine will remain securely in place.
First off, I'd gain a newfound respect for that person. Where I come from, people seriously believe that the only "correct" way to have sex is the missionary position, so it would make me happy inside knowing that SOMEONE was exploring something "atypical" that they enjoy. I'm not sure I'd bring it up to them unless we became close, though. It opens too many doors that could harm me or that person if someone else were to find out (for example, that other co-worker didn't keep secrets very well).
I have not had that experience but my domme girlfriend often says she will invite a witness and in the meantime, at the very least, I must be un-self-conscious in the gym changing room and let my reddened ass show. I am not as uncomfortable as when she first started demanding this. But I have twice noticed other guys with marks, one looked like he got the cane very badly and he also seemed bald around te genitals, another sign of having a dominant wife. I did not say a thing, but it left me feeling much more comfortable about my own kinky proclivities.
I'll carry forward the "toothpaste out of the tube" concept, and add that the cap of the tube should remain tight. So far, comments have been levelheaded and realistic. It's simply not worth the risk in most instances.
Now, what I REALLY want to know is how some of our most beloved,high profile scene models, who also maintain fulltime positions in the work world, manage to completely elude detection, when, in one particular case, her magnificently sculpted bare rump, whether spanked or unspanked, is as easily recognizable as her very pretty girl-next-door face?
It's always good to think and hope that someone you know and work with is into the things that you are into. The thing is that you have to be careful. Very careful. I hate to sound harsh, but it is far too easy for someone to cry 'HARASSMENT!!!" these days. Not to mention those who would seek promotion through character assasination.
I would suggest a very stealthy approach towards finding out for certain, with plenty of avenues of escape as a precaution.
I hope this is not much of a downer, but it's the times we are living in.
Hi, i like your blog, i have a spanking blog to. If you want we can exchange links betwen our blogs.
Let me know what you think!
Best Regards
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