Bonnie's Mailbag

It’s been ages since we opened the mailbag. It’s so full that I can barely lift it! Let’s dig right in.

Question: So is ur butt soft or hard?

Response: I’d put it midway between a granite block and a feather pillow.

Question: How do I join your group? I have been reading your entries for quite some time and I can't help but say I admire your work and wish I could say so on the blog itself. Plus, I'd like to be able to join the discussions. They are quite interesting. Can you tell me how to join? I would appreciate it.

Response: There really isn't any formal group to join. This is my blog and I enjoy posting my thoughts and experiences. I am fortunate to have loyal readers, many of whom add comments. Some have accounts with Blogger, while others prefer to remain anonymous.

In any case, your perspectives are always welcome at MBS.

Comment: I would love to spank u i HAVE 25 YEARS IN PNISHING BRATS

Response: Um, hello. I’m not a brat and I don’t need to be pnished, especially by someone I’ve not even met.

Question: u said a while back that u had spanking posts like actual spankings i think u said either halloween or christmas and some other ones but u said that u was tierd or didnt feel up to it or u was busy with other stuff i was wondering if u was going to post them if u still remembered them.

Response: If I don't record an account within a few days, I forget the precious details. If I haven't written about those experiences before now, it just isn't going to happen. Fortunately, I have no shortage of new material. I lack only the time and energy necessary to transform it into stories. Such is life...

Question: My girlfrined and I started our first spanking last wknd. We each layed on the bed while the other gave the swats with our hands. When do you think it would be proper to do away with the hands and bring in a paddle? My girl acted like she loved giving the swats, but when it come to her time she only wanted to stay with the medium swats while I took the hard swats which was full swing with the hand. Any advice would sure be appriciated.

Response: I think it would be beneficial for you and your girlfriend to discuss your experience, how you felt about it, and how best to proceed. Assuming you are both consenting adults and a few basic safety rules are observed, there really isn't any definitive right or wrong approach, except in the context of one couple's relationship.

I recognize that it can be difficult to talk about these topics, but it truly is best. It's great to experiment and have fun with it. Do the things that you both enjoy. Through open communication, you may discover that you share more new desires.

In any case, I doubt you'll ever do away with hands. That skin-to-skin contact is just too delicious to skip. You may add implements in the future, but for most of us, hands maintain a special status.

Question: I live in the ______ area and am interested in being spanked. I never have been before. I am in a long term relationship, but would like to be spanked outside of it. Obviously, my need for discretion cuts off a few avenues that newbies would normally go down. I don't feel the need, nor would I, look to professionals for this...but I have to imagine there is someone (female) out there who would be willing to indulge me? I am 35 and relatively fit/attractive. What would you suggest?

Response: I’m not aware of anyone in _______ who fits your description, but I believe there are spanking-oriented groups in your general area. You can find them with a Web search or listed in your local alternative newspaper. These folks may be able to help you make a connection. There’s also Craig’s List or similar personal ads. These are no panacea, but I know they work for some people.

With that said, I would devote a lot of thought and reflection before deciding to endanger your LTR as you describe. While I recognize that sexual intimacy and spanking aren’t necessarily always connected, for many of us, one naturally follows the other. If you love your partner, I must urge caution.

Question: I have a question about a particular acronym that I've heard used here and other places and would rather not look like a moron for asking. What does DH mean in terms of a spanking or DD or D/s relationship?

Response: The acronym DH is used almost exclusively in the context of domestic discipline. It stands for dominant husband (although I have seen disciplinary husband and dear husband as well). It means a husband who accepts the leadership role and disciplines his wife, typically through spanking. HOH (head of household) is another frequently used DD term that has a similar meaning.

Question: Is there any way to search your blog?

Response: Yes. There is a search box at the left side of the Blogger bar at the top of each page.

Question: In your recent post, you stated the eight elements that would make you not want to link a blog. Among those elements, you listed a word which I am unclear on the meaning. What is misogyny? I can better understand your reasoning if I am made clear on the definition of the word.

Response: A misogynist is a person who hates women. This is my shorthand for people who believe that we are intrinsically inferior and deserve to be beaten by men. Naturally, I totally reject this perspective and will not allow my blog to be used to advance it.

Question: My husband like to get spankings and I love giving them (although I'm not dom, I just love to give my husband what he wants). So, here's my question... how many men vs. women like to recieve spankings? I ask this because I would LOVE to take him to a party to recieve a spanking from another woman, but from what I've found, it seems like it's all women recieving.

Response: You ask an interesting question and one to which I don't know the complete answer. There are certainly more female spankees who blog, but I'm not sure that's necessarily reflective of the overall population.

Here are the results from a poll I did of my readers a year ago.

I recognize that MBS readers are not exactly a cross-section of all spanking enthusiasts, but it’s the best measure I have. I was delighted by the variety of different perspectives and orientations.

There are several blogs written by male spankees. The most popular of these is Spanked Hubby. Mike is a nice guy and very helpful.

Here is the blog of an interesting woman who is a switch. Sandy can offer a different flavor of insight.

I believe what you seek is out there, but it may take some looking.

Comment: You keep go'in girl

Response: I’m a-goin’ all right

Comment: Some of the links in your blogroll are not showing "Updated" even when they are.

Response: I use a service called Blogrolling to manage my external links. Most of the time, it works pretty well, but they have experienced some messy lapses over the past couple of years. The problem you observed is a disappointment, but not a surprise. Someday, when I’m feeling truly inspired, I may move all of those links. But that’s not a chore I relish.

Question: Will you exchange links with my commercial site?

Response: I’ve documented my linking policy a number of times (most recently here). Basically, I don’t generally link commercial sites unless they are truly spanking-oriented and offer considerable free content.

Question: If this is Bonnie answer, if not forget it. Do you like to spank men? I wonder what it is like. I have never been spanked or dominated by a women.

Response: Yes, I’m still Bonnie. No, I don’t spank anyone.

Question: have you ever been spanked on the bare bum while having your period? di your mum ever do that to you?
would you sell me your used tampons and sani pads for me to enjoy while reading ur site pls?

Response: I’ve had guys offer to buy my underwear before, but this request is a first. I believe postal regulations prohibit the transport of hazardous materials.

Question: Have you spanked Randy or anybody else?

Response: Nope.

Question: The last spanking I experienced was a little over two weeks ago and it has me concerned. It was by far the best spanking I have ever had. The spanker knew exactly what I needed and took me to a place I have never been before. The spanking started out normally enough, if spanking can be said to be normal. Then it escalated and became the most severe of my spanking life. Afterward, and for the next several days, whenever I moved I was reminded of the spanking. It was perfect. That perfection is the cause of my concern. Although I have thought of getting another spanking, I really have no desire to be spanked. I am apprehensive that no spanking will ever be as wonderful as my last was. Is it possible to be so perfectly spanked that you never need or want another?

Response: I seriously doubt that will be a permanent problem. If you’re anything like me, the itch will return in time.

Question: Is it really possible to be your age and have such a spankable backside like that?

Response: Absolutely!

Comment: You have a very gorgeous ass. I bet your gorgeous ass is spanked & fucked a lot. I know if I were there with you, I'd spank & fuck your ass all the time.

Response: Excuse me, but what ever happened to hello?

Comment: howe are you?
i think you need a spank?
i can do it.,

Response: At least this guy asked me how(e) I was before offering to wail on me.

Comment: What i would do to that backside........

Response: In your dreams, my friend, only in your dreams.

Question: Do you like showing panty lines?

Response: It’s not something I spend a lot of time worrying about. My fashion sense leans toward the practical. If it’s comfortable, functional, and looks good, that’s what I want to wear.

Question: As you get older, do you find your appetite for spanking diminishing?

Response: No, not at all.

Thanks, everyone for your messages.