Thursday, May 01, 2008

Keyword Chaos Recirculated

Yes, it's time again to have a little fun with search engine keywords. What you see below is a series of terms that somehow brought people here. As an aid to better understanding of this phenomenon, I've added my interpretation to each.

  • embarrassing short trouser and spanking stories - I simply couldn't find a tailor anywhere

  • spank me panties - Then you can pull them down and spank me bottom too

  • spanking thong - It works best when you aim for the fleshy parts on either side

  • light spanking - Beware the dreaded laser cane!

  • spanking hard - Condition of an enthusiastic male spanker upon completion

  • virtual spanking games - I much prefer real spanking without the games

  • spanking in the garden - Look, the roses are out early this year

  • vanilla ponygirl - That must be sort of like plain plaid

  • 1900 porno - Bend over, look through the slot, and turn this crank

  • 5 uses for a wooden doorstop - I wonder what the other three are

  • adult girl bottoms - We call those adult girls women

  • analsex mit Bonnie - Nein! Sie können nicht

  • ass we wish - I'll bet you do wish

  • best bubble butts spanked - I know a lot of MBS readers would pay to see a best bubble butt contest, especially if there were a spanking competition

  • break spanking addiction - What will it be? Twelve steps or six of the best?

  • bubble but spank - Hey, Lawrence Welk wasn't using it

  • buttman spanking - Holy hairbrushes, Buttman!

  • cute sorority paddle ideas - Smacking someone's bottom can be pretty cute

  • does getting spanked with a holed paddle hurt - Yeah, Einstein, it sure does

  • extended wear butt plug - The latest model is made of Kevlar and polycarbonate

  • spanking swat team - Special weapons and tactics indeed

  • fantasy island where women are spanked - "It's de pain, boss, de pain!"

  • fat ass spankings - Well, that sounds appealing, doesn't it?

  • female masochist mental profile what they want spanking - Mental profile? We're all different. Don't bother looking for a single common factor

  • friends laying in our jockey underwear - If you're going to wear our underwear, you can at least help pick up around here

  • fun ways to tease a bottome - We can start by misspelling the word

  • I love spankings - Really? Me too!

  • in my niece's panty drawer - Let's allow the kid to enjoy her childhood, OK?

  • long handled wooden bath brush spank - Then you really don't want to sit for a while

  • my bottoms smart - They must be collecting the whole set!

  • my wife has an attudie can I spank her - That depends on her attudie about spankies

  • ouch my bottom smarts - That's a catchy name

  • painful spankings - Always the best kind

  • panty school sir please paddle - Gym class is the highlight of the day at panty school

  • Pennsylvania real spanking bed and breakfast rental - They actually have a special paddle that's shaped like a keystone!

  • raunchy ladies pics - There's an oxymoron

  • red delicious spanking - It was so weird - He wanted to throw apples at my butt

  • romantic anal discipline temperature spanking fiction stories - Romantic anal discipline? That would have to be fiction

  • should I punish with granny panties? - No, that's the most useless implement ever. Find a hairbrush

  • slippery bottom - Watch me slide down the hill without a sled

  • smelly pantyhose gusset stories - I'm amazed by what appeals to some people

  • solution to end spanking - Have you tried your safeword?

  • spanked on first date - Doesn't anyone just have dinner anymore?

  • spanking my bitch - Unhand that poor dog!

  • spanking novelties - Randy once bought me a key chain in the shape of a sorority paddle

  • spanking on your knee her wife - Hmmm, pronoun trouble...

  • victorion spanking - It's the new conservative superhero

  • virtual spankee - Wesley, what was all that screaming coming from the holodeck?

  • what should dante advise kk to do about tagging its product? - Tie a small strip of red fabric to your center belt loop in back

  • what's up girlfriend? - You go girl!

  • when was your last spanking - Earlier tonight!

  • why do bare bottom spankings hurt? - Why do people ask these silly questions?

  • wife spanking parties - It's more fun than a quilting bee

  • women being spanked with dildos inserted in anus - The plural form is cause for concern

  • worst spanking implements - I remember a thin souvenir paddle that was made from pine and only lasted one swat


Thomas_III said...

I recently got a hit tracker and started to get an idea of who was coming to my blog. I made a post about some of those statistics, including what I felt was the oddest search keywords that led someone to my blog.

"long hair dangling"

Dr. Ken said...

"spanking on your knee her wife"

Hey, look--Yoda did a Google search!

Dr. Ken

Amy said...

You bring a smile to my face always-i wish i had your wit!!

Paul said...

Bonnie, thank you, this one is always a chuckle.
Warm hugs,

david said...

Bonnie, This was just great.

*hugs and grins*

Hermione said...

Spanking hard - I'll bet the response to that one was Randy's.

It's the silly season, all right! Thanks for the laugh.


Terpsichore said...

this always makes me laugh :-)

River said...

I so love your sense of humor. Everytime I read a Keyword Chaos post on this site I end up laughing out loud like a total buffoon. My husband usually comes to investigate and tells me I don't get out enough! (It's true, most of my converations happen with 2 and 4 year olds.) Thanks for making me laugh!


Ms. Betty said...

LOLOL. Oh dear. I laughed so hard I woke up both cats and my husband heard me in from the shower. (small apartment)

You're right, spanking with panties is even more useless than manila folders, no paper cuts, though. Hm..maybe if you snapped the panties like a towel it would work?

As for Wesley, I always thought he was the one who needed the spanking, but then I'm just mean.

Ms. Betty

Michael said...

Love your Keywords Chaos posts, Bonnie. Makes you wonder about people. Thanks for the laughs.


Dragon & Tiger said...

LOL! Those are too dang funny but your commentary on them makes them hysterical!


Anonymous said...

We all love the search terms that lead to your blog and your comments but I would like to suggest that maybe a bit of reverse searching psychology employed through the leadership of your blog might lead to new travel destination being developed resulting in more spots like the cabin you featured some time ago. This came to me while reading Saturday’s Canadian Globe and Mail reports on the “nakation” trend – nude vacations. It refers to creating a new category for nudist spa vacations after noticing an increase in searches for that term, to the tune of around 720 a month beating out pet-friendly at 284 and waxing services at 298. So, imagine if all of us who read your blog religiously in the spanko community searched “spanking spa vacations”, what kind of response might result? Resorts, cruises, spas might all be flocking to service our community with the “spankation” travel opportunity. Well, and it might be some fun for someone.

PS. A search of “spanking vacations” gave no results without removing the brackets, but upon doing so, this site, the spanking writers and a number of other blogs listed in your blogroll all came up. Sorry for the length – feel free to edit.

jo lee

Anonymous said...

Hi, Bonnie, I always read and enjoy your blog, but Keyword Chaos is one of my favourite things! Very witty!!
Nausicaa (from over the ocean and far away)

Melanie said...

I realize I'm a little late but I'm laughing so hard I can barely leave a comment. Very well done, it was just what I needed today.

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