Monday, April 14, 2008

Recap: MBS Sunday Brunch for Apr 13

Our brunch topic this week was spanking addiction. Is there such a condition, and if so, how might one treat it? here are your thoughts.

PK: Yes, there is such a thing as a spanking addition. The treatments that works best in my case is multiple hard swats to the rear end. That will often push the craving away for a few hours!

Lucy: Yep, spanking addictions are real. I looked it up in my psychology textbook. (Guess who's jean-clad butt was next to the entry ;0) But seriously, Jekyll used to threaten to NOT spank me when I was bad. So I guess you could say some of us are addicted.

Jessica: I think that it is definitely addictive. It is like having a sex addiction or a food addiction or whatever. What makes something diagnosable, and requiring treatment, is whether or not it interferes in your functioning. If you look it up in the DSM IV (what psychiatrists use) the key to any fetish becoming a diagnosis is whether or not it interferes with your life.

For me, it only enhances. *big grin! If you can't get to work or participate with your family, you may want to look at what you are doing.

Now reading blogs... That sometimes gets me hooked and staying up too late. This will be a topic of discussion with my husband this evening OTK! Apparently 3 AM is past my bedtime!

Paqster: Yeah, there are spanking addictions like any others...

But the treatments are a bit backwards. You can spank someone for cigarette addiction and maybe that will help them. But if you do it for a spanking addiction, you're just feeding the habit!

Still, there are times when I am just craaaving a great spanking. It’s like a nicotine fit... A spank fit...

Anon VII: I know there's at least a potential addiction for tops (voice of experience, here!), and the previous postings confirmed my suspicion that there's one for bottoms as well.

Actually, I already had a strong suspicion. I once knew a little cutie who I playfully teased about her chocolate addiction, telling her that I was going to have to spank her to cure her of it. Well, she smiled both broadly and foxily and agreed to tell me the next time she indulged in the forbidden sweet. We both kept our promises. After I paddled her (she said OTK wouldn't be effective enough), she turned and pounced on me, and you know the rest of that story. A couple of weeks and numerous swats later, I found out that she was fibbing to me about the chocolate because, well, you know that also. Needless to say, I was quite hooked on her in more ways than one.

Paul: Bonnie, there is no question. Of course spanking is addictive. I imagine that most Doms know the withdrawal symptoms.

They include increased brattiness, sulking, pouting, naughtiness, unexplained bursts of crying and finally throwing things. If you haven't taken her in hand by that point, I suggest that you resign as a Dom and start selling ice-cream. You know which flavour. Chuckle.

morningstar: I have to say that I am not entirely sure whether it is the spanking I am addicted to, or the after-effects.

The chemicals released in my brain during / following a long spanking session are rather amazing and wonderful. I have been told they are pretty much like the chemicals released when one has had mind blowing sex. OR some pretty good drugs (personally, I will stick to the spanking and sex to acquire those chemicals – thank you very much).

It is quite simple to know if one has such an addiction – one craves it, and craves it, and craves it some more.

As for a cure, why would anyone wish to be cured? It is not an illegal drug. It is not financially ruining anyone. It most certainly does not put weight on (like food addictions) nor does it rot the teeth (like chocolate addictions).

In my humble opinion, WHY would anyone want to cure this type of addiction? Certainly not me!

And on a little more serious note, although I am totally and thoroughly addicted to spankings (and a few other things like whips and chains and floggers!), it can all be washed away in a blink of an eye when one's health is not up to scratch. So I wonder how serious an addiction it can be?

AKA Ireland: I think we all agree on the serious side, yes. People can get addicted to just about anything. As far needing spanking for arousal, well, that's the definition of a fetish.

On a lighter note: Does it work like other addictions? Does a playful swat on the rear lead to harder and harder implements? Will it someday impact their daily life? Will the addict not be able to perform at work because of trouble sitting?

Maybe I'll start a spanking clinic. I can't say anyone will lose their addiction, but it will give people a safe controlled environment where I can spank them. I mean they can get spanked by who they want. I'll oversee, of course, to make sure everything is OK.

Hermione: Spanking certainly can become an addiction. Being spanked causes endorphins to be released by the body to help it deal with the pain. Endorphins make us feel good so we want more.

Signs of spanking addiction include frequent thoughts of spanking, reading spanking blogs daily and the constant craving for more.

The only known treatment is to be spanked. Fortunately, there is no cure.

Anon: "Addiction" is such a loaded word. I don't know that it applies. I know, now, that spanking is integral to me and something that I'm wired to enjoy and crave. I don't think I can change it, any more than I could go from being right to left handed. For a long time, though, for more than 20 years, I believed I was odd or off somehow – emotionally or mentally not fully formed, or just perverted. I just got to the place where I think this part of my sexuality is healthy and normal. I really don't want to consider it an addiction!

That said, a few weeks ago a reader revealed to Bonnie that she feared if she and her mate started spanking she or they wouldn't want sex again without it – that gentle, loving sex would go away. That comment struck me, because I vastly prefer sex preceded by spanking to any other kind! But maybe that's because I waited so long for it and it still doesn't happen nearly as often as I'd like it.

You can definitely get addicted to blogs and frittering away all sorts of time. That's where a kindly yet firm spouse who only has your best interests at heart comes in quite handy!

Mary: LOL, I agree with Jessica (that an addiction is problem when it interferes with everyday life), and with morningstar (since it only seems to enhance mine, why would anyone want to cure it?) Paul described withdrawal symptoms well, although I don't throw. I stomp my feet. I do think you can cure this addiction with 'the hair of the dog that bit you' mentality. If spanked real hard, to the point where I remember “Uh-oh, this isn't as easy as it seems in fantasy,” I don’t want one for a few hours at least. :-).

Sara: Yep, I am with Jessica. You can become 'addicted' to anything in terms of craving it, but does it interfere with the rest of your life? Coffee, Internet, shopping, chocolate, and spankings are all non-dangerous inclinations unless they take over your life. And if not, who cares? Live a little and enjoy! :)

Elle: The pain aspect is addictive due to hormones and endorphins it releases in one's brain, apparently. An addiction is classified as when you become obsessed with this one aspect of your life and it has negative effects on the other aspects of your life. So you could be addicted to spanking, if you are the type to enjoy the pain, and you became so focused on spanking that you lost interest in everything else in your life.

One of my best friends is a psychologist and I asked him for help with this one. Interestingly enough, he considers me a borderline sex addict anyway...*giggles*

Prefectdt: I still haven't found any hard scientific research to back this up, but I still lean towards the desire for spanking/pain play being the result of a gene.

Addiction? Well, in my case, it is the mix of adrenaline and endorphins that give the high. So presumably any chemically induced high can become addictive if over indulged, even if the chemicals are produced by your own body. Will some medical professional tell me I'm wrong about that now? Please, pretty please?

Amy: I agree that an addiction is something that has a negative effect on your life. So if spanking is a about pleasure, and if you and your partner enjoy it, I don't see a problem.

For me, spanking is erotic and I would like it a lot more. However, my husband just does it to please me so I have to balance my need for spanking for his more "traditional" needs. So in the long run,we both win :)

Dr. Ken: I would probably say "obsession" rather than "addiction," :-)

Daisy: It’s no more addictive than chocolate... He he he!

Terpsichore: Hmmm... Truthfully, I do not have an answer. I don't know. I do know that I lived without spanking most of my life and never stopped thinking about it, so I don't think depriving oneself would be effective treatment. I do think everything in life is about balance.

I am sure there can be too much of a good thing if it starts to affect your life in a negative way and prevents you from doing other things or living your life. And I am sure the degree of what would be too much would differ depending on the individual. So how would one know? I would say as long as you are happy and living life, then live and be happy. :-)

Bonnie: I have to suppose there is such a thing. I don’t know if talking about spankings with like-minded friends for 117 consecutive weeks qualifies, but looking forward to that little ouch when I sit surely must.

If there’s a cure, I don’t want it!

Thank you to everyone who added their voice to our discussion. I hope you’ll be here again next week.

1 comment :

Anonymous said...

I didn't get to post on the last brunch, but it seems that a lot of people were worried that they might be considered "weird", which is not the case. Sexually-arousing spankophilia is medically classified as a "fetish".

According to the DSM-IV, which psychiatrists use to define such, a fetish is "recurrent, intense sexually arousing fantasies, sexual urges, or behaviors involving the use of nonliving objects" (i.e.paddles, etc) and does not to be "treated" as long as it is kept in the bedroom with two consenting adults and does not interfere with their lives outside the home.

Sexually-arousing spankophilia is different from sado-masochism, which involves mental degradation and humiliation (which may be sexually arousing for some).

As far as "addictions" go, the upcoming DSM-V defines addiction as "uncontrolled, compulsive use"; if there is no harm being suffered by, or damage done to, the patient or another party, then clinically it may be considered "compulsive", but is not categorized as an "addiction".

As far as medical studies go, I'm not sure if this is real, but there was one study that I know of on the benefits of spanking/whipping reported in Russia:

So, why do spankophilias compulsively love their spanking fetish so much? For many different reasons, but they include
1) the release of endorphins (similar to a runner's high) which make effects similar to opiates resulting in analgesia (a sense of pain relief) and a feeling of well-being.

2) For bottoms to feel like someone else they trust is in control and can shoulder the burden of life's stresses for them.

3) For tops, it may be a reason to feel like they are in control in a world that seems like it is rushing over them.

In any sense, when a consenting/ desiring top and bottom in a trusting relationship engage in sexually-arousing spanking, a feeling of safety and that the world is right for a little bit can result. And we feel happy afterward. So, no, there is no need for treatment. Just hold onto your spankophilic relationships as hard as you can to keep the happiness alive.

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