Monday, September 10, 2007

Keyword Chaos Retread

I'm always amazed by the bizarre array of search engine phrases that bring readers to this blog. Here are some examples from the past week...
  • granny spanking - Don't knock it if you haven't tried it!

  • Bonnie smarts - As a matter of fact, I am a little tender back where I sit

  • anal sex roleplay advice - Use lots of lube, start slowly, and practice good hygiene

  • best position for a spanking - Off to one side and watching

  • fun things to do with your girlfriend - Bring her flowers, take her out for a nice dinner, and then let nature take its course

  • is spanking wrong? - Not if it's between consenting adults

  • my wife wants me to spank her - So why are you still on the computer?

  • panty line fetish - Before I started this blog, I had no clue how popular panty lines could be

  • rubber band butt sting - Guaranteed to provide an annoying spanking

  • second life spanking - You guys need to come up for air once in a while

  • spanking ring - Is that the sound of a booty call?

  • spanking survivor - This season, they're not voting people off of the island

  • drop your pants, young lady - This is a truly magical phrase

  • face down inappropriate anus - Huh?

  • Katie Spades mug shot - You won't read about that story here

  • medieval spanking - Now let's not get medieval on anyone's backside

  • reasons to spank - How many spankees are there?

  • secret spanking - That's assified information

  • songs about the buttocks - See Sir Mix-a-Lot

  • a wedgie so har let see girl ass - Whatever, dude

  • alternative lyrics for happy birthday - Hmmm, it's about time for another song parody

  • anal sex with large bottom women - That tale's been spread far and wide

  • any kind of sexy quiz - Obviously this reader is not particular

  • are you going to be my pantie boy - Nope

  • Bada Bing thongs - Ask Silvio

  • bare bottom spanking in Valdosta, Ga - Try a personal ad

  • beautiful and curvy bubble-butt women - That's almost a compliment

  • bend over beginner stockroom - Someday we'll be allowed to spank in the expert stockroom

  • bottom personality - Mine must be easily embarrassed because it blushes often

  • excessive butt plug - No, thank you

  • fanny fries - The perfect side for your Spanko Burger

  • fun not hurtful spanking - "It don't mean a thing if it ain't got that sting"

  • girls being wedgied - Am I to understand that "wedgie" is now a verb?

  • god master foot beg slave lick - Um, yeah

  • he let wife shave pantyhose - Shaving pantyhose is a terrible idea

  • hot girdles - Yes, but not in a good way

  • how to stop pain from a spanking - Don't get spanked

  • hubby wearing my bra - Hey, get your own!

  • I slid my rubber gloved hand in her - So do you enjoy your new security job at the airport?

  • is fifty to old to spank? - I sure hope not!

  • men taught to wear panties - Oh, come now - It doesn't exactly require an advanced degree

  • naughty girl panty rear encouragement - Randy gave me some "encouragement" last night

  • not exciting enough for my husband - Tell Mr. Thrillseeker that he's not exactly Brad Pitt himself

  • shapely fountain pens - OK, I try not to judge people's kinks, but this one is mighty strange

  • soccer mom and coach sexual escapades - Mommy, why is that minivan bouncing up and down?

  • spank left cheek or right - Both!

  • spank me I'm a bad girl bit torrent - This will teach you to download music!

  • spanking roast done - The roast isn't done until the chef says it's done

  • Tudor spanking story - The Taming of the Shrew

  • very short cheerleader skirt - Tom Thumb's sister had tremendous school spirit

  • virtual spanking machine - Excuse me, but where's the fun in that?

  • went to the woods to go bare people saw me and got spanked when I got home - Your mistake was allowing those bare people to see you

  • what's in your panty drawer? - Uh, panties...

  • where did red hot spankings go? - They were just here a moment ago

  • wife costume roleplay sex - Dress as a wife? Now there's an original concept


Anna said...

You get fun keywords, when people come to my blog they're looking for one of two things; "firefighters" or "nose hair" go figure.

Anonymous said...

Always very very funny. Thank you.

hermione said...

Shapely fountain pen - oh, my! I hope it isn't going in nib first!

bend over beginner stockroom - this reminds me of the early days in our romance. Ron and I would meet in the basement stockroom at work when no one else was around, for a little hanky panky.


Paul said...

Bonnie, must be something about you that attracts these weird searchwords. But always funny.
Warm hugs,

BB said...

You make me laugh, Bonnie! At least they are spanking you and not me on your keywords. :)

Kallisto said...

Hilarious, as usual! Thanks for the good laugh, Bonnie!


Sorry but I am going to have to steal your idea and post some word search results that I am getting. They are just too funny to keep to my self, but I do not think that I will ever get lists as long and as funny as yours.


Theresa said...

I just love these.


Bonnie said...

Anna - Those have some possibilities...

Self - You're quite welcome.

Hermione - I often wonder what folks were expecting to find when they typed in these phrases.

Paul - Weird can definitely be funny, and I've found a rich deposit of weird!

BB - Not only do they want to spank me, these readers want to dress me in rubber girdles!

Kallisto - You're welcome

Prefectdt - Please feel free. I certainly wasn't the first blogger to have a little fun with query words.

Theresa - Thanks!

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