Monday, January 08, 2007

The Bottom of the Mailbag


OK, this is off-topic. I admit it. But it just so needs to be said…

These are some messages that, for reasons that will become evident, I didn’t include in my usual mailbag segment. Let’s see if we can have a little fun with them.

Message: I am the former oil minister of Nigeria…

Response: Oh yeah? I used to be court toady to the Livestock Queen at the Murphy County Fair.

Message: Miracle penis growth formula!

Response: That would a miracle all right. I believe I’ll pass.

Message: Confidential stock alert

Response: How confidential can it be if spammers know about it?

Message: XXX squirting beauties

Response: I’m holding out for four X’s

Message: Meet hot girls in your town

Response: If I really wanted to meet those girls, I’d probably just say “hello.”

Message: Free on-line casino action!

Response: I’ll wager the “free” casino wants a credit card number.

Message: Buy \/l@ggr@ cheep

Response: Why would I buy anything from people who can’t spell?

Message: Microsoft Office for $50

Response: Have I shown you my bridge in Brooklyn?

Message: Weight loss breakthrough your doctor doesn’t want you to know about

Response: If my doctor doesn’t want me to know, I’m confident it’s a bad idea.

Message: Grow hair instantly!

Response: Look, it’s the amazing human Chia Pet...

Message: Lowest prices on Rolex

Response: Why is my wrist turning green?

Message: Your eBay account has been suspended

Response: Thank goodness. I was going broke bidding on that junk!

4 comments :

Ree said...

ha ha those are funny, but your answers had me rolling on the ground laughing.

Doc said...

Oh spammers... will they never learn! What no penis enlargement? I see growth, but that makes it sound like you could start from scratch.

And come now Bonnie, you are worth at least five Xs

Bonnie said...

Ree: Thanks! I can't stop spammers so the only option left is to ridicule them.

Doc: But I don't want one at all, except maybe from my husband once in a while! :D

Caryagal said...

Ohh!! I get those too!! I love that others can find them funny too! Thanks for making me laugh out loud!!!

Carye

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