Monday, January 08, 2007

The Bottom of the Mailbag

OK, this is off-topic. I admit it. But it just so needs to be said…

These are some messages that, for reasons that will become evident, I didn’t include in my usual mailbag segment. Let’s see if we can have a little fun with them.

Message: I am the former oil minister of Nigeria…

Response: Oh yeah? I used to be court toady to the Livestock Queen at the Murphy County Fair.

Message: Miracle penis growth formula!

Response: That would a miracle all right. I believe I’ll pass.

Message: Confidential stock alert

Response: How confidential can it be if spammers know about it?

Message: XXX squirting beauties

Response: I’m holding out for four X’s

Message: Meet hot girls in your town

Response: If I really wanted to meet those girls, I’d probably just say “hello.”

Message: Free on-line casino action!

Response: I’ll wager the “free” casino wants a credit card number.

Message: Buy \/l@ggr@ cheep

Response: Why would I buy anything from people who can’t spell?

Message: Microsoft Office for $50

Response: Have I shown you my bridge in Brooklyn?

Message: Weight loss breakthrough your doctor doesn’t want you to know about

Response: If my doctor doesn’t want me to know, I’m confident it’s a bad idea.

Message: Grow hair instantly!

Response: Look, it’s the amazing human Chia Pet...

Message: Lowest prices on Rolex

Response: Why is my wrist turning green?

Message: Your eBay account has been suspended

Response: Thank goodness. I was going broke bidding on that junk!


Ree said...

ha ha those are funny, but your answers had me rolling on the ground laughing.

Doc said...

Oh spammers... will they never learn! What no penis enlargement? I see growth, but that makes it sound like you could start from scratch.

And come now Bonnie, you are worth at least five Xs

Bonnie said...

Ree: Thanks! I can't stop spammers so the only option left is to ridicule them.

Doc: But I don't want one at all, except maybe from my husband once in a while! :D

Caryagal said...

Ohh!! I get those too!! I love that others can find them funny too! Thanks for making me laugh out loud!!!


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